ALMOST A YEAR IN THERAPY...

 Something Don Rickles (RIP) would say in his act, "I wish you what I have, people around you who care." I've been in therapy for almost a year. During this year I've had many anxiety attacks, mostly at work. I've had trouble sleeping for the most part. My mind just goes different places when I get to the point of laying me down to sleep. I'm on two antidepressants, Zoloft and Abilify. All this and still dealing with grief. I don't know if that will ever go away.

Dealing with all that, with people who actually care makes the journey a little easier. It's like what the writer said, "Nobody told me that the road would be easy, but I don't believe He brought this far to leave me."

I want to apologize for not being as whole as some of you want me to be. That's part of the reason I apologize when I have the attacks I have because I don't want to be a burden to anybody. The attacks seem to always happen after my therapy appointments which is weird because the session go well. I get to work hoping to have a good night, then at one point of the night like clockwork, boom. I feel overwhelmed. Eyes get watery, and all of the sudden the thoughts I try to suppress, come back and I feel like I'm stuck. I try to fight it by "manning up" and doing the job, but even that becomes a tassel. Then the question gets asked, "Daniel, are you ok?" It took me a while to figure out that it's ok to not be ok. I've read that on many of social media posts, but to look someone in the eye and say no I'm not ok is not easy.

When I get to the point where I can admit that I'm not ok, that's when the release comes. I can go outside and get some air, pray, and or call someone. I come back to myself the best I can and come back to work. "Daniel, if you ever need to talk..." I'm slowly starting to believe some when they say that. Cause for so long...know what I mean? 

Without going into too much detail, I'm just going to say that suicide has been hitting a little too close to home. Having people around you is good but I feel what's important is what are those people doing? Do they care about your well being or are you just a number on the phone or a friend on a friends list. Having friends and family around is cool, but what does it matter if they don't care about your mental well being. Don't wait until it's too late to tell someone that you care. You telling someone you care might just save their life.

"I wish you what I have, people around you who care." ~ Don Rickles

Again I'm going to apologize, this time for the time between the blogs. I had a lot to say but I didn't know how to put it into words together? I don't know, I hope this makes up for it. If you got anything out of this please share. If you know anybody that also deals with anxiety and depression, maybe share this with them to let them know that they're not alone. Like I've said in the past, if I can reach one person, I feel that I've done my job. Peace, Love, and

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

JUST SAYING THANK YOU

How do I start? First I got to say thank you. Thank you God. Thanks to all for the thoughts and prayers. Got to publicly thank my Mom and little sister for going above and beyond. Thanks to all that have helped and offered help. Thank you Lander University. I'm forever grateful for the outpour of love from everybody.

Ok, this may be the part where I lose some of you. Those that's been following the blogs, know that I can go from A to E skipping all the letters in between. Here it goes, I mentioned having a little anxiety, and got a reaction to it. (Blank Look At the Camera) Let me explain. "Daniel make sure you do this, Daniel make sure you do this. Daniel have you done this. Daniel have you done this. Daniel make sure you take your medicine. Daniel...Daniel...Daniel...DANIEL!!" I had to keep telling myself you can do this. You can stick to the plan this time, even though you have fallen off. I had to tell myself that I'm not stupid. I had to tell myself to breathe and just follow the plan. I had to tell myself that I know I don't want to go through this again. I know what I went through. The scary part was living alone. The scary part is that the high anxiety, PTSD, and grief is still there and I got all that. The scary part is that I still got therapy appointments. I post about my therapy appointments because I thought that people cared about mental health. Sometimes it feels like when America "came together" after 9/11, when in reality, that "come together" barely lasted a week.

Not saying people don't care it's just I tend to overthink things. Like when I was in the hospital for this and hopefully last go around I was told that I was going to get an ultrasound. I was moved from the hospital bed I was on and got moved to a transport bed. Stayed there for about an hour. I've openly talked about my trust issues, and this is very apparent with hospitals. So I was staying there, these words came out my mouth, "It's almost like they don't even want me to leave." That was a real thought I had at the time because flashbacks came from 2013 when I was in the hospital and I had just got discharged, and was left sitting in a wheel chair for what felt like forever waiting for somebody from transport to transfer me out, I was left feeling unwanted. I had tears in my eyes. Mom ended up coming up to get me and wheel me out. This was at the same hospital. Now at that time I didn't have any therapy, I definitely needed it. I wasn't on any antidepressants. I wasn't working. Fast forward, 9 years later, I'm working. I'm seeking therapy. I'm on antidepressants.

Even before the scare at the hospital, this verse has been ringing in my soul.. Galatians 6:9 in the KJV, "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not." Cause I was at my job working hard. I was in church working hard. I was working myself into a downward spiral. My therapist has been telling me that I have to make decisions that are best for me, but my bank account was letting me know, "(Dude) you better get that money." Then I kept hearing Anthony Williams formally known as Tonex's song called God Has Not 4Got, and in this song, he adlibbed, "Be not weary in well doing..." I thought I was catching a stride. Before I went to the hospital, I had a Dr's appointment set up to get caught up on my medicine, and then next thing I know I'm on the Ambulance, by the way shout outs to the EMTs.

So yeah with all that happening, I have no idea why I had to remind myself...

I ask before you comment on this blog that you've read the whole thing. This is something that I had to get out my brain. Again I thank all of you for the calls, prayers, texts, and so forth. Special shout out to my Mom and little sister once again. Special shout out to all the Pastors. Shout outs to Lander University. I hope I didn't say anything that was considered a shot or anything. That was not my intention. Continue to pray for me as I start this journey again. Mental Health matters. Peace and love and--

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson 

THIS MAY NOT CHANGE ANYTHING....

 I'm not here to change anybody's mind. I'm going to try and be extremely careful with what I want to say. Now I will say that I don't listen to Gospel rap like I used to. Not because I consider it blasphemous or anything. It's not because I got a "wake up" call about rap music. I'm still a rap fan. I'm not anti rap. I'm not anti gospel rap. Reach the nations. I still believe gospel rap can reach people that the church has thrown away if used right. My problem with gospel rap, again my, me, Daniel Richerson, my problem with gospel rap is that it's become a little too saditty. It lost the essence of what gospel music is supposed to be. Gospel rap to me has the same problem that hip hop in general has is that things are being rapped but nothing is being said. 

BUT....I believe that if some gospel rappers could sing, they would tell me and others, "You don't know my story. All the things that I've been through. You can't feel my pain. What I had to go through to get here. You'll never understand my praise. Don't try to figure it out because my worship is for real." I believe we don't know what worship really is. I believe worship is more than what we has the church has made it out to be.

John 4:23-24 KJV "But the hour cometh, and now is, when the true worshippers shall worship the Father in spirit and in truth; for the Father seeketh such to worship him. God is a Spirit,: and they that worship him must worship him in spirit and in truth." 

I'm trying to be real careful with my words because I have typed on this subject before and used shall we say a more blunt approach. I do apologize if my words have offended anybody. 

I've referenced this song in another post, Preacher man by Canton Jones, and while watching the video, I saw a visual that almost brought tears to my eyes. It was a visual of missionaries and deacons dressed in their "Sunday's Best" sitting next and conversating with the people from the street with their street clothes on. Sitting next to each other while receiving the Word from the preacher. I asked myself the question, "Will I ever see that in my lifetime?" Will I ever see the church actual welcome folks in that don't look like, walk like, or praise like sit next each other and enjoy and participate in a church service together, or because they're considered hip hop...? 

I'm not trying to change anybody's mind. This is not meant as shot to anybody. This is a plea for conversation to happen between generations. This is a plea for those who sing out the hymn book to have a conversation with those who may listen to artists from Reach Records and God Over Money Records. This is a plea to actually let everything that has breath...

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

2022...DO BETTER

I've been hesitating typing this post because I've been trying to get my thoughts together all of them to try to have it make sense...huh? My mind has been all over the place due to circumstances that has happened to cause my mental health to go well mental again. Thanks for nothing 2022. There's a reason why I never say new year new me. That's a work. While I say that some people turn that work in to a shoot, meaning they actually turn it into a lifestyle...and God bless them. I'll be honest, I'm not that disciplined yet. 

So my 2022 so far has been just another case of my child hood just erasing itself in front of my eyes. 2021 brought the loss of high school friends and adults that were major parts of my childhood. The beginning of 2022 we've lost Betty White, Sidney Poitier, and Bob Saget. I grew up watching Full House on TGIF. Sidney directed one of my all time favorite movies, Stir Crazy. Not to mention To Sir With Love, become like a cult classic with my sister and myself. More to my sister but I did watch it also. Golden Girls....what else is there to say? Oh, Daniel, they're just celebrities...ok, next time you cry over a football game, as the old hymn say, "Let me clear my throat!" Don't get offended because I called an old rap song a hymn, these are the jokes--

And I tested positive for Corona! So I got tested for Covid just to be sure before I start back going to work, and I took it on a Wednesday. and was told I would have my results by that Friday. Didn't get it until that next Tuesday morning. I was sleep, then got up because my bladder was---never mind, and I looked at my phone because I'm not a self hating millennial, cough cough, and saw that I had a text message from DHEC with my results. Coo Coo Cachoo, I found out that I was positive. I was told by someone, "I don't want you going crazy." Ok...you know that thing of where you tell someone not to look down, and they end up---looking--

All joking aside, as I'm typing this, it's been about a week since I was tested and I am feeling better. Still coughing a little bit but that's about it. So I tested positive...around the same day, I got a phone call that a loved one's condition had gotten worse...hence the warning about not going crazy. I was actually doing good for a few days, mentally. Then the situation got worse than that...remember in Shrek when Shrek and Donkey was trying to get to the castle? They were going across the rickety bridge, and Donkey was repeating to himself not to look down. Then a piece of the bridge broke and Donkey uttered, "Shrek, I'm looking down!" 

All the stuff that people tell me not to feel, I felt. "Daniel don't feel this way. Daniel don't feel that way." Too late. I will say somebody did tell me to work on my mental health exercises, and I did. Again I was doing well until--it was just all too much. If God allows, I'll be 35 this year. Is it too late for me? Is it too late for me to find love? Will I ever use my time wisely? Will I ever impress my spiritual fathers and mothers? Am I overreacting? Will I ever be able to get over it? Is it too late?

I mentioned mental health exercises. This is what I do. This is not a suggestion for what you should do. I'm not that smart. This is what I do. I try to remember what has been told to me in the sessions I've had. I write blogs. Youtube has this thing called "My Mix" where it puts a mix of videos you watch often, and for me and my video mix, they help me stay sane. I listen to music. I pray. I don't pray like everybody else. I tend to do what the song writer said, "Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles. He'll hear your fainted cry, and He'll answer by and by. When you feel the pray wheel turning. Know that the fire is burning. Just a talk with Jesus makes it all right." My problem is when I do pray, I feel bad because I don't pray like the mothers of old or the "seasoned saints" of today. I may be wrong, but my mind is going to Matthew 6:5-7 (CEV), "When you pray, don't be like those show-offs who love to stand up and pray in the synagogues and on the street corners. They do this just to look good. I can assure you that they already have their reward. When you pray, go into a room alone and close the door. Pray to your Father in private. He knows what is done in private and will reward you. When you pray don't talk on and on as people do who don't know God. They think God likes to hear long prayers."

Please hear me, I'm not throwing stones, I'm just letting some things out. I'm just different. I'm just a dude trying to make it like everybody else. It took me a minute to get this post out as clear as I wanted it to be. I hope I did a good job. I tried to type this blog earlier, but my emotions and focus was too off for me to get any clear thought out. Continue to pray for me and people like me who suffer but feel like we got to be silent at times. Continue to pray for the lonely. Continue to pray for those who had Covid-19 and are still feeling the repercussions of it. I read someone that it's called Long Covid. Pray for their mental health as well. Pray for the Kingdom. Saints don't stop praying for the Lord is nigh. Saints don't stop praying, He'll hear your cry. For the Lord has promised, and His Word is true. Saints don't stop praying He'll answer you.

And I'm done. Thank you for reading if you got this far. I hope something was said that was encouraging. I hope I didn't offend anybody, that's never my intention. If I can get some of you to share the post to get it out to those who may need to read it, that would be cool. I appreciate all of you who continue to support what I do. Here's to a better 2022 for all of us.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson
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IT TAKES LOVE

 One of my favorite movies of all time is a little movie called Lethal Weapon. If you don’t know, this movie was one of the original “buddy cop” movies. Roger Murtaugh was a family man, 50 years old, and a police officer for many years. He got told that he was going to get a partner by the name of Martin Riggs. Riggs was perceived as crazy. He was perceived as psychotic. He was suffering from mental health issues. He lost his wife which turned his world upside down. Meaning night after night he would hold a gun to his mouth ready to end it with tears in his eyes, but right before he pulled the trigger, he would uncock the gun and express how much he misses his now late wife. So holding all that emotion in while trying to be a police officer at the same time would probably make anybody a little off, right? I bring up this movie, because it was the love of Murtaugh and his family that lifted Riggs out of his mental condition. He didn’t talk to a therapist which he likely needed to, it was the love of his new partner and family. Maybe what’s keeping some people from losing their minds is love. The love of God. The love from family and friends. I believe the writer was right when they said, “What the world needs now is love sweet love.”

The church I attend now had 3 prior pastors, one of which was my Dad. Dad would sometimes get up for his sermon and just read from hymn 425 in the COGIC Hymnal.

“I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore, Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more; but the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry, from the waters lifted me—Now safe am I. All my heart to Him I give, ever to Him I’ll cling, in his blessed presence live, ever His praises sing. Love so mighty and so true merits in my soul’s best songs; faithful, loving service too to Him belongs. Souls in danger, look above, Jesus completely saves, He will lift you by his love out of the angry waves. He’s the Master of the sea, billows his will obey; He your Savior wants to be—be saved today. Love lifted me, love lifted me, when nothing else could help, love lifted me; love lifted me, love lifted me, when nothing else could help, love lifted me.”

I will admit now that I realize that some may be reading this that do not believe in God. I’m not here to argue with anybody about the existence of God. That’s your prerogative. I will say that you must talk to somebody if you’re dealing with some type of anxiety or suicidal thoughts, God or not. Keeping that kind of stuff in is not healthy. Find an ear you can vent to that would use their mouth to spread your business or their fingers to spread your business on social media. To those that don’t believe in God, I will say you can vent to God and don’t have to worry about him spreading your business. I’m just saying.

As I write this, we as wrestling fans are worried about the well being of a wrestler that recently went on Instagram and contemplated suicide. Apparently, this wrestler had a gun and read out their last will and testament. In the last month this is the second wrestler I’ve seen make a video with the subject of ending it all. The spirit of suicide is not a game. I understand that wrestling is a work, but the people behind the characters we love or despise have real life issues. I understand the feeling of wanting to end it all. I never would have the guts to make a video about it. I have cried myself to sleep night after night due to mental anxiety. Why did I never do it? Because of the love of my family and church family. I’ve mentioned this before and it’s still holds true, I have to learn how to love Daniel. You must learn how to love you. Find something good about yourself and build on that.

Now if you know somebody that is dealing with said issues, don’t just say love you got to show love. Fred Hammond said, “When you say how are you doin'/ Do you really wanna know/ And are you concerned, yeah/ And if you had the solution/ But it took some of your time or some cash or whatever/ Are you willing.” The chorus goes like this.

“Not just what you say {It's mostly what you do}
Not a game that you play {To keep the winning hand with you}
Not just wasting time {With empty words that don't mean much}
Not just how you feel {When others need your tender touch}
So can you take out some time {To help somebody else in need}
And when this is done {The love of God is truly seen}
Then above all {We need to cover and forgive}
Then we can act like we know what love is”

With people hurting with a pain that doesn’t seem to be going away this is not the time to play with people emotions. The wrestlers I talked about before are just two examples of people dealing with mental health, and many other people that are dealing with the same issues but unlike some people, they have a platform. September is suicide prevention month. There’s a hotline you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can call on God. My inbox is open. There are people that are willing to listen and love on you. Not everybody Is out here preying on you, some are praying for you.

That’s all I have for this post. I thank you for reading it. I thank those who keep encouraging me to keep writing. I do ask that you please share this post around if you feel led. This is a subject matter that really hits home to me. I know I talk about mental health a lot lately because I see a lot of it on my timeline on the daily. Me myself, I’m still dealing with it. So, here we go. Me writing is my therapy. And if you talk to somebody, one time is not enough. There’s a reason why the Bible says, “…men ought to always pray and not faint.” The old song says, “Don’t stop praying! The Lord is nigh; Don’t stop praying! He’ll hear your cry; For the Lord has promised, and His Word is true; Don’t stop praying; He’ll answer you.”

Ok now I’m done.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

THIS BLOG TOOK A TURN

This was originally going to be another blog about my depression and suicidal thoughts. Then I realize that I couldn't do that. I didn't want to continue to live in misery. We all got issues. We all have bruises. I just thought it wasn't a crime to say "Ow" sometimes. March 23rd I wrote a post I titled, "Unspoken", and I was very open about mental issues and anxiety. I would say that I had them. My little sister left me a comment that said, "you’re working through anxiety and mental health issues, sibling. It does not have you nor do you have it!!" And I thought she was crazy. Like I'm living with this. I know what goes on through my head on a daily, how you going to say I don't have anxiety, and mental issues? 

I believe she was trying to tell me that I have to be careful what I speak over myself. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7a "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." The last clause of Luke 6:45 "...for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." The song writer said, "Sometimes you have to encourage yourself." It's nice to get encouragement from love ones. I believe we all like a little encouragement every once in a while, but when you feel like you're not getting any encouragement, why not encourage yourself? You may not see what you're speaking, but as my old Pastor once said, "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Song writer said, "I may not see it, but I hear it." Somebody else says, "You got to see it before you see it if you're ever going to see it" Let's go Bible. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Proverbs 18:21 in the Good News Bible, "What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words."

Now the question comes how can you truly encourage yourself if you don't like yourself? I would say that's a legit question. I'm still growing in that department of liking Daniel. Find a reason to smile. Find that reason to laugh and smile. Some would say as a Christian, you don't do what necessarily feels good to you all the time, which is true, but you can find a reason to laugh. Don't let depression kick your butt. Turn the news off. If you can't turn social media off, you can at least hide the posts you don't want to see or unfollow. Radio personality Charlamagne tha god often says, "Protect your mental health." By any means necessary. Instead of watching the news, watch a good movie. Listen to your favorite song. Distance yourself from people that mean you no good even if that includes family or the people you may go to church with.

I've been told for years that I got to start looking at myself through God's eyes. What does God say about you? Forget what other people say about you. Jeremiah 29:11 in the Amplified Bible, "For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope." Another verse comes to mind Philippians 2:5, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Song writer said, "His report says I am healed/ His report says I am filled/ His report says I am free/ His report says victory." Take notice what report didn't say. Nothing about anxiety, depression, etc. Not saying those feelings won't come, but don't give in. Keep walking. 

I want to take this time to thank my sister for checking on me just about everyday to make sure that I'm ok. I want to thank the people in some of the livestreams I go into, for making a person dealing with being alone among other things feel welcome. From the church streams to the gaming streams. Thank you. I want to thank all of you who has help me keep my head up and in the game. I know I don't communicate like I should, but thank you for loving me anyway. I want to thank all the people at the cardiac rehab center I go to for helping me get through my workouts. Thank you all for reminding me that I'm not walking alone.

I hope something was said that helped out. I hope if you feel led, you share this post all you can. Continue to pray for your boy.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

Unspoken

Back in September 2013, I was struggling to breathe at night. That was going on for months but I was against going to the hospital. The July before that I went back to California for the first time in over 20 years where I got asked if I remembered things from when I was 4 when I left. Not really. Anyway, I couldn't sleep at night. One night in September I couldn't take anymore, I told my little sister, who had told me to let her know if I needed to go to the hospital. I let her know. I couldn't lay down flat on the bed. I felt like I messed everything up. I felt guilty. I felt I let everyone down. So I ended up going to the ER. Turns out I had a lot of built up fluid, and my blood pressure was stroke level high. In my mind this was punishment for all the crap I put my little sister and my parents through over the years. I can remember they wanting to do an MRI but I couldn't lay down flat and breathe properly. I ended up spending a few  days in the hospital. I remember one day I was eating lunch and this doctor came in and told me that I wouldn't make it to 30. Side note, I'll be 34 this coming May. And they had a nutritionist come in and told me about this low sodium diet. I was told to find a doctor. They put me on medicine to take. One main thing that sticks out is the day I got out, they put me in the wheel chair, and it felt like I waited forever for someone to get me. At that point, I felt alone. I went into a state of depression. My  Mom came to the room I was in, and she wheeled me out to the car so she could take me home.

You know that phrase, "If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it?" I barely looked for a doctor, so I stopped taking the medicine I was on. I broke the low sodium diet and basically did that I did before. All because I didn't care about my own well being. I had a few temp jobs but nothing that ever felt permanent. Christmas Day 2014, I was at my Aunt's house. Couldn't lay back down again. It wasn't as bad as it was the year prior, but I couldn't get comfortable. Again I felt like I let everyone down. I felt guilty. Like this was payback for something I did. I ended up going back the hospital, but this time it was a different hospital. Again the blood pressure was stroke level high. Spent a few days in the hospital again. Highlight of this trip was a cousin coming to my room to visit. I didn't expect it. Again a doctor came in the room and told me that I wasn't going to make it to 32. (Reminder 34 in May) This time around I got a doctor. When I got let out this time around the staff at this hospital was quicker and getting me out the room. 

March 27, 2020, I was driving home after dropping a dude off at work. I failed to yield to traffic, made a left turn, and got hit by a truck. The car didn't make it, but I did. I got a ticket for failing to yield. I had no damage to me. So, Daniel messed up again. At that same time, my Mom was in the hospital because of Covid. (She's healed and doing well now) So I just hit by a truck. I survived with no injury, while at the same time worried about my mom. This was right before everybody started wearing masks. So I was trying to keep from crying on the side of the road. Trying not to break on the side of road. My Pastor ended up picking me up and taking me home.

Later in 2020 spent some time in Iowa, I got real sick. Again, couldn't sleep. I was struggling to breathe with the mask on. First thought in my mind, I got it. It finally got me. The "It" of course being covid. When we got back to South Carolina, I went to my doctor's office, and got tested for Covid which was the highlight of my day at that point. Nothing like haven't a long q tip stuck up on your nose. I got a refill of all the medicines I stopped taken. I immediately started back taken them. The doctor that treated me was sure that I had Covid. Spoiler alert, test came back negative.

Here in 2021 I'm sticking to my medication, I do cardiac rehab twice a week. I'm not crossing every "t" or dotting every "i". I say again, I'm not where I want to be but Thank God--

That's all I got for this one. My goal is not to come off as a know it all. I try not to come off as I know everything. I'm just a 33 year old guy with anxiety and mental issues, speaking from his heart. I want to take this time to thank all of you for the support and encouragement. I really appreciate it. If you want to share this you can share it.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

I'M NOT IN A HURRY TO GET BACK TO NORMAL

 Luke 18:11-14 KJV The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

I don't know why I say the things I say or do the things I do on social media. Sometimes I feel like I try to hard to be accepted by people that I take little things like no reactions personal. Needless to say I'm not in a hurry for things to return to normal. Can I be honest and say "normal" wasn't so great for some of us. What's going to happen after we go back to "normal." Are we with issues going to be cast to the side again? Are people different from us going to be condemned and kicked out the church again? Are we going to go back to the same old pre pandemic church? Are the going live prayers going to stop because things are normal? Are businesses that were started going to be done because things are back to normal? Are we going to continue to be focused on the "Old Time Way" and completely ignore the new wave? What are we in a hurry to get back to normal for?

Loneliness didn't start in March of 2020. Depression didn't start in March of 2020. Anxiety issues didn't start March of 2020. What is the normal we want to get back to? I'm not in a hurry to get back to normal. I was asked one time is there any one I talk to outside of church? Not counting social media or twitch, I don't talk to anybody. I go to live streams just to hear people say Hi Daniel or what's up Daniel and not feel pressure to put on an act. I can be Daniel Richerson with no pressure. I can count on one hand of the real people I feel that comfortable with in "real life." 

I'm reminded of a verse that was told to me during an altar call some time ago. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." That put a little ease on the on the constant scan my brain tends to be on all the time. You know how you're in the car and you're looking for a radio station to listen to? So you hit the scan button so it goes through random radio stations until you hear a song you like. That's why when people ask what's on my mind I can't answer. That's a loaded question. 

So the question comes why am I not in a hurry? Long answer short, fear of the the unknown. Fear of going back to saying "No more church as usual" with no action. I've grown numb to church clichés with no action. I heard for years that we got to get out the four walls. All the while staying comfortable in their spot on the pew their spot on the totem pole. Keep in mind these are the same people that would say, "Get out your comfort zone." 

My heart really does go out to those who are begging for someone to care about their depression. I remember in high school I would write down statements like, "I'm so sick of being lonely" thinking nobody would read them. One of my old classmates happened to see what I wrote and she encouraged me writing something to the effect of, "Jesus is with you you're not alone." I can't remember verbatim what she wrote, but I really was thinking that nobody would see what I wrote. I didn't think anybody would care. Let alone somebody at high school. The next day she brought me a cookie on a stick with a happy face on it. That was unexpected and something I'll never forget. I was looking for someone to care, and was not expecting it to be one of my classmates. Some of us dealing with depression are just looking for someone to say I care, not to use our situation in a sermon or judge us. We just want to someone to care. When someone is hungry you give them food, right? I mentioned in previous posts that some of us is just looking for an ear to talk to. 

When this pandemic is truly over, let's not just go back to the old time way cause we can, but take what we've learned and developed during the pandemic and apply it. It's a waste of time learning new plays just to go back to the old plays and lose the game. Growing up I would hear, "It's not in the crowd it's in the cloud." When the crowd comes back to the sanctuary lets not forget the cloud that's been with us during the pandemic. Let's also not forget those who dealt with depression, loneliness, and anxiety during the pandemic. Continue to check on those that say they're ok. Continue to do live prayer time if that's your ministry. It is said that if you don't learn from history you're doomed to repeat it. 

That's all I have for this piece. I want to thank God. I want to thank you all for the continued support. I want to thank those that share my posts. My hope is that if I can reach one who possibly may feel the same way I do and realize they're not the only one maybe we can get well together. Follow me on my socials if you want to. Feel free to share this post all around if you feel led. I don't mind.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WHY NOT US?

 Psalm 37:4, 6-7, 9 KJV "Delight thy self also in the LORD, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth." 

James 3:17 "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone."

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of they mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

"Draw me close to you, never let me go. I'll let it all down again, to hear You say that I'm Your friend. You are my desire, no one else will do. No one else can take your place. To feel the warmth of your embrace. Help me find my way, bring me back to you. I've seen Your work in others, and I want You to work in me." ~ Draw Me Close To You/Thy Will Be Done, Marvin Winans

I mention Pastor Gray Sr, God rest his soul, all time, and he'd tell me on a couple of occasions to, "Walk the path the God has set before you." What did he mean by that? While you're trying to figure out, God has already worked it out. Just walk the path. How do we know where to go while on the path. Psalm 119:105, "Thy word is lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." The flashlight won't work if you don't turn it on. Can't get mad at the light not working if you don't open the book and read it so you can see where you're going. 

I was going to write a post talking about what do we do while we wait on God. All I heard growing up was you got to wait on Jesus. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. I heard all that, but never really was taught what to to while we wait. What I've learned about waiting is that it's kind of  like building yourself up even more to be prepared to what's coming. You do some reading and studying so you can continue to follow that path. When boxers find out the date of their next fight, they don't sit down and lallygag until the fight. They diet, they train, they spar. They prepare for battle the best way they can. That way when when the night of the fight comes, they are ready physically as well as mentally. 

During this pandemic and even before the pandemic, you saw young people using the internet to make a living. And somebody told me one day, "Why not Kingdom kids. Why can't we use the internet like that." Why not us? Matthew 5:45 "...that ye may be the children of your Father which is heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the veil and on the good. and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Habakkuk 2:4 "Behold his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him; but the just shall live his faith Why not us. I think the church has a misconception of doing this "worldly." I believe kingdom young people has the same opportunity to make money on via the internet. I think that church has a misconception on "prosperity." Church has let the word prosperity become blasphemous. Prosperity is not a bad thing. We've made a gimmick out of prophesy. It's become so much of a gimmick, some people don't believe that God can bless with houses and cars. Then comes the people that come you need to do this and you need to do that. We've gotten so used to not seeing miracles that we don't believe in them anymore. 

Let me get back on topic. We have to step out of faith. We can't expect success to come with no process. You got to give those young people that make money using the internet, most not all, put their dream to the test. They stepped out on faith. Look up the story of the YouTuber NoLifeShaq. Now's he's almost to 3 million subscribers, but he stepped out on faith, and few years later, there he is. He did it being himself. If God can do that for him and others...But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have enetered unto the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

I'm trying not to come off as the fifth element, the perfect being, I'm just another guy pressing toward the mark, like everyone else. Most of what was typed I needed to tell myself. Faith over fear. Fear is always going to be there. Push past it. I push past fear every Sunday. Since the pandemic, we've been live streaming our church services. I'm on the praise and worship team. I told myself I would never be one of those people that posts a video of me singing on social media. Mainly because of fear. Now I don't have a choice. When it's my turn to lead songs, I push by the fear and go forth. If I can do it, you can too.

Please share.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

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HOW AM I REALLY DOING? PART III

 2020 was a hard year for most of us. Especially those of us that has struggled with low self esteem and mental health, 2020 seemed to enhance it. I heard a preacher say just because we're in a new year that doesn't mean the season changed. As of typing, Covid-19 is still a problem. Racism is still a problem. I'm pretty sure a lot of us are going stir crazy. As an introvert myself, one would think I'd enjoy being home. Not entirely. I get annoyed with people, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to be alone all the time. That's one of the main reasons that I watch reaction videos and try not to laugh videos because it feels like, at least for a moment, I'm not alone.

I'm not a hugger. Never really was a big fan of them. I can remember as a kid that I would give people the shoulder besides going in for the whole hug. That caused quite the reaction from people, and of course I took it well. Just kidding. Anyway, I bring up hugs, because if I can be honest about it, I'm going to regret this, but I kind of miss getting hugged. I mean that genuine I care for you hug. Due to the pandemic, that's been outlawed.

Those that have been reading my posts, you know that most of 2020 I dealt with my own personal anxiety, depression, etc. Well recently I sat down with a couple of spiritual advisors to talk about it. I didn't think I was going to be able to do it because I'm used to keeping stuff in not letting stuff out which is where a lot of my anger comes from. I'd hold a lot of stuff in because I didn't think anybody wanted to listen. Matter of fact when I was a teenager I believe, I actually went to counseling or therapy. It didn't last long, and I believe the reason it didn't last long was because I wasn't willing to really open up all the way. I basically cracked the door open with the door latch still on it refusing to remove the chain latch.

So with these recent two talks, I actually let the door open just enough so I can share what I've been holding in. Not all of it, but I got a good bit of old junk out. One question I was asked was, "Was there ever a time where you felt whole?" I thought about it and I honestly said no. I go back to being a church kid, I learned how to fake it hoping that people would leave me alone. Funny I felt lonely but at the same time I wanted people to leave me alone. I will say that it felt good opening up and not getting dragged or preached at. It felt good opening up about the why. It felt good to have an ear to talk to and not feeling like you're wasting your time. 

I was given verses to read and meditate on. One being Deuteronomy 30:19, "I call heaven and earth to record this day against  you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life that both thou and thy seed may live." Choose life. With that I've been getting up and walking in place for 15 minutes +, while doing intermittent fasting 9 pm to 11 am, this gimmick called drink to shrink, and taking my medicine.

Another set of verses I was given was Philippians 4:6-8, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." When your mind starts going off the rails, think on these things.

I want to thank all my family and friends that have checked on me and have and are praying for me. I want to thank the ears that were willing to sit down and hear me and talk with me. I want to thank you all for reading as I continue to learn how to love and forgive me. If you got this far, can you please share?

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

Still Philippians 3:13-14

Part one: https://bigdusty.blogspot.com/2020/10/learning-how-to-love-and-forgiveme.html

Part two: https://bigdusty.blogspot.com/2021/01/learning-to-love-and-forgive-myself-prt.html

LEARNING TO LOVE AND FORGIVE MYSELF PRT 2/HOW AM I REALLY DOING?

I've never been a good public speaker. I get nervous and end up trying to get a laugh. I don't do that out of disrespect, it's to keep from crying. I don't like to participate in arguments and debates which is why Sunday School started to miss me pre pandemic. So I type these blogs because it's my way of making my voice heard. I tried the podcast thing which was pretty easy because it was just me and the program audacity, and no one else in the room. So I felt free to speak my thoughts. When I would post the podcast, that's when the hypothetical leg would start shaking. This generation is told, why try to fit in when you were born to stand out...honestly I don't remember hearing that growing up. So my mindset was I got to fit in because I'm tired of my feelings being hurt. I'm tired of caring what people think. I'm tired of being tired. Even at 33 years old, I still have that anxiety.

That's when it becomes hard to like or love myself. I know I should be much further in life. I know that I'm a "grown man" and with that comes responsibilities. So I get in my own head, trying to impress the authority and when it goes wrong, I can't take it. So I end up apologizing for messing up. I end up apologizing for not being who other people want me to be. The pressure from others and the pressure I put on myself becomes overbearing so I end up contemplating---why am I still here? So when I do good, or when I get told that I'm doing a good job or I get told that I'm doing something right, I get emotional because I have trouble seeing the worth.

Some months ago I took a trip, and on the way back, I started having trouble breathing. Not just because of the facemask, but it definitely didn't help. I could barely get through the airport. Messages went out, prayers went up, and I made it home. Went to the doctor and I felt a little better, but not 100%. I was told that without good health I'm not as effective to the body of Christ. I spend the next few months lying about how I'm doing. I would say I'm ok to avoid conversation about how I'm really feeling and doing. That came back to bite me. It's written, depending on what version of the Bible you read, "The truth shall make you free" or "The truth shall set your free." If the truth brings freedom, then that means there's no freedom in lying.

Now being a child of the Church Of God In Christ, we're not really taught to admit that we're not ok. We're not really taught to admit how we're really feeling. We're taught to say, I'm blessed and highly favored. We're taught not to admit defeat, but the question comes is admitting that how you feel really admitting defeat?

So turns out I wasn't ok. I wasn't ok physically and mentally. I wasn't ok. Feeling obligated to do things that I didn't want to do. Agreeing to do things because it was the "right thing to do." I haven't realized that I can't help everybody. I have to realize that I can't keep putting my health at risk in order to help others. I have to realize that being selfish is not always a bad thing. Saying no is not selfish. Now it's easy for me to be helpful, but when it starts to feel like I'm being used like a puppet then that's when it becomes an issue. I was told that, "Once they use you up, they're just going to move on to the next person." I don't consider myself a bible scholar but I haven't read anywhere in the Bible that says, saying no is a bad thing. I read no where in the Word of God where it says, you have to be a yes man.

The question then comes, why is it so hard to say no? Why is it so hard to not allow people to use you up and throw you away? To some people it's nothing for them to say no. I've heard it's a thing that has to be learned. You have to learn to say no. I want to be able to say no without having to make an excuse for it. I want to be able to say no and not feel guilty about it. Stop feeling guilty taking my mental health seriously as well as my physical health seriously. So if I happen to say no sometimes, people just have to get over it. Easier typed than done if I'm keeping it 100. Because in my mind that "Golden Rule" comes to my mind. The Golden Rule if you don't know goes like this, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." In my mind, it goes to so and so helped me when I needed it, so I owe so and so a debt and every time ask I got to say yes. Even God doesn't say yes to everything, so why do I feel I need to?

So needless to say I still have a ways to go. This was not easy to type, but I felt that it needed to come out. Honestly this is not where I really wanted to go, but this where it ended up going. As I quoted in previous post, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WE'RE BETTER TOGETHER

Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." 

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Paul was speaking for himself here, but in reality this is for all of us. We're all pressing. So since we're all in the pressing, we have no time to try and compete with each other for position. Since we're all pressing, we have no time to be petty and hold grudges. We're supposed to be a body of believers, but we're trying to one up each other for position. This year has been a trying year for all of us, no matter how much we try church it using cliché terms, if we're honest, this has been a trying year. Still yet...

My late Pastor Gray once said, "It's time out for the church being a theater. The church is a hospital." People are coming in seeking help for issues sometimes they're not willing to talk to anybody about. I think part of the reason people post their problems on FaceBook is because the church has lost it's focus. They come to church for help, they come for answers, and get nothing. So they go to social media to let it out because they know that holding it in is not healthy. At the same time letting it out to just anybody is not healthy either because not everybody has your back. Some are just looking for gossip when they ask how you are. 

I can't speak for anybody else, but for me, I don't care about spots or position. Want my position so bad, you can take it. I'll still sleep at night. I have a lot more issues to worry about than some spot on the chain in church. I'm coming to the hospital because I still get angry. I still have high anxiety. I still get depressed from time to time. So a spot is the last thing I'm worried about. I'm trying to see what medication I need to take to get healed. If I went to the doctor, and all they talk about is how they're better than the other doctors in the office. I don't care, I'm coughing, doc, take care of the cough. What medicine do I take for the cough? I don't care about your position on the office totem pole. 

I used to be an avid pro wrestling watcher, and I've heard stories how back in the day, wrestlers would try hard to hold on to their spot, and not help the new people that want to learn the business. At the same time, some wrestlers would look at the younger talent and say, "Let me work with him, I can do something special with him." While some were trying to protect their position in the company, some were trying to keep the company going working with the younger talent so there would be a company in the future. Not to create clones but to help them be the best individual talent that they can be so they can make the most money for themselves.

Let's flip it. We got a lot of people in the kingdom still clinging and clutching to their position because nobody else can do it like them. We got up and comers that have a new vision and maybe a different way to do things, but with the "that's not the way I was taught" or "That's not how I do it" mindset, you disregard the up and comers so now they get accused of "sitting down on their gifts" when all the while they've been trying to show you what they can do to help enhance the ministry. Now some people are look at the next generation and don't bash them, but talk with them to hear them out. After the conversation maybe they can work together to help build the ministry even bigger than it is. A phrase I hear a lot is, "We're better together." If we're better together, then let's work together and stop competing with each other.

I hope you got something out of this. "I count not myself to have apprehended...I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." If you got this far, can you please share with your people? 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE AND FORGIVE...ME

One major lesson I've learned through 2020 is that I had to learn how to love myself. My mom put it like this, "You got to learn how to love Daniel." I don't publicize this a lot, but depression is something that I've dealt with since childhood. I think I can speak for a lot of people that this year especially, it feels like those of us that have those mental health issues, we hit a wall this year. It's something the church has finally become more vocal about it. I got trust issues too so I definitely don't open up to every body. When I say I got trust issues, the response is usually, "Well you shouldn't feel that way." Why do we feel that we can dictate how or what people feel from time to time? Every house is different. Even in the church. That line might cost me.

I found this definition of love, "to feel deep affection for" or "like or enjoy very much." So when one tells me, "You got to learn how to love Daniel," it tells me that I have to find deep affection for Daniel. I got to learn how to like and enjoy Daniel. I spend a lot of time alone by myself. When people talk about their circles, I barely got a dot. When I let people in, and when I feel that the circle is growing, it always seems like they disappear out of thin air and I'm by myself again. That's part of the reason why when you see me out in public, I usually keep a straight face so that I don't let people in only to have my heart broken again. Again, this line might cost me, but even amongst church folks. When I'm home, most likely I'm listening to music, or watching funny Youtube Videos just to help keep my head together.

I wrote a post some months ago taken from a New Edition song entitled, "Do You Really Love Me, Don't You Really Care." That was something I've asked myself regarding people around me all the time. Like when people ask me how am I doing, do they really want to know or are they asking to get something out of me. I want to publicly thank those that don't let me stay down when I get down. I want to publicly thank those that have the spiritual eyes and ears to know that I'm not ok sometimes. No matter how much I try to hide it.

I've had panic attacks at random times. The worse one came from when I was working at this manufacturing plant. I was at my station working and I couldn't stop crying. I could barely walk. I was dizzy. I ended up getting sent home because my partner that was working with me at the station saw that something wasn't right so she told the floor leader and she ended up sending me home. Here's the problem. My job was an hour away from where I live. So imagine in that state of mind driving home trying to stay focused. It was nothing but the grace of God that got me home safely.

I don't want to use that "s" word, but yes that has come to mind. In the state of depression that word is bound to come up from time to time, and believe me it has. I always went back to that old song, "Something down inside of me telling me to go 'head." But even with that something, I still needed to learn how to love myself and not be selfish to the fact that how would it affect others if I'd actually went through with it.

The problem then comes with the fact that I'm supposed to be a man of faith. I type all these blogs feeling dead inside sometimes and I get comments about how people enjoyed the posts and how the posts were inspiring. I remember at my 11th high school reunion, don't ask, I was approached by an old classmate and she told me that she enjoyed the posts. Even with those small glimmers of hope, I'd still feel empty like what is this all for in the end? 

Learning how to love yourself also means learning how to forgive yourself. If you've asked God for forgiveness, and you know that He has forgiven you, that should be enough for you to also say that you forgive yourself. I quote Kirk Franklin a lot, and I'm going to quote him again. On a interview on TBN, Kirk said, "David was a whore monger. David was a adulterer. David was a horrible husband. He was a horrible father, but somewhere in the text it says that David was a man after God's own heart." So what am I saying? God sees the worth despite of the mess. Somehow or another I had to learn how to see my worth despite of my mess. 

I talked about mental health, and it is an important subject in today's times more than ever, but we have to take the proper precautions to protect it. That means we can't watch everything. That means we got to cut off some dead branches so we can grow properly. That means that as much as I miss some of the people that used to be in my life, I got to let some if not all of them go. Song writer said, "I'm not going back, moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you my past is over in You all things all made new. Surrendered my life to Christ, and I'm moving forward." It is written, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Now with all that being said that doesn't stop life from happening. It is written, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above  that you are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." In other words, God will never put more on you than you can bear. Jesus said, "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

All this to say that I'm on the pathway of learning how to love/like Daniel. I still got a ways to go, but with God's help and with the help of the right people, I'm going to make it. Paul told the Philippians, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Stay Saved, 

Daniel Richerson

If you search for Kirk Franklin Steve Harvey TBN testimony from 2011, you'll find the video of Kirk dropping a lot of jewels. 

DONT LET DOUBT KILL YOU

To those of us to put on the mask of smiling the mask of faking that we are ok. How are you really doing? Are you doing ok? Well, I just want to say three simple words. Don't. Give. Up. 

Oxford defines doubt, "a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction." The verb form is defined as "feel uncertain about." A lot of us try to take the leap of faith but end up falling before we get to the other side due to panic or doubt. We feel that surge of energy to chase your dreams or do to just do what God tells you to do, but that little hole of doubt sets in and you end up procrastinating. You end up sitting in fear because you're too scared to do something. James 2:26 in the Contemporary English Version says, "Anyone who doesn't breathe is dead, and faith that doesn't do anything is just as dead!" If it takes faith to get started, it's going to take faith to keep doing.

It is written that without faith it's impossible to please God. So why do we try to please God with our performance? That's for another post.

When we find ourselves holding on by a thin thread, we got to have faith enough to believe that God can turn that thread into a closet full of blessings upon blessings.  They say watch out for that first step it's a doozie. "Doozie" meaning it's a big step or it's a deep step. The late Pastor Gray would tell me to walk the path that God has set before me. The path is set before you, but you still have to get on the path and walk. 

I know you're nervous, but take the step anyway. I know you're crying but take the step anyway. I know you've been through ups and downs, but take the step anyway. 2 Corinthians 5:7 in the King James Version says, "For we walk by faith and not by sight." Again I quote the late Pastor Gray, "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Now that doesn't mean what you see is not there. That means you got to keep going despite of what you see. You got to keep moving. Don't give up. Things may be moving slow, but take the step anyway. Things may look to be in a stand still, but take that step anyway. 

Paul said in Philippians 3:12-14 (New International Version), "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I don't consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

We're all taking this one step at a time. It's not wise to drive one way while looking in your rear view mirror. That's how crashes happen. If you're looking back, you're liable to run into a tree. You're liable to run into another car. You're liable to get out of your own lane and go into somebody else's. Don't let doubt of what's coming cause you to go back to what didn't work before. Or it may have worked, but what if God is taking you to new. We got some people letting the doubt of new hold them back. We sing songs like, "You make all things new, and I will follow you forward." But when new shows up it's, "We've never did it this way before." One thing about this Covid-19, is that it made people change. It forced people to think of "new" ways, when you had no time to dwell on your doubt and the doubt that comes from others, including family. Old song says, Keep your eyes on the prize, never mind what you left behind. Take the step anyway.

I thank you for reading. If you got something out of it, could you share please with your people. This was really directed at me. I'm 33. At times I'm scared, but I got to take the step anyway.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THEY WON'T LISTEN

Some feel like your voice is not being heard. Feel like your voice is falling on deaf ears. You sometimes feel like screaming because you feel like nothing is being accomplished. So you begin to ask a question, "Why should I keep talking? Nobody is listening anyway." I believe a lot of young preachers feel like this. I believe a lot of young people feel this way in regards to opening up to their parents. Simply, my answer is keep talking. It only takes one seed, and you don't know what that one seed is going to turn into.

If you read Matthew 13:1-9;18-23, Jesus shares and explains a parable talking about a farmer planting seeds. Explaining that some seeds fall on good ground, stony ground...some seeds get eaten by birds, and yet the farmer keeps throwing the seeds out. When you're sharing the truth about racism, or the truth about the Gospel, your job is the plant the seed. Every plant you see was a seed. Every idea started out as a seed. 

Hosea 10:12 talks of breaking the fallow ground. The Winans put it like this, "Break up that fallow ground. Before these Earthly cares choke you out, turn you around. Break up the fallow ground." Trying to speak to people that already has a made up heart and mind, it's a tough wall to get through. It's written that the day you hear God's voice harden not your heart. Why? God is love. When your heart is hardened, you're not going to let any one in. God wants your heart. Out of the abundance of the heart the  mouth speaks right? What are you speaking out of? It is written with love and kindness have I drawn them. I've heard it said you can draw more flies with honey than you you can with vinegar. 

Don't let anybody tell you how to use your voice. You got people speaking one way, and questioning other's for not using their voice the same way. Questioning ones heart because they are not doing things the way you did it or do it. Where have I seen/heard that before? I don't know about you but that logic reminds me of how some, some I said, church folk feel about praise and worship. If you don't praise God like the who ever has the microphone tells you too, you'll get accused of "not praising." Because obviously, you praise to be seen. Like you protest obviously to be seen. In Matthew 6 Jesus says repeatedly, "thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly." It also talks about, when you do things to be seen, you already have your reward. 

So what do you do when nobody wants to listen? What do you don when it seems like nobody cares what you got to say? What do you do when you're talking but nobody likes the way you're presenting it? Keep talking. Some seeds fall on good ground some don't. You can't control the soil in this scenario. Keep talking. Keep posting. Let your voice be heard. Continue to speak the truth in love. So what you don't do it like everybody else. We all got our own race to run, and everybody don't run the same way. Somebody is waiting to hear you, and they can't hear you if you're mouth is shut. Pray that people will break that fallow ground and allow the truth to enter in the hearts. Ye shall now the truth and the truth shall make you free.

Thanks for reading. I hope you got something out of it. I'm still tired mentally, but I got this out. If you did get something out of it, I ask that you share this by retweeting and/or sharing on your Facebook, or how ever else you can. 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

CHECK THE SNOUT

I looked up the definition of prey and a couple of definitions came to mind, but this one definition caught my eye, "to have an injurious, destructive, or wasting effect."

Webster defines the act of praying, "to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving"

In the wild, when a predator is on the hunt, they usually don't go after the strongest victim. Sometimes the most vulnerable prey is the one that ends up getting caught. The one that's not paying attention. That's the one that gets got.

1 Peter 5:8  "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Matthew 7:15-20 KJV, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I'm going to share the same verses from Matthew from the Message Bible, "Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned."

We've all heard the saying wolves in sheep's clothing. Don't be impressed with clothing. A clean suit doesn't mean anointing. A clean suit doesn't mean pure in heart. A pimp knows how to look good in a suit too. A drug dealer. A politician. So it has to be more than the right clothes. A white collar doesn't make you a preacher. Basically what I'm saying is, check the snout. There's a difference between the snout of a sheep and a snout of a wolf.

Be careful of who you're listening to. During this time a lot of people have itching ears, and people will tell you anything to satisfy that itch. You don't have to go into everyone's live feed. This is not the time to be church hopping. Ever hear the older generation talk about they don't eat everyone's cooking? Why? You don't know what they put in the food. You don't know if they got cats or dogs all up in the food while preparing the food. You don't know for sure that they washed prior to touching the food. So naturally, so spiritually. You don't know the motives behind the message. You don't know what the message is seasoned with. Is the message using scripture in the proper context or are they using scripture to satisfy the ears of the vulnerable? Be alert. Be sober. 

Ephesians 4:26-32, "Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.  Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

It's ok to be angry. I believe a lot of us are angry. Angry about the racism. Angry about the ignorance. Angry about politics. It's ok to be angry, but don't let the anger push you to do something stupid. Inhale, exhale. Use the anger as motivation to do something productive. Use that anger to do something constructive. This doesn't mean that you let people walk over you. You're standing up for yourself in way that productive and not destructive. At the same time you poke a bear long enough...that's when you use God as your back up. You do as the old hymn says. "Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles. He will hear the faintest cry. And He'll answer by and by. When you feel the prayer wheel turning. You'll know that the fire is burning. Just a little talk with Jesus makes it all right."

Exodus 14:14, "The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

Thank you for reading. I ask that you share this with everyone you like and don't like if you got something out of it.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

IN DUE SEASON

Romans 14:10-13 "Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."

Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

We're busy trying to cancel people. We're busy trying to play God, meaning we're acting like we have a heaven or hell to put anybody in. We've been on the umbilical cord too long. I respect the old school just as much as anybody else, but we've been feeding off the old school too long that some of us haven't opened the Bible for ourselves. Some have been on milk so long that when someone comes with solid food, they spit it out. Some of us have been so connected to the old school mentality that when the message comes in a new way, we cast it out as demonic when actually it's God trying to tell you something. It's time to cut the umbilical cord. Listen cutting the cord does not dismiss the old school and all the good that it bought.  The old saying goes like this, "Take the meat, and spit out the bones."

We're all exhausted. We all need a break from the news and social media because just about every other posts reminds us that we have a long way to go as a nation. We have a long way to go as a body of Christ. All these posts should push us to to prayer. Should push us to talking more with God and less to our phones or computers. Prayer and fasting still works if you use it. There's a screw driver on my dresser that is not being used. Doesn't mean it's broken. It's just not being used. The folks outside the church realize how important fasting is, why can't the church? The church has belittled the world so much, it's no wonder that people like to window shop churches besides going in a buying anything. Like how black people don't go certain places because they know that they don't get treated right when they go to that certain place. So the question becomes what kind of church do people see when they look in your window? Is it a church of love and kindness? Or is it a church of open rebuke and a dress code?

Imagine if God chose to cancel us after we messed up. The wages of sin is death, right? So imagine if God was like man? Imagine how you would feel? I know people that won't come back to church now because of what we're doing to other people that misspoke. People disregard church hurt like it's meaningless, but it's just like being treated like the proverbial red headed step child. You're technically with us, but you get none of the benefits. Who would want to be in that kind of family? You wonder why kids join gangs instead of finding a church home?

Galatians 6:9 " And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

I know we're getting tired of protesting. We're getting tired of trying to explain why we get angry about police brutality. Why we get angry about racism. Keep going. Yes, we've been marching for years. We've been pleading our case for years. In due season. We've never seen a world wide support like this. We've never seen a death of an unarmed black man cause this much outrage globally. We've never seen so much support from white people, specifically white celebrities. In due season. Don't faint. If they aren't listening, keep talking. If they don't care, keep talking. I remember plenty of times I'd sit in class not giving two cares about what the teacher was saying, but they kept talking. Because they knew they had a job to do. We have a job to do. We have a message that needs to be sent out.

The last clause of Romans 10:14 "And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"

I know there's people on my timeline that don't agree with what I blog about and what I post on my social media, but I still believe that the message needs to be heard. I believe that once you're truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, you're going to do something about it. Saying goes, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Thank you for reading. As preachers that go live on FB say, can I get as many of you that can to please share? I thank those that do share my thoughts on their social media. I thank those that like to comment in person. Thank you for reading. Feel free to go down the timeline and check out the other posts that I've done over the years.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WE CAN'T BREAK DURING THIS SEASON

I'm not going to try to speak for everybody, but I will speak for myself. My anxiety has been making itself known during this season we're all going through. As a church kid, we don't get much teaching on how to handle anxiety. I'm glad that finally mental health is getting the focus it's been needing for years.

Don't be afraid to ask for help. There's a saying that goes, "A closed mouth don't get fed." Another one goes like this "We have not because we ask not" You can't get an answer if you don't ask the question. I once heard Kirk Franklin break it down like this, "A doctor can only heal what we reveal." Don't wait until it's too late. Have a little talk with Jesus tell him about your troubles. He'll lead you in the right direction. You want to talk to someone that won't prejudge you while you're talking. You won't find a lot of people like that. Not saying there aren't any, but it's not a guarantee. Jesus is that guarantee.

With that being said, I'm not going to sit here and say that it's easy to go to Jesus for your problems, when some of the people that serve Jesus won't even lead you to Him. People give you such generic responses to you pouring your heart out because the odds are some people don't care anyway. I believe one of the problems is that when people come to Christians for advise or just to have a heart to heart, some believers can't lay down the man made title and put on the title genuine. If there was ever a time for people need to genuine care for each other is now.

I have a tendency of holding stuff in for a long time. I'm not good at calling people because I need to talk. Even though at times that's what I really need to do, I don't. My fear of reaction stops me from calling people. I've always had anxiety anyway, but with this "pandemic" it feels like it's become harder for me. I put so much pressure on myself because of comparison. Meaning that I often find myself comparing my situation with that past generations and that's when the fear of "generational curse" comes in. I get in a mood set sometimes when I live not to disappoint. Sometimes I find myself doing things not because I need to do them, but fear of not pleasing people that have gave me advise of what to do. So in my mind, if I don't do it exactly how they told me to do it, I'm doing it wrong. This is what I live with. So when if I'm giving someone a ride or if you see me at church, the mask is on. Doing what I got to do to get done what I need to get done only to come back home and have the same anxiety that I hide from everyone. 

One of my go to songs has been Okay by Canton Jones. I just want to hear to Lord, it's going to be okay. Another go to song for me has been Help Me by James Fortune. The title speaks for itself. Sometimes that's been my prayer, help me.

We got to find a way to continue to lift our hands. We got to find a way to not break. We got to find a way to stay in the field until the war is ended. We got to find a way to meditate on the Bible day and night "so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success." Find a way to put it on the altar and leave it there. God did not bring us this far just to leave us. So what i'm saying to everybody reading, and what I'm saying to Daniel, don't be afraid to ask for help. We can't break in this season. I heard a preacher compare it to a pine tree. Bend but don't break. 

Thanks for reading. Be sure to leave a comment and share with your peoples.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

KEEP ME WHERE THE LIGHT IS

For most the first Bible verse they remember learning is John 3:16. For me, the first Bible verse I remember learning is Psalm 119:105. "Thy word is a lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." I remember my sister and I was at this day care on East North Street in Greenville SC that's not even there anymore. It was called Rocking Horse Daycare. One day they had this video in that was like a biblical music for kids. One song that stuck with me for some reason was a song based on Psalm 119:105. I had no idea what it meant at the time, but of all the songs that was on the video that was the song that left its imprint.

Another version of that verse says, "Your word is like a lamp that shows me the way. It is like a light that guides me." Joshua 1:8, "This book of the law shall not depart out of thy mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein day and night, that thou mayest observe to do according to all that is written there in; for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success." 

John Meyer penned this song called, "Gravity," and I came across a cover of that song from Clark Beckham and Yebba Smith. And the part of that song that stuck with me is where it says, "Keep me where the light is shining." An old hymn says, "Keep me on Your pathway Lord. I don't want to stumble, I don't want to fall."

Can I be honest? My prayer during most of this whole thing that we're going through has been, "Lord, keep me where the light is shining." With so much distractions from social media, to the news media, and from religious people, I just want to stay in the light. I just want to be found where light is shining bright. Old song says, "Shine on me. Let the light from the lighthouse shine on me." The thing about the lighthouse is the light has to be bright so that the boats in the sea can see where to go. If the light is dim, how can people see? If you're stopped by the police at night, those blue and red lights are bright for you to see that the cops want you to pull over. Some of us have allowed our light go dim and we don't even know it. We're trying to shine it in the midst of the darkness, and people can't even see it.

How can you know where to go when you can't see? It's hard to read a book while it's closed. A flashlight doesn't fulfill its purpose when it's turned off. Song writer said, "Whatever you do, don't let your light go out." Matthew 5:16, "Let your light so shine before men, that they may see your good works, and glorify your Father which is in heaven." If your light is shining, sometimes you don't have to say a word. The reason why this can't just be a Sunday or Wednesday thing is because the people that need to see that light may not even walk in the sanctuary. They may be at the store. They may be at your job. They may be in your neighborhood. When I was a kid we sang a song based on Matthew 5:16. All my cogic kids know what I'm talking about. "Let it shine! Let it shine all over the world. Let it glorify the Lord."

Can I share something? I was watching this video and in it this guy said every where he walks he sees darkness, but somehow he knows there's a light. Keep me where the light is. I couldn't stop the tears from flowing down my face. That was a moment with God that I didn't know I needed. No shout music. No fabrication of what we have turned church into. It was just a simple message. I just want to be where the light is shining bright.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

SAME JESUS BEFORE THE PANDEMIC, HE'S STILL

Hebrews 13:8 Jesus Christ the same yesterday, and today, and for ever.

A commentary says, "In a changing world we can trust our unchanging Lord." What was Jesus to you before quarantine? Was He your healer? Was He your provider? Was He your shelter? Whatever He was to you, He's still that. The 5th and 6th verse of that same chapter in Hebrews in the ESV says, "Keep your life free from the love of money, and be content with what you have, for he has said, 'I will never leave you nor forsake you.' So we can confidently say, 'The Lord is my helper; I will not fear; what can man do to me?'" 

I mentioned this in posts before, Psalms 27:1 "The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the stronghold of my life: of whom shall I be afraid?" 2 Timothy 1:7 in the KJV says, For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind." Same verse in the ESV says, "for God gave us a spirit not of fear but of power and love and self control." Keep your head in the game. This is not the time to let go. Song writer said, "The devil really had me, but Jesus came and grabbed me." He had you and He still.

Psalm 30:11 "Thou has turned for me my mourning into dancing: thou has put off my sackcloth, and girded me with gladness;" (KJV)

Psalm 30:11 "You turned my loud crying into dancing. You removed my clothes of sadness and dressed me with joy." (New International Reader's Version)

Song writer said, "What ever your problem is wave it away. What ever your trouble is wave it away. Give it to Jesus. He can bare them." Jesus said in Matthew 11:28-30 "Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you'll recover your life. I'll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me--watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won't lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you'll learn to live freely and lightly." 

That still applies today. The same love of Jesus that lifted you, is still holding you. He hasn't let go so you don't either. Hold on a little while longer as the song says and "everything will be all right." The name of Jesus still has power. Demons still tremble at the name of Jesus. The same Jesus that you couldn't live without when you first received Him, He's still. Psalms 147:3, "He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds." He still.

The same Jesus that worked it out, is working. The same Jesus that healed, is healing. Be not dismayed, what ever be tide. God will take care of you. He hasn't gone anywhere. He's still there. Old Hymn says, "He was there all the time. He was there all the time. Waiting patiently in line. He was there all the time." Will you let him in? Will you let him stay in? Jesus is still.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson