WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?

As I'm typing this I just turned 31. Some told me that I wasn't supposed to make 30. Some said I'm not going to make it past the next couple of years. I'm single. I really don't know what to do in that department, but that's not what this blog is about. I work at as a cook as a fast food restaurant. My coworkers consist of mostly teenagers. I hear them talking about what do they want to do after high school because some of them are about to graduate. They talk about other things as well...moving on.

So I feel like I'm ready to move on from where I'm working now. I find myself getting more angry at little things. I'm getting bored. I'm feeling like I need more. I'm feeling like I need to do more. I'm feeling like there is more for me to do. One of my problem is, is that I don't know what that is. I don't know what I want to do. Some people know what they want to do at 12. I'm 31 one, and I find that question, "What do you want to do?" is one of the hardest questions I've ever been asked.

When I went to college after high school, I picked a major that I thought was something, but I soon realized that I didn't pick the right major for me. Besides picking a different major, I just left because I didn't know what I wanted to do. I was 19 or 20 at the time. So we're talking 11 years or so of trying to figure this out. Something something something, and now I'm working at a fast food restaurant. I've heard it said that when you turn 30, that's when the "light" turns on. I think for me it was 31.

Recently I was having a conversation with a guy and he plainly asked me, "What do you want to do?" Per usual, I didn't have a solid answer. I mentioned that I like to write. It is well known I liked to write blogs such as this. Thanks for reading by the way. I've always wanted to write a book. Like a novel. I've always written short stories since I can remember. I feel that as soon as I started using Microsoft Word for the first time, that's when I really started typing short stories that I would never finish. I remember in Middle School, I would continuously print out new chapters of a story and it would end up going around the school. At the time I was voted something like best author or something like that. I do remember it had something to do with writing.

I've often had dreams of singing on a big stage. I've lead songs at church and I remember dreaming that I would sing with the artists that originally sang the songs I led at church. I see singers sing on Instagram all the time. When it comes to singing on camera or singing out outside of church, I choke. Nothing comes out. I think singing and music at work. It's usually what's gets me through a shift by the night, but I try my best not let a single note come out my mouth because of fear. Even when I lead songs now, I tend to sing under the key I'm supposed to sing on because of, you guessed it, fear.

"What do you want to do?" Good question. I hope to figure it out one day. It's not as if I don't have dreams. I just don't know how to pursue what I think and dream about. And when I do hear about ways to go through a door, I become fearful. Have you heard that old saying, "fear of the unknown" ? #Storyofmylife Even my coworkers, the young coworkers, that I work with, some of them can see that I'm not satisfied with the job. It's as if they know I don't want to be there for the long term. It's a shame that all those years I heard, "You got to do what you have to do, until you can do what you want to to do?" that it took me too long to get that.

So again the question is, "What do you want to do?" Sounds cliche, but I definitely want to be the best Daniel that I can be. The best  Daniel that I'm supposed to be. I'm just trying to figure that out.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

FIGHT YOURSELF!!

Cue We Praise You by The McClurkin Project. My sister dancing to this song is something to see by the way. Absolutely hilarious. To the folks that love the blogs and tell me, y’all the reason I keep this going. With all that being said…

Flesh. Your flesh. Your flesh is trouble. The desires of one human body can be straight disgusting. At times your flesh desires what’s it’s been fed over the years, while at the same time you’re seeking to change your ways. So what do we do? We pray to God to kill our flesh. We pray to God to kill our flesh, then not 2 minutes later, we’re doing what we’re trying to kill. Kind of kills the purpose doesn’t it? Can’t kill the flesh feeding it the filth it desires. It’s like trying to lose weight. You want to lose weight, yet you’re sitting down watching sports with a box of Little Debbie snacks. If you want to change, you got to be willing to do the work, and here’s a news flash: God ain’t going to do the work for you.

That’s one problem we have. When it comes to working, we don’t want to do it. So we pray to God will just take it away, while in the back of our heads, we’re already planning to do what we’re trying to kill. God is willing to help, but we got to do the work. We got to fight. In a sense, we got to fight ourselves. You’ve been stuck in a habit for over ten years, safe to say your flesh is not going to give up so easy. Relapse comes from people who don’t want to fight. We fall. We get step backs. Why? It’s either we don’t want to fight or you figure it’s ok to let your flesh enjoy some junk food every once in a while. So we treat Christian living like a diet. You know on diets, they tell you, it’s ok to have a cheat day. We give ourselves cheat days living this life.

Life is not a food diet people. Life is you’re either all in or not. Luke 16:13 in the Amplified Version says,  “No servant is able to serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will stand by and be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve God and mammon (riches, or anything in which you trust and on which you rely).”  You’re either all for God, or you’re not. Then the question comes, what are we all in for? What are we dedicated to? What do we dedicate our lives to? It doesn’t even have to be about Christian living. It can be if you’re trying to lose weight. Or you’re trying to look for a job. Or you’re just trying to chase your dream. Are you dedicated to doing it? Or are you going half way expecting to all come together. That’s not how it works. You got to be willing to fight.

You can’t let you beat you, if you get me. That’s where fasting comes in. Fasting is more than just not eating. It’s decreasing the flesh so you can enhance the spirit man. Am I right or wrong? So why don’t fasting work? Maybe it does work. Maybe we’re not fasting, we’re just not eating. Anybody cannot eat, and I like to call that dieting. Fasting is not a diet, yet some of us treat it as such. Fasting is war against your flesh.

Getting back to killing your flesh. Now when I say that, I’m not saying kill yourself. I’m literally saying, that you let God take over. Dedicate your body to God and not to its desires. Like before I go up to sing in church, I pray for God to kill my flesh, because I want to be used to minister to the people. People may look at me crazy, probably because I’m actually singing something different and not the same old---never mind, either way, the point is, I’m not singing for people. I’m singing for God, and allowing God to use me to minister to the folk. The problem is, we as a people worry about the song to sing and not the song that will minister. We as the congregation worry about what the song is, and not what the song is saying. Killing the flesh is not just for the guy up with the mic. It’s for you too. Your spiritual ears got to be open to hear what God saying. If we don’t allow God to enter in, we hear the word on Sunday and Wednesday, then go back home go in our secret closet not to pray, but to entertain that what we’re trying to kill.

The answer to break the habit is right in front of our face. The answer to chase that dream is right in front of our face. The answer to get that job is right in front of our face. The answer to lose weight is right in front of our face. We got to fight. We got to deny. We got to repent. Some of us apologize, but we don’t repent.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson aka Big Dusty
Follow me on Twitter @Big_Dusty
Facebook.com/bigdusty

Confidence

Ok, so this past Sunday at church, or for you dated readers 1/24/10, the first lady, got me up to the front to sing "How Great is Our God" lightly during altar call. For one let me say, that I hate singing lightly. To me, if I got to sing light, I might as well hum. Anyway, I started out singing, and I didn't realize the mic was off. So I turned the mic on, and started singing, and I saw expressions change. I got through it, and that was that. But for some reason, when mom and I headed to the car to go home, my mood changed for the worse. I felt like my joy was gone away just that quick. At first I thought it was that I was rubbing people the wrong way. Which is something I never want to do. I understand that not all people is gonna like me, but I don't want to purposely give them a reason. Talked with mom and tears were shed. (Side Note: BTW, if anybody on Earth has the spirit of discernment, it's a true mother. For some odd reason, they always see through you.)Later that night, I was watching, don't judge me, Alvin and The Chipmunks. As they were singing, I realized what my problem was. It wasn't the fact that I was worried about rubbing people the wrong way, although that didn't help. It was the fact that I've never really been confident in my voice. I'm confident I can play drums, and write like this, but singing is something I just can't get confident in.

Deuteronomy 31:8 say, "And the LORD, he it is that doth go before thee; he will be with thee, he will not fail thee, neither forsake thee: fear not, neither be dismayed." Another word for dismayed is discouraged. With the Lord with me, I should've been confident in the gift He gave me in the first place. Doubt is a heck of a drug.

Psalm 73:26 says, "My flesh and my heart faileth: but God is the strength of my heart, and my portion for ever." This is the problem of singing to the crowd and not singing to God. You forget that God is the strength that gave you your voice in the first place, so you choke and can't figure out why.

Philippians 4:13 says, "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me." What's sad? Most of us know that verse by heart, but don't take time to apply it and believe it. We don't think about this while we feel under pressure.

In Matthew 11:28-30, Jesus said, "Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light." Now we had just talked about that in Sunday School that morning. Crazy how we read the Bible, but don't apply it. (Preach Daniel)

If you read Philippians 4:13 in the CEV, it says, "Christ gives me strength to face anything." It is written in the Bible that nothing is to hard for God. I have to accept the fact that God gave me this voice that I have. You have to accept God gave you your gift, and he also provides you with strength to face any negative situation you might be in. Now I said that I felt like my joy was taken out. You let the devil steal your joy, you feel weak. That's why the song says, "Don't let the devil steal your joy. Joy in the Lord." Notice I said let. All the power the devil has, you give it him. Simple is that. Jesus said that all power is given unto him. So the devil has no power, unless you give him some over you.

1 John 3:20-21 say, "For if our heart condemn us, God is greater than our heart, and knoweth all things. Beloved, if our heart condemn us not, then have we confidence toward God." That says it all right there. God is greater than our problems. He's greater than our feelings or heart. When they say, take it to the Lord and leave it there, they know that God is greater than the it. Put your confidence or full trust in God, and He'll take care of you. Some how or another, I forgot that.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

4/24/09 Podcast

http://soundclick.com/share?songid=7544536

Prayer request for Yungtown, singing on Youtube?, I'm back on messageboards? All that and a little bit of singing, not my best, and more! Enjoy! Be free to advertise...


:D

Sorry it took so long

Starting off this blog with a song that was ringing in me after Sunday morning service at the church, "No Weapon" by Fred Hammond. The song is based from Isaiah 54:17 (KIV) which says, "No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the LORD, and their righteousness is of me, saith the LORD." Powerful verse, and powerful song. So anyway, sorry for the long break between blogs. It's hard coming up with subjects to talk about when you're not a big news watcher. It's hard for me to watch CNN, Fox News, etc because of all the hyprocrisy that goes on. I can't stand that stuff. Either way, let's see if I can figure out somethin for this blog.

"Rain On Me" by Bryon Cage is playing now. Another good song. So most of you that are reading have seen the new pic that I've posted. It's my default MySpace (where this is originally being typed) and FaceBook. I'm surprised it didn't get any comments. I'm guessing it proves Proverbs 18:24a which says, "A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly." It the midst of looking for that verse, "I Honor You" by Bishop T.D. Jakes started playing.

I'm drawing a blank people. I literally can't think of anything else to write about. To the people reading on Live Video, let me come clean. You know those lurkers that never come in and chat? hehe, sorry! I'll try to do better the next time.

"You Can" by Dorinda Clark-Cole is playing now. Ah, now I got something. The track I'm listening to now is produced by J. Moss, who is Dorinda's cousin. J. Moss is an excellent producer. He can also sing, but he's an overrunner. What I mean by that is that he seems to think, the more he runs, the more love he gets from his audience. Example? Well I'm glad you asked. His song, "Praise On The Inside" is an awesome track. Yesterday in the morning, Sunday morning, I was watching Gospel Music Channel, and low and behold J. Moss came on with a live performance of "Praise On The Inside." I changed the channel within 30 seconds because the runs were so irritating. Now don't get me wrong. I love runs. The late Rev. James Moore was the king of them, but if you feel that your voice is not secure enough to sing without runs, then how in the world did you get a record deal? That's exactly why I'll never own a Rance Allen CD. FYI, if you don't know what I mean by runs or running in a song, it means...well i don't know the webster's definition.

In the midst of trying to find a definiton a song has played and a song is playing. The song that played was "On Time God" by Dottie Peoples. The song playing now is "Perfect Peace" by Sammy Young. Now "This Is The Day" by Fred Hammond is playing. Before I another song sneaks up on me, Dad just came back home from work and I got the new WWE Magazine. So, I'm going to get to reading that. Hope you enjoyed the blog. Hopefully I said something that made sense.

Be blessed,

Daniel

Depressed and 19

I'm 19. I live at home. I got saved last year in January. I firmly believe that if you let crap enter your mind, crap will come out. I find myself depressed over little stuff. Look under my eyes, you can tell that I don't get much sleep. My home is not the best, but it's shelter. My father is not the best, but at least he's around to talk to. Being fat lowers my self-esteem a whole lot. I've said before that people don't look at the personality. I realize that everyday, and it is depressing. I'm at a community college while my little sister is going to Clemson. That thought pops in my mind all the time. My mom and sister keep telling me that I'm not ugly. That the right girl will come along. Looking in the mirror, I have a hard time believing that. 

I've always been the "black sheep" of my friends. I never really felt like I was "in." I felt more like the safe guy meaning that they knew I was there, but I didn't really matter. Want to know why I make video and voice blogs? To get accepted. To try to get people to like me. Does my sister have this problem? Nope. Did my brother have this problem? Probably not. So, I guess, I'm the black sheep in my family. I don't know if people feel sorry for me or not. Some where inside of me, I want people to feel sorry for me. Just thinking about it, I spent most of my childhood crying. I would come home and take it out on my little sister and mouth off to my parents. I was a true definition of a follower. I play drums, but I definitely ain't the best. The only reason I get to play at church cause there's no one else there. That's the bottom line. I go to District Choir rehearsal and I never want to play cause I know I suck. I let the Supertindent's son have at it cause I know I would ruin the whole thing. Every time I play for the District or a large crowd, I choke. I don't know why I just lose what little touch I have. 

Think I'm being to hard on myself? Ok then, how bout this. One day I was at a State Youth Choir rehearsal, and the drummer that was playing had to leave. He gave me the sticks and got on the drums. I did aight. Definite not state youth material by any means. The song I filled in for was a slow song. Which was wanting to be played a little faster so the choir could get it, but I just could push myself to do it. The piano player got on me about it and I used some wacked-out excuse about this is the first time I've really played with musicians. Which is not all together true. So after that song was over, they went to an upbeat song that I didn't know to save my life. After about 5 seconds the director stopped the song and said, and I quote "I need a drummer." I handed the sticks to another brotha that was up there and he straight up killed it. the director then said, and I quote, "We got 2 drummers." I was, once again, the odd ball out. Nobody even cared or even noticed but me. 

Of course Dad tried to build me up saying I did a good job and all that. None of my so called friends could see behind the smile sometimes. Most of the time you would find me sitting or standing by myself. I had the mindset where if people didn't bother me, I didn't bother them. Still do that now as a matter of fact. I stand outside waiting on whoever's picking me up with my headphones, by myself. I have no one at Tech I can truely call friend. It's the honest truth. I don't. I don't know why I'm typing all this. Prolly because this is the only way I can make myself heard. People never really listen to you when they judge you before hand. Anybody else has ever been through that? So that's why I type these blogs. It's my voice. My voice to the people, so to speak. 

I want to be accepted for who I am. I want to be more "outgoing" so to speak. I would love to be my true self out in public and take this depressed mask off. I want to sing in public and not sound shaky. I want to sing in public and let people know what I can do. I want people to know that I can do things. I do have a soft heart and I am sensitive. Sue me. That's just who I am. Want to know why I truly grew my hair out? Cause people actually liked me. I was, even for a little bit, accepted. The reason I wore my hair out all the time is because for a brief time, I was popular. It's the God's honest truth. I hate being the loser you know? I really do. Don't feel sorry for me. I don't deserve it. I'm a complete jerk. Heh...well dang. I'm a jerk. It's a trip ain't it? You think you know me...