So here's the scoop. I have not been sleeping well at all for the past I say week....maybe a little more than that. I don't know why. I've been going to bed at a decent hour, but for some reason or another I can't fall asleep. Before this thought enters your head let me say that the coffee machine is broke. So if you're even considering that thought, zip it, lock it, and put it in your pocket.
Also, it's going on 8 months, not 10 (you know who you are), since I've had a job. It has not been plesant either. It's been frustrating. Sometimes I feel I'm going to break. Honestly I feel useless without money in my pocket. And when I'm supposed to have money in my pocket I get screwed out of it. It's like a down hill roller coaster with no up hill in sight. And the pressure that I and others have put on me is becoming unbearable. Its like when I was working, and I got hungry, I could eat. Grocery shopping without a budget. I wasn't loaded but I was comfortable. This sudden change of circumstances really sucks to be honest with you.
I don't show that I'm grateful for things, but I really am. I'm grateful to have a bed to sleep in and food to eat. I'm thankful for a drivers liscense and a car to drive for the time being. And I'm am searching for a job contrary to what some people may think. I know I have a rep of being lazy. And when I make positive steps, I still get razzed about what I'm not doing. I'm starting to learn and figure out that I can't live to please people. I can't and will not please everyone. I got to leave to please Jesus. If I don't please you, so be it. Just cause I'm not doing things your way doesn't mean I'm wrong.
Things are going to be get better. There are some things that I got to work on personally. Just continue to pray for me.
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