11/25/06

Tired, boredom, and lack of self esteem leads to blogs like this. Last night I got a whole board ticked off at me. (Go Dusty!!! Right?) Here's what happened. A friend of mine, Kurt, told me that this girl was doing an audio version of this song she wrote. Kurt and I always make fun of her audio cause she's so plain during her songs. No emotion at all. I'm serious, the beat will be banging and the vocal will be just---bleh. Anyway, i gathered up the idea in my head to tell her this through another account I made on the board. I logged on that name and told her that I would rather listen to a K-Fed album than listen to another one of her audios. Now deep inside i really didn't want to do it cause she's was a good friend, and I was secretly attracted to her. Give or take I did it and it stirred up more drama than a daytime soap-opra. 

 People figured out it was me then started calling me retard and said that I lost the respect of them...la di freaking da. I'm already depressed with my life already...this just added more layers. I started feeling real bad about it so I logged on my regular name and typed and apology to the whole forum. Which said: "Kj Board family... I know what I did is not going to be easy to forgive. I'm sorry. I'm a nice guy at heart, but sometimes i become such a jerk. Heck maybe I am a jerk. Maybe I'm worthless. Maybe I'm stupid. Maybe I---you'll never hear from me again. I hate life. I hate me---" 

 If this is the first blog you've ever read by me I hope you enjoyed it. Comments are welcome. Peace. Love all! . 

 My name is Big d.

(edited by Daniel Richerson, 4/28/2021)