Once again coming from the dinner table chair we use for the computer. How y'all doing on this post-christmas day. Hopefully by the time you're reading this, you're done whining to your parents about what you didn't get or you got something you don't like. Two words....GROW UP. I know i know, easier said than done for some of y'all, because some of us don't mature as we get older. Yeah, I'm talking to you, go ahead and get mad with your ignorant, no comment back self.

Speaking of MySpace, when you say you're going to return the favor, here's a bit of advice---RETURN THE FAVOR. Bunch of little heffas, i know you just say that to play with our minds. See some of us say we don't care about comments, but deep down in side, we want to see that new messages, new comments, or what not. We just trying to sound cool saying, "I don't care about no comments, man. Screw them dang comments." aka "Please, oh PLEEEEEASE comment my stuff. I'll be your friend!" Remember that one as a kid, when you tried to get out of trouble? "I'll be your friend. No don't tell on me. Ok fine, I'm not your friend anymore. I don't want to talk again forever, ever, ever, ever, ever!" Five seconds later... "Ever!" The next day comes by and you're at the door, "Can she come outside and play?" We were some two-faced people as kids. Some of us ain't changed. For intance: "lol. That's so funny. HHA!" aka "That sucked horribly. Go kill yourself." Just tell me the truth, come to me correct.

Have every realized how ugly you really are by looking at the other sex's picture? I mean you be like, "I'll never have a girl like that. I'm too ugly." or "I'm too fat.", and so forth. It's like rap music, they're looking for a TuPac or a Lil Wayne, and you're G-Unit or Fat Joe. Yes I said it. Or rock music, when they're looking for the rock of the 1990's, and except they get the stuff they put out now. Yes I said it. Or music in general they're looking for good music, and you country. Yes I said it!

Big d, OUT!!!

Have you ever held anything in so long that it gets to you in the worst way? Like you get fussed at one time, or if someone just tells you that you did anything, it triggers that thing? I'm sorry. I know I haven't been the easiest guy to know around here, rather it be Facebook, MySpace, Big Dusty and PraiZe's Board, KJ Board, or where ever. Things inside of me, bad things, decided to break me down just a few minutes ago. So now I say I've cried this year, huh? I'm not as tough as I preceive to be, sorry for the dissappointment. Sorry for admiting that I do have a heart. Maybe that's why I'm single. I was just laying in bed and tears just started coming down. I started apologizing to the dog. Then I came out to get some tissue and got caught by my mom and sister. I didn't want to sit down and talk cause I just knew I would break down some more. Sure 'nough, it happened. It was like I couldn't control it. The devil was just telling my mind how worthless I am. Reminding me that I'm 19 years old and still living at home. That I have no job. That I have no girl in my life. That I have no idea of what to do with my life. The word worthless came up over and over. I couldn't take it. Mom told me that I'm special. That I'm one of softest hearts. Alisha, my sister, kept telling me that God has something for me in my life. It's been rough for me. I've ticked people off. I've continually gave advice I haven't took myself. I've said I was going to pray for people, which i haven't. I've felt like I've been jumped on a lot.

I need y'all to do something for me. Nothing big or major, just a small favor. Say a small prayer for me. Daniel. Not Big d, Big Dusty, Big Dizzle...but the little boy inside, Daniel.

Thank you.

Back again, tired as ever. I don't know how it is, but I get enough sleep, yet i still be tired all the time. I just don't understand it. Maybe I need to be put in a coma or something so i can get all the sleep i need, idk.

Stacy, i don't know what makes you think i hate you. I really don't hate anybody. Somethings people do bother me, but that's everybody. Everybody got there flaws. I know I do. Everybody that went to school with me through the years know I got my flaws. That's no reason to hate anybody. If you hate somebody for what they did 5 years ago, just put your head in acid and do us all a favor. I mean, that's just stupid, to hold a grudge over little things, know what i mean?

Eddie Murphy is going to be on Inside The Actors Studio tomorrow, I can't friggin wait for that. I've been a fan of Eddie for a while now. I guess I can say most of my life. The man is a living genius, plain and simple. His classic stuff like Trading Places, Coming to America, Beverly Hills Cop I and II, 48 Hours and Another 48 Hours, Nutty Professor, Life...stuff that are just great. Of course he has his bad ones like Showtime, Pluto Nash, Best Defense, Beverly Hills Cop III, and some more. May I say that I actually liked Golden Child. It's one of my all time favorites, I don't care what you say.

I'm come to that point my in my life now where I got to start speaking stuff into existence. Almost like what some business partners of mine where trying to teach me and other people to speak postive. I know that I will have girlfriend, that I will get married one day, and that I will have a successful life. I know that I will have some haters that will try to bring me down with their bootleg crap that they call a life. I just know that God will provide, if only I trust in Him. Bottom line.

Closing out, I want to wish everyone reading this a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. I hope and pray 2007 is the best year of your lives mentally, physically, and spirtually. Y'all be good.

Big d

First off I'd like to say hi to all the new readers I got from Facebook. I hope y'all enjoy. I only got about 10 minutes to type this thing. I'm going to a basketball game with my sister. Hopefully it'll be worth the $5 she's spending. I can't believe what a hit my story is becoming. I mean 2 people said they had tears while reading. That blew me away. Most of my old stories were so stupid, I think people couldn't help but laugh. I think this story is doing well because I'm really using real events in it. I've never really wrote like i have in this story. I guess watching all these movies finally paid off for something. I learned how to make a good story. Wrestling, believe or not, is a good help too. The storyline behind the matches is sometimes dramatic in a way. It's pretty cool.

As you could tell from the first sentence I got a Facebook now. How lame is my life, huh? I got MySpace, Facebook, the Big Dusty and PraiZe's board. All I need is my butt stapled to the chair and I'll be set. I mean all that just basically proves that life I don't have. It amazes me how many people prefer Facebook over MySpace. Why don't you Facebook people that think that, tell my why you prefer it that way, I'd like to know.

Well I got one more exam to fail tommorrow. Mom's going to be thrilled to hear that one. I messed up a lot this semester. I know I've said that over and over but it's true. What can I say it's the true.

Aight y'all, I hope you enjoyed the read. Send feedback and I'll get back at ya. You know I will.

Let go and let God!

Big d

Once again, from under the black du-rag. (sorry J.R.)

It's been quite interesting lately. Ok not really, I'm just trying to stir up the drama. :D Did it work? I didn't think so. I paid to renew my business ownership. Now to actually do something with it...heh. Every time I tend to chat with Melissa, a girl i know in Illinois, she always asks me how my girl-hunting is going. Well I know that one girl has been on my mind a lot lately. I've known of her for a few months, but never thought we would ever chat or anything. One day out the blue she sent me a friend request. I was shocked. I mean this was like the Bucs actually winning a football game, it was surprising. (Sorry fellow Bucs fans but we suck this season, what can I say) I've learned from past experience, as some of y'all may know, that if you rush into something, it has a tendency of hurting you. So I'm not doing anything. Life is something else though. There's so much drama in this house. MTV would kill for a storyline like this. Of course we all know the drama Blog 4 started. Just want to say publicly that if I'm going to apologize for anything is that she was the victim. But as far as me speaking my mind, well...what's done is done.

For a little advice for those going through. Weather is spiritual or what not. Give up. That's right, give up. Realize that you can't do it on your own and give up. (Of course this is when y'all run to your mommys and daddys saying I said such and such without reading on. Read on...) Give up, and give it all to God. As my brother from another mother on my cousin's daddy's side, Jodah, told me, "Let go and Let God, you once told me that." That's exactly what you have to do when the problems get too hard for you to bear. Let go, and let God work. That's our problem we never let go. We let God but we never let go. That's why you never see improvement in your situations right there. You hear people say it all the time, "Give to Jesus and he works it out!" But you have to do your part, and let go of the situation. We have to do our part. If we say that it's in God's hands and we'll still walking around with our bottom lips so low that is dragging on the floor, don't expect change to come. Get it? Got it? Awesome...

Be real, my peoples...I'm OUT!!!

Big d

11/25/06

Tired, boredom, and lack of self esteem leads to blogs like this. Last night I got a whole board ticked off at me. (Go Dusty!!! Right?) Here's what happened. A friend of mine, Kurt, told me that this girl was doing an audio version of this song she wrote. Kurt and I always make fun of her audio cause she's so plain during her songs. No emotion at all. I'm serious, the beat will be banging and the vocal will be just---bleh. Anyway, i gathered up the idea in my head to tell her this through another account I made on the board. I logged on that name and told her that I would rather listen to a K-Fed album than listen to another one of her audios. Now deep inside i really didn't want to do it cause she's was a good friend, and I was secretly attracted to her. Give or take I did it and it stirred up more drama than a daytime soap-opra. 

 People figured out it was me then started calling me retard and said that I lost the respect of them...la di freaking da. I'm already depressed with my life already...this just added more layers. I started feeling real bad about it so I logged on my regular name and typed and apology to the whole forum. Which said: "Kj Board family... I know what I did is not going to be easy to forgive. I'm sorry. I'm a nice guy at heart, but sometimes i become such a jerk. Heck maybe I am a jerk. Maybe I'm worthless. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I---you'll never hear from me again. I hate life. I hate me---" 

 If this is the first blog you've ever read by me I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are welcome. Peace. Love all! . 

 My name is Big d.

(edited by Daniel Richerson, 4/28/2021)

FIRST BLOG!

Never let an opprunity pass you by. I followed the crowd all my life. The only reason I started cussing, is because friends did. Only reason I started a message board is cause other people did. Thinking about life, mine could've been so much better if I would've took advantage of what I had. Just by actually talking to people, I'd prolly be better now. If I had been myself all my life instead of following the crowd, I'd be better off now. I've been tender-hearted all my whole life. Example, 6th grade I wrote a letter to 2 girls. Not knowing any better, I told them how hot I thought they were. Basically I was naive. Jordan hasn't talked to me since. People kept asking me if I liked one of the girls or not. I'd keep my head down and not answer because I was to embarrassed. It's like I wanted my life to be as dramatic as possible. 'ey, it worked!! 

 I know I mentioned this before, but from the 5th grade to 9th grade I had a crush on another girl. All those years, and I never told her once. Oh I wrote notes and notes, and never gave her one. 8th grade I wrote a book entitled The Life of Dusty. This girl was the love interest. The book was perverted to be honest with ya, but people loved it. This girl wasn't supposed to read it. With my luck though, the book was passed around the whole school and ended up in her fingers. I was such an idiot. I was sitting in homeroom with a note. I think my friend Je'sus wrote it for me to give to a girl, mainly to that girl. 2 girls sitting in front of me, who were attractive by the way, asked me who it was for. I think they knew already, but they just wanted me to say it. One of them asked if it was one of them. I don't remember giving a straight answer to anything. I was such a punk. I guess nothing much as changed. Imagine if I had to guts to actually give one of the girls the note...good God! 

 All my years in school, I don't think I had a saved friend. Not one. I mean they were saved for a minute, but within the next month they were cussing like a salior. Most of the saved friends I have now are online. If I find a soul mate at Greenville Tech, I'll be shocked. It would be a miracle. All of the girls I run into either smoke, cuss, screw anything that walks, or is a dike--has a lick-her license if you know what i mean. I'm like the Clark Sisters, I'm looking for a miracle. I hope it happens soon. I'm still scared to be myself outside of my house. The internet is just another mask for me. That's all it is. It's another way I can put on a mask and be another person. 

 To Jo: Thanks for being a friend to me. Through the past months, you've been one of the nicest people I've ever met online. I thank you for that. To Greg Mims: From the first day we met on the bus in 6th grade, we've been cool. I don't think we ever had a dull moment. During my last years at Lakecrest, you actually got me out the house. Thanks for being my friend. To PraiZe: You keep living for God, man. Continue to seek Him the more. You have no idea what God has in store for you. Other people may talk about you like a dog, but don't let it get to you. You be you always. Don't front for anybody. From the KJ Board to now, we've been tight. God bless you. To Ben (Pedro): What can I say? It seems like we've known each other longer than we actually have. Remember when we talked about being roommates? or that movie we talking about doing? Heh, we had some great times, huh? I hope we have many more man. 

 If this is the first blog you've ever read by me, then I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all for reading. Keep praying for me. Much love. To my future wife out there, whoever you are, I'm praying for you. 

Big d