THE QUESTION FOR THIS PIECE IS WHY?

I was asked a question that had and still has my mind working. The question was, "Why are we depressed?" One thing I haven't really thought about. I've been writing on my mental health for years but never really wrote about the why. I can go back as when I was a kid and I would bite my hand when I got mad. That lasted for years. It literally left a spot on my right hand knuckle. I can remember when I was going for finical aid at Greenville Tech, and the lady saw my hand, and the look on her face was one of shock and I would imagine she was a bit disturbed.

You got to remember now the talk of mental health awareness was not even a conversation then. So me biting my hand was just me "showing out" and not a sign of self harm.

Why are we depressed? Could be a lot of things. Could be that there's a hole in our life that we can't seem to fill. I know with me it's a lot of reasons. Never had closure with my dad. Dad passed on in January, and I'm still having a hard time. It was weird not receiving a gift card from him on my birthday. It was weird not getting a phone call from him while in the hospital. The previous two times I was in the hospital, he would call just about every day. To not get a text rom him on Thanksgiving, and not receiving a text from him on Christmas it's just not going to feel right. My heart grieves for those who have lost any parent.

Why are we depressed? Could be impatience. Patience is a virtue, right? We're waiting for relationships. We're waiting for money. We're waiting for all these things, but either they're not coming quick enough or we're not looking. The depression could be solvable if we learn the value of waiting. With impatience comes doubt. Doubt that the things we're looking for will come. Doubt will maybe blind us to what's literally right under our nose so to speak because we're looking for the answer in certain way. Remember in the Bible they were looking for Jesus to show up in a spectacular fashion. He showed up on a donkey. So do you really want what you're looking for or do you want what you're looking for to show up how you want it? We say, "He may not come when you want him, but He'll show up on time." Maybe He has shown up already, but doubt has blinded us to such a depression that we can't even see that the answer is here already.

Why are we depressed? Lonely. Like Al Green said, "I'm so tired of being alone. I'm so tired on my own." We want to have that person that we can talk to. We want to have that person that will understand what we deal with but still want to have a relationship with us. We just want to be understood in a world that chooses not to understand mental health. A lot of us go to church with leaders who choose not to understand that high anxiety that we deal with so we go home and feel alone. We've come such a long way with the conversation of mental health, but I feel that we still have a long way to go. I can remember at a leadership meeting and I was sitting with my dad in the back. One of the leaders walked by dad and said, "We're not discussing the real issues." I'm not saying that was mental health related, but we as a whole have been running from the real issues that have to be discussed, and wonder why we can't move forward in anything. Naturally or spiritually.

Why are we depressed? I don't know, and that's ok.

That's all I have for this. If you've read this far, please leave your thoughts and comments. I'm still in therapy and anti-depressants. I still have my emotional break downs here and there, but I'm doing much better. I'm taking all my medicines like I'm supposed to. I'm doing my best with the new food plan, but it's not easy. I appreciate all that really love and really care. Peace. Love.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson
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