Monday, July 23, 2007

Reality Chapter 5

The next week, Daniel was at a conference. During the last day of the conference, he was sitting by himself in the cafeteria. He was mimicking typing on a computer with his fingers, while thinking of what he’s been through the night before. What happen the night before is that he was sitting in the back of the car with Jeanette and Thelma, who is extended family. She’s been close to the family for years. Anyway, Jeanette and Thelma got to talking about Rich. Jeanette explains what she’s been going through, and Thelma was shocked. As their conversation was going, Daniel was in the back with tears in his eyes. He couldn’t handle hearing about his mom going through so much. It made him sad. So sad he started tearing up and crying. Jeanette told Daniel not to cry, but he couldn’t help it. He cried all the way to Thelma’s house. Daniel climbed out the back and got in front. Daniel and Jeanette then were heading to Jeanette’s sister’s house because they were staying there to have a place to sleep during the conference. Daniel started crying again. His mom starting singing, “I've gone through the fire/And I've been through the flood/I've been broken into pieces/Seen lightening flashing from above/But through it all I remember/That He love me/And He cares/And He'll never put more on me/Than I can bear.” Those lyrics were at the right moment at the right time. Then Daniel started thinking of a song that goes like, “You don't know my story/All the things that I've been through/You can't feel my pain/What I had to go through to get here/You'll never understand my praise/Don't to figure it out/Because my worship/My worship/Is for real.” Daniel cried himself to sleep that night.

Back to the cafeteria, Daniel was holding back tears still mimicking typing on the computer. It didn’t work out to well, because the tears decided that they were going to come down anyway. He didn’t understand why it was happening. The day was going as good as it can be. He was actually singing in the choir. Maybe that was part of it. Daniel sat in the tenor section of the choir, but he’s a natural baritone. Getting up to tenor was something Daniel couldn’t do, but it didn’t get to him at all. He was getting better until this one young girl came to him and asked, “Are you ok?” That made Daniel cry harder because he knew that he wasn’t. Everything from his dad to his own problems just kept pressuring Daniel like it was his fault.

All this was too much for a 20 year old to go through. It was like the weight Daniel’s been dealing with for the past 20 years wasn’t getting any lighter. He was on the verge of giving up and…

“Daniel, Daniel calm down, ok? Just calm down. Go to the bathroom and wash your face. I’ll get you a drink.” Daniel’s friend Mical said.

Daniel nodded as he walked to the restroom. He got some paper towels and looked in the mirror. He looked so pitiful. What a way to spend the last day of a conference Daniel thought to himself.

After all that crying and stuff, Daniel was drained. He could barely keep his eyes open for the rest of the day. Sinuses were starting to come up too. That was the last thing Daniel needed. He didn’t cry anymore. A few people came up to him and talked with him about it which Daniel really enjoyed. He later typed a blog about it and a few people said that they’re praying. He also got a call by one of his Aunts that was worried. Happiness seemed to be on the horizon.

Friday, July 13, 2007

Reality Chapter 4

Well today’s the day, the wedding that rivals all weddings. Daniel woke up with his stomach bubbling with joy. He looked in the mirror and told himself, "Your day is finally here." He got dressed to go to the cleaners to get his tux. He waiting his whole life for this day, and he’s finally was marrying the girl of his dreams. On his way to the cleaners, he got a call from his best man.

"Yo Daniel, this is it my friend. You ready?"

"I’ve been ready for this my whole life, Kurt."

"That’s my dude. You’re off to the cleaners’ right?"

"Yes sir, I am."

"Ok, man. Come by my hotel room after you get your suit, so we can talk a little."

Daniel hung up the phone as he pulled in the parking lot. The lady at the counter offered her congrats as she gave Daniel his tux. Daniel smiled as he walked off to go on his way to Kurt’s hotel room.

Kurt was staying at the nicest hotel in the city. Daniel came up and Kurt welcomed him with a handshake and a hug. They talked for a little bit, and then Kurt put the bow tie on Daniel. Daniel put the tux on. They then rode to the church together. Daniel’s dad was handling the ceremony, since he was an ordained minister. Rich wasn’t Daniel’s first choice, but he figured it’ll be easier just to go to Rich besides using some outside help.

The ceremony was beginning. Daniel was in his position and Kurt was in his. He looked in the crowd and saw both sides sitting patiently. The scene looked like something out of a Tyler Perry movie. In the ceiling there was…

The organist got on the organ and starting playing while, the bride walked down the isle. She looked so beautiful. She was crying all the way down. Daniel teared up a little as well. Rich asked for tissues for both of them. Jeanette got up to sing a solo. After she finished up, Daniel joined her in a duet. It made the whole room get up and applaud. Then it erupted into a praise session. The anointing of the Lord filled the place so, that the sound of praise was all the music that was needed. It was something that had to be experienced in person to understand.

After it all settled down, Daniel and his bride to be finally said their vials. Rich asked Daniel if he took her to be his awfully married wife, etc etc etc, and Daniel said I do. He asked the bride the same question, then all of the sudden everything stopped. Nobody was breathing or moving. Daniel looked around and wondered what was going on. Even hi future bride to be was just frozen in time. This could not be happening....

…and it wasn’t. Daniel was sleeping the whole time. He woke up in a cold sweat looking around just to see if was in the same old room in the same old bed. Reality had once again set in. He got up to get a bottle of water out of the cabinet. Ginger got up too because she thought that she could get Daniel to put her outside, which is what happened. As Ginger was doing her business, Daniel began to think. What in the world did that dream mean?

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Reality Chapter 3

A few weeks later, Daniel was still in the same state. He tried to live more positive and more actively, but he always found himself spending most of his time on the computer chatting and posting on message boards. It seems like Briana has put Daniel out of her life completely, because she’s plays the mute card every time Daniel even tries to get in contact. So, trying to move on, Daniel just read the bible and watched some Christian videos. Then he came across a video of one of his favorite singers. As excited as Daniel was, what he was about to hear was both shocking and a bit heart breaking.

His favorite singer was a Gospel singer that was also a pastor a church in California. Apparently a rumor was spread that this guy came out the closet. So this video was a response to it. About a minute and a half into the video, the so called man of God started cussing. He was cussing like he’s been doing it for years. This was the same guy that’s probably led a whole lot of people to the Lord. He’s preached in a bunch of conferences and has performed world wide. After all that, he killed his witness.

Daniel was really taken back by this. First the girl he thought was the one stopped talking to him completely, and then his favorite singer was never really a man of faith at all. Things couldn’t possibly get worse.

“Hey Daniel-Son.”

Daniel looked to his right and in came his dad. To say that Daniel and his dad didn’t get along would be too nice. Yes, they had a few things that both of them could talk about, but all in all, Daniel had hatred towards his dad. Daniel loved him, but didn’t like him. Both Daniel and his dad, Rich, are known to be hard headed. One of the things Rich does that made Daniel feel the way is do is often times when Daniel’s mom, Jeanette, would try to converse with Rich, Rich would always turn it into an argument. Before Alisha went to college, she would often tell Daniel, “You know mom was crying again this morning.” This was not shocking but it was always disappointing. He knew Rich was the cause of it.

“Hey pop.”

Ginger was goes crazy every time Rich or Jeanette comes home. She sleeps all day but as soon as someone opens the door, it triggers something in her to go spastic. Ginger always makes the $mistake though to go to the backdoor claiming she wants to go out and do her business. Rich with his short fuse never believes she has to go, so he threatens to shoot her, kick her, etc. In spite of all that, Ginger always goes to him being playful and nice. What Daniel gets confused about is when he play-fights with the dog, Rich is the one saying “Don’t be mean to the dog.”

Well today wasn’t so different. Ginger went to the door ready to go out. Fussing as all get out, Rich let her out. As she would often do, Ginger proved Rich wrong and did something in the back.

“Momma J says: Hey, son!”

“Big d aka Daniel says: Hi, mom.”

“Momma J says: Is your padre home?”

“Big d aka Daniel says: Sadly yes”

“Momma J says: stop it.”

Monday, July 09, 2007

Reality Chapter 2

Daniel woke up about 5 hours late, and checked the fridge to see if he had anything to eat for lunch. The fridge was close to empty and Daniel’s wallet was empty which meant going out to eat was out the window. So Daniel got a soda and turned the TV on to see what was on. When he found something worth tolerating, he turned his mom’s lap top on that was left on the coffee table. As he signed on to the messenger he uses quite often, he got an IM from Briana.

“Elle Es says: Hey D!”

“Big d aka Daniel says: Hey Bri, how are you?”

“Elle Es says: I’m fine, how about you?”

“Big d aka Daniel says: I’m good. It’s been a while.”

“Elle Es says: Yea I know. This job has got me working hard.”

“Big d aka Daniel says: But I’ve seen you on plenty of times, and when I’d try to talk to you, I never get an answer. I was wondering if you were mad at me or something.”

The conversation ended after Daniel said that. She said nothing else, which made Daniel suspicious. Something just didn’t seem right. But in all that, Daniel still felt responsible, so he turned the lap top off and took the dog for a walk. While he would usually take his CD player with him, this time he took nothing but his cell phone and keys. Ginger, his dog, was just excited to get out the house. She was jumping all around as soon as Daniel touched her leash. So as they were walking, Daniel just let the thoughts run through his head on what just happened. Briana was a girl that Daniel thought he could possibly go out with if they ever met. With him living in South Carolina and her living in Texas, it made it hard for that to become possible, but Daniel still thought that it was a possibility. Reality on the other hand made himself known, as it has plenty of times with Daniel.

Daniel felt his cell phone buzz in his pocket and it was his sister, Alisha.

“Hey Dae’!”

“Hey Lish, how are you?”

“I’m just peachy and yourself?”

“I’ve been better, but all and all I’m good.”

“Awwwwwwww, are you okaY?”

“I’ll be ok,” Daniel said after laughing.

Alisha talked about how her summer classes are going in college, which made Daniel feel a whole lot better bout his life, not.

“So, what you are you doing?” Alisha asked.

“Taking your daughter out for a walk. She’s panting like crazy right now.”

“Oh, poor baby! Well, you have a good time, just wanted to check out on you.”

“Ok, Lish, have a good one.”

“You too. Bye!” Alisha said in a high pitched voice.

Daniel returned the favor and hung up. As Daniel and Ginger were heading back home, Daniel tried to shake his situation off by telling himself that he’ll get through it. He thought about a song that says:

“I just can’t give up now
I’ve come to far from where I started from
Nobody told me, that the road will be easy
But I don’t believe, He brought this far to leave me”

Daniel walked in his house, gave the dog water and a treat, and then got on his knees and prayed to God to give him strength to get through.

Friday, July 06, 2007

Reality Chapter 1

Daniel got up this morning and thought that things were going to be different. He thought that he’d actually go outside the house and do something productive. Once again, though, he found himself sitting in front of the computer chatting and posting on message boards. That seemed to be his life ever since he messed up in college. What happened is that Daniel was on probation, meaning that he had to keep his grade point average up to a certain level through out the semester. So at the beginning of the semester Daniel told himself that he was going to study more and do whatever he could to pass. So for the first few weeks he was doing just that. Reading what he had to read, doing his homework, etc. Then all of the sudden, a feeling of laziness came over him. He didn’t do much of nothing. Of course in his mind he was trying as hard as he could, but in reality he wasn’t doing anything productive school wise. Amazingly he passed Physics with a C, but as far as the other classes, well here we are.

“Daniel, what are you going to do? You can’t just sit here. Look, I’m going to see if I can get you something going at my job. I’m not going to promise anything, ok? I just don’t want you sitting around the house all summer, especially if you’re on probation from going to school in the fall. You need something to get you some money in your pocket. You do want to do something besides mowing lawns right?”

I nodded.

“Ok, well like I said I’m going to try to get you something.”

“Thank you, mom.”

Daniel’s mom left the house leaving Daniel sitting at the computer thinking, once again about his life. He looked at his cell phone and saw that he got no calls or text messages which weren’t a real shocker. Daniel hardly got any of those. It wasn’t really a bad thing to him because most of the time he could care less. There was one girl he would think about often and she probably does not give a flying two quarters about him, but he didn’t care. It was just one of many fantasies running through Daniel’s head. He never really had any temptation to deal with, just a whole bunch of fantasies. Not necessarily a good thing but—wait a minute, she just signed on. Daniel’s going to try to IM her.

“Big d aka Daniel says: Hi!”

Maybe he’ll get an answer this time. A few minutes later and there was still no answer. She does have dial up internet so Daniel gave it a little more time. Another few minutes passed by and still no answer, so Daniel exited out the conversation and left it alone. By the way the girl’s name is Briana. She is an up and coming Christian rapper out of Texas. She one of the nicest women Daniel has ever chatted with.

“PraiZe says: hey hey”

“Big d aka Daniel says: hey man”

“PraiZe says: What’s up?”

“Big d aka Daniel says: n2m just chillin, and you?”

“PraiZe says: same, just woke up lol”

Daniel didn’t think it was funny at all but he went along with it.

“Big d aka Daniel says: heh”

The conversation went dead for a few minutes after that. Daniel got bored and turned the computer off. He figured since nobody was chatting, no body would mind. He then went to his room and fell asleep.