MY THOUGHTS ON JENNIFER HUDSON, AND DANIEL RICHERSON

A couple of things I want to get into, so here we go.

Have y'all seen Jennifer Hudson's new video?



When I watched it for the first time, I was blown away at how much weight she lost. One of the comments I read below the video said something to the effect that for 30 secs. he thought it was Brandy Norwood. Yes, Jennifer Hudson has lost that much weight. She looks good too. I mean she really looks beautiful. Now as I say that, the question comes to mind. I think she's fine now, but what did I think of her when she was fluffy? That kept ringing in my head as I watched the video for the first time. It's like I was forcing myself not to be attracted to this woman that went from being bigger or as big as I am now to being compared to Brandy. Hopefully, for Jennifer's sake, she lost the weight for her and her alone, and not because she was in Hollywood, or because David Otunga, her fiance, is fit so she just had to follow suit.Was Jennifer fine before? I will say this, physically she was not my type. Sound fair?

That's always been something I thought about when it came to losing weight. If or when I lose weight, would I get treated any differently then I do now? Would I have a better shot of finding a wife one day? Would I have a better chance of finding the direction I need for my life to get it going? These are the things I think about. I mean I would be the same Daniel aka Big Dusty I've always been. Obviously, after losing weight, I could get through leading a song without feeling like fainting afterward. Look at Jennifer. She could sang before and she can still sang now.

If you were able to pick it up in the last paragraph, my life is at a stand still right now. In a little over two months, yours truly, Big Dusty, will be 24 years old. In a little over 3 months, it will be 6 years since I've been out of high school. This all really hit home last night before I went to bed. I know I've blogged about this, podcasted about this, and even took some shots at myself through video, but it's still sad on my part. Something happened this morning that hit home too. This morning I was messing with my dog, Ginger, like I usually do. I came off with a comment, "I'm trying to teach you about life." My dad then asked the question, "What are you going to teach her about life?" In other words, "What do you know about life?" That coming from your father can really hit home. I'm sure he meant no harm by it, but Holy Crap did he have a shot and did he ever take it.

I wake up every morning not understanding how or why God lets me live day after day knowing that the last 6 years was completely wasted. Don't get me wrong, my spiritual life is on the rise. I'm singing with more confidence at church. I'm reading the Bible and praying more than I've ever have. If you read through the blogs, you can see that I've grown spiritually. I'm not downing that for a minute. But my natural life has been wasting away. Singing God Is, Made A Way, and I Won't Forget at church and it going over every time is not getting me off my butt and naturally getting my life on acceleration. Naturally speaking, I've been riding the breaks. Spiritually and church speaking, I've been on acceleration. I keep wondering how can I get my natural life to step up. As I'm typing this, my hands are shaking because this is hard for me to just open up about, but the truth is the truth. The smiles I make on dailybooth, the randomness I come with through podcasts and YouTube videos, is not moving my life forward spiritually speaking.

Now I can hear my dad's annoying voice--it is annoying. I'm his son. What else do you expect from me? Back on topic--in my head. "When you pray to God, you got to be specific because God has a sense of humor." I hear it every time I get on my knees to pray. The problem is, at least in my opinion, I don't have direction. I don't know where to go or where to start. Would I want to get paid doing what I'm doing now which is putting my thoughts down through blogging or writing a column? Of course I would. Would I love to make an income entertaining? Of course I would. Would I love to make an income doing podcasts or talk radio just sharing my opinion? Of course I would. So I do have dreams like writing a best seller, or playing drums in a successful band. But what's the use of having dreams with no direction? That's my problem. I have no direction. Again that's my opinion, and I'm sure, as a matter of fact, I KNOW all of you have an opinion on this.

For those that are worried and praying for me, trust me I'm not in denial. I know what I'm doing, or should I say in this case, not doing. When people ask me how I'm doing, I say I'm fine to stay away from conversation. When I'm the subject of conversations, I try my best to keep it short in sweet. That's probably why I have no friends that I can call on, because I don't open up to anybody. I've had the bad habit ever since High School of hiding my feelings from people and faking it. But as you can see through my blogs, I have a lot on my mind and my heart that's just waiting to be shown to the light.

Thanks for reading. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comment section below. I know you got opinions on me and my situation, but feel free to share your thoughts on my thoughts on Jennifer Hudson. If you're a member of this blog site, follow me so you'll know when I post another blog. If you have a Twitter or FaceBook, my information is on your right. As mentioned above, I am on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/danielakabigd and DailyBooth: http://www.dailybooth.com/bigdusty . Plus you can listen to my podcasts. I just did one yesterday as a matter of fact: http://bigdusty.podomatic.com.

Again thanks for reading and I look forward to your comments.

Stay Saved.

Daniel Richerson aka Big Dusty