20 YEARS?!?!

For Drew, Tiffany, Brooks, and Kevin.

So it's been 20 years since I graduated high school. We recently had our high school reunion, and to be honest I wasn't going to go at first. I wasn't going to go because for one I was scared. I didn't want to discuss how I'm currently doing. Since my job requires me to talk to college kids, I didn't want to have the conversation, "Oh I go back and forth with teenagers. Just living the dream!" My anxiety was speaking loudly.

 I've never been good at mingling with people. I'm currently working on how I talk about myself or speak about myself, but if I can be honest, I still have that low self-esteem that I've always had growing up. Discussing how I'm doing is still not easy, but with therapy I feel like I'm getting better.  That feeling of expecting the worse was heavy as well. As well as that feeling of comparison. Bottom line, like I've stated in previous blogs, I can type stuff out better than I can speak it. 

Getting to the reunion was a trip in itself. Unknowingly I put in the wrong address on Google maps, so when I got to where I thought was the destination I was confused because there was no where to park. At first in my mind I thought this was a sign to turn around and go home. Again my anxiety was telling me this was a bad idea even going to this thing, but I digress. So I found a parking lot and put in the right address. Even while I was parking in the correct parking lot I was telling myself, "Well you already paid for your ticket might as well..."

I was told by one of my therapists to try and have fun. My mom told me not to overthink things. I went in the place and found my old high school picture, and first thought was I remember that guy. They spelt my last name wrong because of course they did. Anyway, a couple of young ladies I knew of in high school, asked me to take a picture at this photo booth gimmick they had set up. I didn't want to take any pictures but I didn't want to be the typical asocial person I've been since ever. Asocial meaning lacking motivation for social interaction, and of course I told my sister, I was dragged to take the picture, but moving on.

One of my other fears going into the reunion was crying. I didn't want to cry, and by the grace of God I didn't. One person I feel tried his best to get me. We started talking about whatever we were talking about and he brought up how my smile always made his day better. Oddly enough, I don't remember smiling much in high school. Anyway, this guy said I should do, "A Day In the Life of Daniel" TikTok.  I vowed to myself to never ever get on or create a TikTok, but according to some people I should get one. Even my sister said, "I got the personality for it." I don't know, maybe---

While walking around I noticed that there was a tribute to those that were no longer here. That almost got me because I could've been up there. With my congestive heart failure, with my kidney issues, depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and even thoughts of suicide...so yeah, my heart sank a little bit when I saw that tribute. 

The rest of the reunion went fairly well I think. The question comes did I see any of my old friends or reconnect. Here's the thing about some of the people I hung out with in high school, some of them where a couple of years younger, and even the ones that were in the class of 2005 with me....we were kind of a weird group anyway. I mean of course I would've loved to see some of the old crew, but it just wasn't meant to be. 

So that was my 20 year high school reunion. The past 20 years hasn't been the kindest to me, but I'm still here. If you're reading this, and you were at the reunion, thank you for being nice to me. Yes I had a great time. On to the next one I guess. If you're read this far, I thank you. Please share and repost this so others can read. Please read and share my old blogs if you so choose.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

MEN'S MENTAL HEALTH AWARENESS MONTH

I know I wrote about keeping the dream going. Well it's been a little over 4 months since my last entry. I wish I had a good explanation, but I hope this makes up for it.

June is Men's Mental Health Awareness Month. On May 31, 2025 John Brenkus lost his battle with depression. John Brenkus was an American producer, director, and a television personality, but it wasn't enough. He was a father, but that wasn't enough. I know they call depression a silent killer, but I don't think it's that silent anymore. Well, it was never silent for me. It's something that I've dealt with, and may I say still deal with at times. I've been in therapy and on medication going on three years now.

I've heard it said that men suffer in silence. Men get told to "man up" when there's even a slight sign of weakness. Professional wrestler, L.A. Knight, said in a promo, "If something arises in your life that hits you your feels and you have to cry. Let it out. It's good for your mental health, it's good for you, it doesn't make you any less of a man." Now you got your naysayers that tell you to "man up," do some pushups, and all that. This is why some men suffer in SILENCE because they feel nobody cares. The community that's supposed to be supporting them, are burying them. Then when it's too late, "Why didn't they say anything?" 

As Charlamagne tha God would say, "I did my research, and by research I mean Google." Google says, that "Men may not be diagnosed with mental health conditions as readily as women due to various factors, including societal expectations and a reluctance to seek help. Men are more likely to die by suicide than women, and mental health conditions play a significant role in these statistics." 

I remember watching a wrestling show and one of the performers took a mental health break, and a performer by the name of CM Punk got on the microphone and said, "And I’ll say one last word about it — if anybody here or anybody at home watching television if you’re in a place where you think you need help, get it. Ask for it, reach out, text somebody, call somebody. There's nothing harder that you can do in the world, but there's nothing more courageous as well." 

Me personally I was suffering for a long time. I was writing blogs regarding my mental capacity. Fortunately for me somebody was listening to my cry for help, and I ended up starting therapy and medication. Shout out to the two therapists I've had. I'm on Zoloft and Abilify. I'm still a work in progress. As the saying goes, "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." 

So I say continue to cry out for help. Somebody is listening. Old hymn says, "Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles. He'll hear your faintest cry, and He'll answer by and by. When you feel the little prayer wheel turning, just know that the fire is burning. Just a little talk with Jesus makes it right." 

Another song says, "I cried and I cried. Cried all night long. I cried and I cried until I found the Lord."

Jay Glazer, a Fox NFL analyst and a Mental Health advocate, tweeted this in response to the death of John Brenkus, "The darkness convinces you you’re better off dead, it seems so convincing, it’s NEVER EVER EVER true!!!!"

I know people would love for me to be more open to having conversations, but I've stated before I'm not good at getting my words together out loud. I'm much better at typing them out like this. 

That's all I have for this one. I hope you got something out of it. Continue to pray for men who are suffering silently and loudly. To the men reading this that may be suffering, it's ok to seek professional help. It's ok to reach out to tell somebody what is going on. Don't suffer alone. Find your community. I ask that you share this with all you can share it with. Hopefully it won't be another 3 or 4 months until the next entry.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson
DanRich618@yahoo.com

DREAM ON

 Happy 2025!

I've gone back and forth with what I wanted to blog about. Then I came across a cover of a song that many consider a classic. That song is Dream On by Aerosmith. I've always liked the song, but the way I heard the artist J Paul sang the song dare I say ministered to me in a such a way to, not to be corny, to dream on. I've been stagnant in my writing and other things that I'm passionate about. Reasons varying to mostly lack of motivation. When I listened to J Paul's cover of Dream On, he adlibbed, "Dreamers keep dreaming. Singers just keep singing. Writers just keep writing." 

"Dream until your dreams come true." 

We all got gifts. We all have dreams. I believe God gives us dreams for  reason. Just because others in your family gave up on their dreams, doesn't mean you have too. Dream until your dreams come true. It is written, "What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes." Song writer said, "Tomorrow may never come. For you or me, Life is not promised." Go after your dreams while you can because "maybe tomorrow the good Lord will take you away."

We all have our own specific assignment. Song writer said, “No one God created is quite like you

No one earth is quite the same

In the body of Christ there's a need for your life

There's a work, there's an assignment just for you

There's a purpose for that gift that lies in you”

Some one is waiting for your dreams to come true. Your dream isn't just for you. It is written, "A man's gift maketh room for him and bringeth him before great men." Work your dream. Work your gift. Don't sit on your gift. 

I was at work the other day and I heard a voice say, "This is not your final destination." 

So dream on people. Don't let the doubts of anybody stop your from dreaming. Even if they're so called friends and family. Don't let self doubt stop you.

And that's all I got for this first blog of 2025. I hope this finds you well, and I hope you're encouraged to dream on and keep on. 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

Dream On (J Paul's cover) - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wLzau26-TUg

A LITTLE ANXIOUS

 When I was a kid I would sometimes cry in school. Mostly due to being the pun of jokes. Sometimes after I'd cry, I'd act a little goofy. I don't know why. Maybe it was an attempt to get back in good graces with my classmates. It almost never worked out that way, but still. Fast forward to now, I'm still crying. Not due to being the butt of the joke, but due to depression. I was probably depressed as a child too but it wasn't diagnosed.

So here we are. The election of 2024 happened. I've been a bit on the anxious side since the results. I already have anxiety about going to work everyday, but with the election results mixed with that, I barely had an appetite when I went on my break. Why did the results give me anxiety when I know the government is on the shoulders of Jesus. The writer said, "Whom shall I fear if God be for me?" So why the anxiety? Am I worried about the government? Yes. I'm more worried about the followers, or should I say some of the followers, of the now next President. I'm more worried about the conversation around the election. I'm more worried about the division of the already divided "United" States of America. I for one am not going to argue with anyone. I got major PTSD when it comes to arguments, and I do my best to stay away from them. 

Why do I have anxiety when it comes to my job? For one I've had many of an emotional breakdown at work. I don't go to work planning on crying, but I do have this tiny expectation that someone or something will cause me to think more lowly than I already kind of do of myself. Yes I still see a therapist twice a month. This is a process. Some processes take longer than others. Every night after work, I worry about did I go to far with a joke or did I truly offend any one. That's never my intention.

Speaking of intentions, in previous blog posts, I took some subliminal digs at certain individuals. I would like to take this time to apologize to any one that I offended or took a dig at. Those thoughts were typed out of place that should not have been made public. In the book of Matthew 5:23-24, in the Message Bible, “This is how I want you to conduct yourself in these matters. If you enter your place of worship and, about to make an offering, you suddenly remember a grudge a friend has against you, abandon your offering, leave immediately, go to this friend and make things right. Then and only then, come back and work things out with God."

Not making any excuses, but I sometimes type the words that I can't articulate through talking. With that I have mental problems, but I do understand that's not an excuse to act a donkey. So again I apologize for any offense. 

That's all I got for this post. I haven't been posting in a while, and that's on me. I thank those of you who take the time and read this stuff. I don't ask for much but if you got this far would you please share this? Stay safe and

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

TIRED OF BEING TIRED

Haven't been motivated to write anything. The year 2024 has been crazy so far. As I'm writing this, the list of people who have died has been body numbing. I remember 2016 was a banger year for deaths. Lest we forget the pandemic. Thoughts and prayers seems to sound cliche now. How many times have we actually thought about and prayed for those who are grieving?

Seems like everyday I scroll on social media, somebody is posting that somebody else has passed. From the entertainment industry to the church community. I heard a saying one time that went like this, "Appreciate what you have today, because it may not be there tomorrow." James 4:14 says, "...For what is your life? It is even a vapour, that appeareth for a little time, and then vanisheth away."

My dad passed in January of 2022. There's not a night that goes by where he doesn't appear in my dreams. It's like my dreams can't comprehend that he's no longer alive. In my dreams, he's alive and well. It's like nothing has happened. I guess there's regret on my part for not saying anything during his home going service. As I'm typing this I haven't been to his gravesite. Little stuff like that bothers me. 

It's still hard for me to open up like I should. Like most people when asked how I'm doing, I say, "I'm fine." just to keep the conversation going. With the all the death going on, not to mention the election, asking people how they're doing is a deeper question than one might think. How am I doing? I'm tired of being tired, if that makes sense. You know how people say, "I'm sick and tired of being sick and tired?" As the younger generation used to say, that part. 

Romans 8:18, "For I reckon that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us."

Song writer said, "Trials form the tears in your eyes

Don't stop

I'm telling you

There's a blessing on the other side of through."

Ephesians 6:13-14a, "Wherefore take unto you the whole armour of God, that ye may be able to withstand in the evil day, and having done all, to stand. Stand therefore..."

Another song writer said, "I know that there's so much more for me. My heart is ready--ready to receive. I'm standing on His promise for He said He'll see me through it and I know He'll do it"

Here's another phrase that's been thrown around a lot lately, but it still holds true. "Don't give up." I'm not going to pretend like I got all the answers. Nor am I going to pretend I know how to tell anyone how to go through what they're going through. I'm just saying don't live in the valley. Walk through it. It's written, "Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me." 

That's all I got for this one. I hope something was said to encourage. I hope that if you made it this far that you will share this with your friends and family. Don't forget to comment as well. Grace. Peace. Love.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

THANKS FOR THE BIRTHDAY WISHES

Thank you every one for the birthday wishes. I know this is the only time of the year some of us communicate through the socials, but if this is the only time, I still appreciate it. I went to a therapy session on my birthday. Yes I still do therapy. It's mainly for maintenance now. I still have anxiety attacks here and there but not as much as before. One night I had to drive home for an hour, and...

Ok, I work at a college, so like any other college, this college has spring break. When the college went on break, we that work there also got a break. Being on spring break, got me some time to do certain things that I don't usually get to do because I work 2nd shift. Now when I'm at work, and the anxiety attacks come  I usually start crying for no reason, and I end up having to walk to the back of the building to get myself together. I end up calling my mom or my little sister, depending on who I can get a hold of. They talk me through, or sometimes pray me through the anxiety attacks. I can't speak for anyone else that goes through this like me, but when I get them, I can't ever explain why. People ask me what's wrong, and I tell them I don't know because I really don't know. I just know one moment I'm fine, and then the next moment my eyes are welling up. One of my co-workers, tries to tell me to relax. If that doesn't work, one of my other co-workers asks me if I'm ok and do I need a break. Having no reason to lie, I nod my head, apologizing for having to leave my station. 

So that's at work, but imagine going through that in a car driving on the road with no one to call and you're alone in the car. I will say it's not safe, and I wouldn't recommend it. If you can, call somebody, and talk to somebody. Needless to say this particular night I didn't do any of that. I went to this church service, and it was one of those services where the preacher couldn't preach because the atmosphere was that crazy. Anyway, I got called up to the altar, which always always causes some anxiety, but that's a different blog for a different day. Some time up there somebody whispered in my ear, "You've been trying to do it on your own." That struck a nerve with me because I feel if that was the case, that service should've been a memorial service. That's part of the reason for therapy because I know I can't do it on my own. Now I must say, this I don't know what this person meant by that. This is just how I took it.  La di da di da, I went back to my seat. After benediction, I drove home and felt numb. I had that strange case of, "If you don't care, then I don't care." I have this bad habit of holding two fingers to my head like a gun when I feel like this.  How I made it home? As the song writer said, God did it. Oh yes He did it.

Thanks for the birthday wishes ladies and germs. I turned 37. Didn't think I'd make it this far. Well, I thought I would, but I also thought my life would be completely different than it is now. Is my life perfect? No. Do I have regrets? Plenty. As you can see if you got this far, my life is not peaches and cream. I just take it one day at a time. Every day is a new day and a different day. Do I have PTSD? Yep, but again every day is different. How do I deal with it? A lot of prayer, and ASMR. The medicine I'm on helps too. I'm on Zoloft and Abilify. 

That's all I got. Sorry it's been a while between the blogs. I didn't have any material. No I had a lot of material but framing it in a way for post....know what I mean? Again thank you all for birthday wishes. Keep praying for me. Feel free to share your comments, and share the blog around. You are not alone. Peace. Love.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

BETTER

Better. Webster defines it to mean more advantageous or effective. I asked myself a question one day. Why do we as people fear better? Is it that we fear what's coming might be better than what's been? Is it the fact that we're in the last days so you feel that it's impossible for better to come? Is it better might be a different way that you've done it or look at it and you fear change? 

In my 36 years, I find that some are going to see the negative in everything. You got to be careful being around people like that because spirits do transfer. I know I'm not the most positive guy in the world, but I'm getting better through therapy. Speaking of therapy, I'm down to one appointment per month. I'm still taking my medicine. So things are going good as far as that goes. I will say this, if you feel that you need help, it's out there for you. Don't let being miserable continue to be a life trait. Don't let that spirit continue to transfer to your love ones. Yes, I do believe in Jesus, but I also believe in therapy. He can work through therapy too. 

Back on the subject of better. Don't shut it out. I'm not implying that all change is better, but all change isn't bad either. Some people just want to be stuck in their present. Their present may not necessarily be this current time. Some people want to be stuck in the wash board era of doing things. Nothing that there's anything wrong with that, but we have washing machines and dryers. Nothing wrong with still having bunny ears on your TV, but everything is digital now so don't get mad at the TV for not working when it's using out of date programming. Bunny ears, kids, is another word for antenna. Antenna's are...never mind.

Better can be refreshing as well. Ever feel like you're stuck in the same cycle, and it seems that nothing is ever going to change. You feel like it's not going better, but then it happens. You get a new supervisor. That one coworker gets fired. The radio plays your favorite song. You go to church, and the sermon is just what you needed. I can't even explain how you can experience better but still go back to the same miserable cycle. 

Maya Angelou once said, "Do the best you can until you know better. Then, when you know better, do better." Some of us know better, but we choose not to do better because it's not comfortable. Doing something you've never done before almost never feels comfortable. There's another quote that says, "If you want something you've never had, you must be willing to do something you've never done." 

That's all I have for this one. I hope if got this far, you'll be willing to comment and share this blog with any and everybody. 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson