THIS BLOG TOOK A TURN

This was originally going to be another blog about my depression and suicidal thoughts. Then I realize that I couldn't do that. I didn't want to continue to live in misery. We all got issues. We all have bruises. I just thought it wasn't a crime to say "Ow" sometimes. March 23rd I wrote a post I titled, "Unspoken", and I was very open about mental issues and anxiety. I would say that I had them. My little sister left me a comment that said, "you’re working through anxiety and mental health issues, sibling. It does not have you nor do you have it!!" And I thought she was crazy. Like I'm living with this. I know what goes on through my head on a daily, how you going to say I don't have anxiety, and mental issues? 

I believe she was trying to tell me that I have to be careful what I speak over myself. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7a "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." The last clause of Luke 6:45 "...for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." The song writer said, "Sometimes you have to encourage yourself." It's nice to get encouragement from love ones. I believe we all like a little encouragement every once in a while, but when you feel like you're not getting any encouragement, why not encourage yourself? You may not see what you're speaking, but as my old Pastor once said, "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Song writer said, "I may not see it, but I hear it." Somebody else says, "You got to see it before you see it if you're ever going to see it" Let's go Bible. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Proverbs 18:21 in the Good News Bible, "What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words."

Now the question comes how can you truly encourage yourself if you don't like yourself? I would say that's a legit question. I'm still growing in that department of liking Daniel. Find a reason to smile. Find that reason to laugh and smile. Some would say as a Christian, you don't do what necessarily feels good to you all the time, which is true, but you can find a reason to laugh. Don't let depression kick your butt. Turn the news off. If you can't turn social media off, you can at least hide the posts you don't want to see or unfollow. Radio personality Charlamagne tha god often says, "Protect your mental health." By any means necessary. Instead of watching the news, watch a good movie. Listen to your favorite song. Distance yourself from people that mean you no good even if that includes family or the people you may go to church with.

I've been told for years that I got to start looking at myself through God's eyes. What does God say about you? Forget what other people say about you. Jeremiah 29:11 in the Amplified Bible, "For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope." Another verse comes to mind Philippians 2:5, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Song writer said, "His report says I am healed/ His report says I am filled/ His report says I am free/ His report says victory." Take notice what report didn't say. Nothing about anxiety, depression, etc. Not saying those feelings won't come, but don't give in. Keep walking. 

I want to take this time to thank my sister for checking on me just about everyday to make sure that I'm ok. I want to thank the people in some of the livestreams I go into, for making a person dealing with being alone among other things feel welcome. From the church streams to the gaming streams. Thank you. I want to thank all of you who has help me keep my head up and in the game. I know I don't communicate like I should, but thank you for loving me anyway. I want to thank all the people at the cardiac rehab center I go to for helping me get through my workouts. Thank you all for reminding me that I'm not walking alone.

I hope something was said that helped out. I hope if you feel led, you share this post all you can. Continue to pray for your boy.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

The week we as Christians call Holy Week is the week an innocent Jesus died on the cross and three days later he rose from the dead with all power in His hands. I find it interesting a little over a week later here we are again having the same conversation about Black Lives Matter. 2020 was not only the year of Covid-19. It was also the year of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and the rest of the cases that wasn't in the news. 2020 was the year that I disconnected myself from a guy I knew over 20 years. We had birthday parties. I would go to this person's house to watch wrestling PPVs back when I watched it religiously. Why I don't now is a topic for another blog. I'm all for differing opinions, but racism and my Faith to me is not like debating sports or movies. That's part of the reason I don't use the term friend, ace, homie, etc loosely. I also distanced myself from certain white family members who really let their true feelings be known about black people, and it hurt me cause one it made me wonder how this person really felt about my mom, my sister, and myself when we would visit. I heard all last year that 2020 was the year of "perfected vision," and boy was it ever. 

I put up a status on social media June of 2020 saying, "You know what's scary to me as a mixed man? Like I see all these racist being exposed right now, and what scares me is that what if I'm related to one..." That's was a real fear I had. Ironically the two not named people, made a comment claiming stuff like they loved me and were "not racist." I can't understand why I have trust issues...it's weird.

So now as I'm typing this we got Caron Nazario and Daunte Wright. Many people thought after 45 got voted out of office that things was going to get better, but I know the racist. I told my Dad after Biden got the named the winner, "Trump is a child. He's not getting his way so get ready for  the temper tantrum." Then the news about the election being rigged, and the storming the capital incident, I rest my case. So the question comes, what's the game plan? Do we post black squares again? Do we risk losing friends and family? Do we pray and that's it? What's the move? What's the vaccine to racism? We get flu shots, some of us are getting the covid-19 vaccine shots...there's not needle shot for racism. When we got to go somewhere at night and we're praying not to become another hashtag. There's no vaccine for that. Yes I agree that we need to talk about gun violence in the neighborhood, but does that let the crooked cops off the hook? Some of us on are the same way when we get called out on our foolishness, we try to point the finger at what someone else is doing. 

We got to remember racism didn't start recently, it just got more exposure recently. Some of the things that are preached about when people say, "God is not pleased with..." that didn't start with my generation. It's like that saying, "What's old is new." We got to stop sweeping stuff under the rug for the reputation. Hidden sins are still sins. That's why we pray for forgiveness for sins we committed overtly and covertly or known and unknown. America and the church are trying to progress and yet we can't let go of the past. Modern day Pharisees and Sadducees. When I would teach Bible Band, I would often ask, are they modern day Pharisees and Sadducees? Pharisees "behaved as though their own religious rules were just as important as God's rules for living." Sadducees "were often willing to compromise their values with the Romans and others in order to main their status and influential positions." Got that information out of my Life Application Study Bible. 

How do we solve the problem? I don't have the answers...Sway? I do believe prayer is a solution, but as I heard it say, "we got to feet on the prayers." Faith without works... Conversations not arguments are needed. Listening is needed. If white people are willing to talk, then talk. Don't turn away needed conversations out of frustration. That leads to distrust and life long disgust. I believe that's how some parent and child situations become so jacked. That "that's just the way it is" mentality, and not open to listen. That generation gap is real because of lack of conversation. Too much monologue and not enough dialogue.

These are just my thoughts. I just know something's got to give. Something needs to be done. I still believe "If my people who are called..." (2 Chronicles 7:14). If something was said that spoke to you feel free to share this around anyway you can. I'd really appreciate it. Stay safe and...

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson