Keep Going

 Before I go in on this blog, if you are tired of mental health awareness, if you roll your eyes at me talking about the issues I live with everyday….sorry not sorry. 

The reason I don’t stop blogging about mental health is because one many are still suffering and looking for answers, and when they can’t find anything, they give up. It’s not a coincidence that the three words that have been used the past year and a half have been, “Don’t Give Up.” Why because as the song writer said, “After while, it’ll all be over. After while the sun will shine. After while dark clouds will pass over. And we’ll shout hallelujah after while.” I remember a message that was preached where the minister talked about, “The Importance of After while.” The importance of not stopping before you hit the finish line. Your legs may be getting sore. You may be short of breath. Keep going. That’s a message for me as well. Keep going.

Since I started this new job, I’ve had triggering moments that have caused me to want to throw in the towel. Moments where I had to literally tell myself to don’t cry. Keep going. Get the work done. Do the job. Fortunately, there have been some people that understand and help keep my head on right, but of course they’re people who could care less. Reminds me of other establishments. I’m not looking to be babied or anything. I just want people to understand I may react differently because of high anxiety issues. Oops I said it, but if I mess up, tell me. If I’m doing something wrong, let me know, show me how to do it, and I promise I’ll do my best not to make the same mistake again. 

If it wasn’t for my love for music, I probably would’ve thrown the towel. It’s the music in my head and heart that keeps me going during some shifts. Sometimes it’s the old and new (oops) gospel songs that minister to me at the time, and sometimes it’s secular songs (oops) that keep me pumped. Yeah, this blog may cost me with some people.

I mentioned two professional wrestlers in the last post who put out a vibe of suicide in videos that were posted online. One of which was the late Shannon Claire Spruill, also known to the wrestling community as Daffney. I didn’t watch her IG Live but I’ve heard a piece of it where she mentioned while in tears that she was alone. After the live went public I saw that a lot of people tried to reach out but didn’t get an answer. Possibly it was too late, which brings the point where if someone comes across your heart, reach out. Your phone call may just save a life. Shannon felt alone not knowing that she had a community that loved her. Her passing hit me hard because there were plenty of times where I felt alone in this place I live and tears began to flow. People say, “Why didn’t’ you call me?” People say, “If you don’t check on people, don’t expect people to check on you.” I believe the phrase is called “hog wash” or “malarkey” or “bushwa.” Imagine if God did us that way. We don’t pray to God like we should, but how many times has God came to your rescue when you didn’t know how to ask for help? It does my heart good when I get a text by someone saying that I was on their mind. 

I shared a post on my timeline titled, “Introverts before they make a phone call,” didn’t quite track, but that’s how it is for me. I was told that it was a fear of rejection. I’m not denying that.  So, to those that wonder why I don’t reach out, it may not be you per say. It’s a battle just about every time I use my phone as a phone. If you don’t buy that, it’s the truth. I have no reason to lie. Back to the Daffney situation, that led to other wrestlers to be open about their own mental health. I no longer watch WWE, but a stable known as, The New Day, put out a podcast on mental health that I listened to. One of the members of the stable Big E began sharing his story. I didn’t feel like crying that day, but I immediately started thinking about that young man in the dining area of a convention crying at the table while people were walking by more worried about other things than a young man typing imaginary things on the table crying his eyes out. I can’t remember what triggered that emotion, I just remember that feeling of loneliness. If I remember right, it was a youth day of some sort. I remember that a couple of people stopped and talked to me. One being a young man who’s name I never got, but he actually had a conversation with me which helped me snap out of it. Why do Levites and priests continue to walk by the guy laying on the street, more worried about the next meeting or gig? Thank God for the “good Samaritans” out there.  How many people have we walked by with our proverbial nose in the air thinking that they had it coming not willing to get to the bottom of the issue?

How long are we going to say that folks need Jesus and not show Jesus? How long are we going to say that folks need love and not show love? 

I’m finished. If you read this long, I hope you got something out it. I ask that you continue to pray for those that are feeling lonely and hopeless. Remember September is suicide prevention month. You can help prevent suicide by doing what Ellen says after every show, “Be kind to one another.”  Showing love and not just saying love can help prevent suicide. I ask that you share this if you feel led. Pray for me.

Stay Saved and keep going,

Daniel Richerson

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IT TAKES LOVE

 One of my favorite movies of all time is a little movie called Lethal Weapon. If you don’t know, this movie was one of the original “buddy cop” movies. Roger Murtaugh was a family man, 50 years old, and a police officer for many years. He got told that he was going to get a partner by the name of Martin Riggs. Riggs was perceived as crazy. He was perceived as psychotic. He was suffering from mental health issues. He lost his wife which turned his world upside down. Meaning night after night he would hold a gun to his mouth ready to end it with tears in his eyes, but right before he pulled the trigger, he would uncock the gun and express how much he misses his now late wife. So holding all that emotion in while trying to be a police officer at the same time would probably make anybody a little off, right? I bring up this movie, because it was the love of Murtaugh and his family that lifted Riggs out of his mental condition. He didn’t talk to a therapist which he likely needed to, it was the love of his new partner and family. Maybe what’s keeping some people from losing their minds is love. The love of God. The love from family and friends. I believe the writer was right when they said, “What the world needs now is love sweet love.”

The church I attend now had 3 prior pastors, one of which was my Dad. Dad would sometimes get up for his sermon and just read from hymn 425 in the COGIC Hymnal.

“I was sinking deep in sin, far from the peaceful shore, Very deeply stained within, sinking to rise no more; but the Master of the sea heard my despairing cry, from the waters lifted me—Now safe am I. All my heart to Him I give, ever to Him I’ll cling, in his blessed presence live, ever His praises sing. Love so mighty and so true merits in my soul’s best songs; faithful, loving service too to Him belongs. Souls in danger, look above, Jesus completely saves, He will lift you by his love out of the angry waves. He’s the Master of the sea, billows his will obey; He your Savior wants to be—be saved today. Love lifted me, love lifted me, when nothing else could help, love lifted me; love lifted me, love lifted me, when nothing else could help, love lifted me.”

I will admit now that I realize that some may be reading this that do not believe in God. I’m not here to argue with anybody about the existence of God. That’s your prerogative. I will say that you must talk to somebody if you’re dealing with some type of anxiety or suicidal thoughts, God or not. Keeping that kind of stuff in is not healthy. Find an ear you can vent to that would use their mouth to spread your business or their fingers to spread your business on social media. To those that don’t believe in God, I will say you can vent to God and don’t have to worry about him spreading your business. I’m just saying.

As I write this, we as wrestling fans are worried about the well being of a wrestler that recently went on Instagram and contemplated suicide. Apparently, this wrestler had a gun and read out their last will and testament. In the last month this is the second wrestler I’ve seen make a video with the subject of ending it all. The spirit of suicide is not a game. I understand that wrestling is a work, but the people behind the characters we love or despise have real life issues. I understand the feeling of wanting to end it all. I never would have the guts to make a video about it. I have cried myself to sleep night after night due to mental anxiety. Why did I never do it? Because of the love of my family and church family. I’ve mentioned this before and it’s still holds true, I have to learn how to love Daniel. You must learn how to love you. Find something good about yourself and build on that.

Now if you know somebody that is dealing with said issues, don’t just say love you got to show love. Fred Hammond said, “When you say how are you doin'/ Do you really wanna know/ And are you concerned, yeah/ And if you had the solution/ But it took some of your time or some cash or whatever/ Are you willing.” The chorus goes like this.

“Not just what you say {It's mostly what you do}
Not a game that you play {To keep the winning hand with you}
Not just wasting time {With empty words that don't mean much}
Not just how you feel {When others need your tender touch}
So can you take out some time {To help somebody else in need}
And when this is done {The love of God is truly seen}
Then above all {We need to cover and forgive}
Then we can act like we know what love is”

With people hurting with a pain that doesn’t seem to be going away this is not the time to play with people emotions. The wrestlers I talked about before are just two examples of people dealing with mental health, and many other people that are dealing with the same issues but unlike some people, they have a platform. September is suicide prevention month. There’s a hotline you can call 1-800-273-TALK (8255). You can call on God. My inbox is open. There are people that are willing to listen and love on you. Not everybody Is out here preying on you, some are praying for you.

That’s all I have for this post. I thank you for reading it. I thank those who keep encouraging me to keep writing. I do ask that you please share this post around if you feel led. This is a subject matter that really hits home to me. I know I talk about mental health a lot lately because I see a lot of it on my timeline on the daily. Me myself, I’m still dealing with it. So, here we go. Me writing is my therapy. And if you talk to somebody, one time is not enough. There’s a reason why the Bible says, “…men ought to always pray and not faint.” The old song says, “Don’t stop praying! The Lord is nigh; Don’t stop praying! He’ll hear your cry; For the Lord has promised, and His Word is true; Don’t stop praying; He’ll answer you.”

Ok now I’m done.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson