THIS BLOG TOOK A TURN

This was originally going to be another blog about my depression and suicidal thoughts. Then I realize that I couldn't do that. I didn't want to continue to live in misery. We all got issues. We all have bruises. I just thought it wasn't a crime to say "Ow" sometimes. March 23rd I wrote a post I titled, "Unspoken", and I was very open about mental issues and anxiety. I would say that I had them. My little sister left me a comment that said, "you’re working through anxiety and mental health issues, sibling. It does not have you nor do you have it!!" And I thought she was crazy. Like I'm living with this. I know what goes on through my head on a daily, how you going to say I don't have anxiety, and mental issues? 

I believe she was trying to tell me that I have to be careful what I speak over myself. The Bible says in Proverbs 23:7a "For as he thinketh in his heart, so is he..." The last clause of Luke 6:45 "...for of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaketh." The song writer said, "Sometimes you have to encourage yourself." It's nice to get encouragement from love ones. I believe we all like a little encouragement every once in a while, but when you feel like you're not getting any encouragement, why not encourage yourself? You may not see what you're speaking, but as my old Pastor once said, "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Song writer said, "I may not see it, but I hear it." Somebody else says, "You got to see it before you see it if you're ever going to see it" Let's go Bible. Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen." Proverbs 18:21 in the Good News Bible, "What you say can preserve life or destroy it; so you must accept the consequences of your words."

Now the question comes how can you truly encourage yourself if you don't like yourself? I would say that's a legit question. I'm still growing in that department of liking Daniel. Find a reason to smile. Find that reason to laugh and smile. Some would say as a Christian, you don't do what necessarily feels good to you all the time, which is true, but you can find a reason to laugh. Don't let depression kick your butt. Turn the news off. If you can't turn social media off, you can at least hide the posts you don't want to see or unfollow. Radio personality Charlamagne tha god often says, "Protect your mental health." By any means necessary. Instead of watching the news, watch a good movie. Listen to your favorite song. Distance yourself from people that mean you no good even if that includes family or the people you may go to church with.

I've been told for years that I got to start looking at myself through God's eyes. What does God say about you? Forget what other people say about you. Jeremiah 29:11 in the Amplified Bible, "For I know the plans and thoughts that I have for you, says the Lord, plans for peace and well-being and not for disaster to give you a future and a hope." Another verse comes to mind Philippians 2:5, "Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus." Song writer said, "His report says I am healed/ His report says I am filled/ His report says I am free/ His report says victory." Take notice what report didn't say. Nothing about anxiety, depression, etc. Not saying those feelings won't come, but don't give in. Keep walking. 

I want to take this time to thank my sister for checking on me just about everyday to make sure that I'm ok. I want to thank the people in some of the livestreams I go into, for making a person dealing with being alone among other things feel welcome. From the church streams to the gaming streams. Thank you. I want to thank all of you who has help me keep my head up and in the game. I know I don't communicate like I should, but thank you for loving me anyway. I want to thank all the people at the cardiac rehab center I go to for helping me get through my workouts. Thank you all for reminding me that I'm not walking alone.

I hope something was said that helped out. I hope if you feel led, you share this post all you can. Continue to pray for your boy.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

SOMETHING'S GOTTA GIVE

The week we as Christians call Holy Week is the week an innocent Jesus died on the cross and three days later he rose from the dead with all power in His hands. I find it interesting a little over a week later here we are again having the same conversation about Black Lives Matter. 2020 was not only the year of Covid-19. It was also the year of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, Ahmaud Arbery, and the rest of the cases that wasn't in the news. 2020 was the year that I disconnected myself from a guy I knew over 20 years. We had birthday parties. I would go to this person's house to watch wrestling PPVs back when I watched it religiously. Why I don't now is a topic for another blog. I'm all for differing opinions, but racism and my Faith to me is not like debating sports or movies. That's part of the reason I don't use the term friend, ace, homie, etc loosely. I also distanced myself from certain white family members who really let their true feelings be known about black people, and it hurt me cause one it made me wonder how this person really felt about my mom, my sister, and myself when we would visit. I heard all last year that 2020 was the year of "perfected vision," and boy was it ever. 

I put up a status on social media June of 2020 saying, "You know what's scary to me as a mixed man? Like I see all these racist being exposed right now, and what scares me is that what if I'm related to one..." That's was a real fear I had. Ironically the two not named people, made a comment claiming stuff like they loved me and were "not racist." I can't understand why I have trust issues...it's weird.

So now as I'm typing this we got Caron Nazario and Daunte Wright. Many people thought after 45 got voted out of office that things was going to get better, but I know the racist. I told my Dad after Biden got the named the winner, "Trump is a child. He's not getting his way so get ready for  the temper tantrum." Then the news about the election being rigged, and the storming the capital incident, I rest my case. So the question comes, what's the game plan? Do we post black squares again? Do we risk losing friends and family? Do we pray and that's it? What's the move? What's the vaccine to racism? We get flu shots, some of us are getting the covid-19 vaccine shots...there's not needle shot for racism. When we got to go somewhere at night and we're praying not to become another hashtag. There's no vaccine for that. Yes I agree that we need to talk about gun violence in the neighborhood, but does that let the crooked cops off the hook? Some of us on are the same way when we get called out on our foolishness, we try to point the finger at what someone else is doing. 

We got to remember racism didn't start recently, it just got more exposure recently. Some of the things that are preached about when people say, "God is not pleased with..." that didn't start with my generation. It's like that saying, "What's old is new." We got to stop sweeping stuff under the rug for the reputation. Hidden sins are still sins. That's why we pray for forgiveness for sins we committed overtly and covertly or known and unknown. America and the church are trying to progress and yet we can't let go of the past. Modern day Pharisees and Sadducees. When I would teach Bible Band, I would often ask, are they modern day Pharisees and Sadducees? Pharisees "behaved as though their own religious rules were just as important as God's rules for living." Sadducees "were often willing to compromise their values with the Romans and others in order to main their status and influential positions." Got that information out of my Life Application Study Bible. 

How do we solve the problem? I don't have the answers...Sway? I do believe prayer is a solution, but as I heard it say, "we got to feet on the prayers." Faith without works... Conversations not arguments are needed. Listening is needed. If white people are willing to talk, then talk. Don't turn away needed conversations out of frustration. That leads to distrust and life long disgust. I believe that's how some parent and child situations become so jacked. That "that's just the way it is" mentality, and not open to listen. That generation gap is real because of lack of conversation. Too much monologue and not enough dialogue.

These are just my thoughts. I just know something's got to give. Something needs to be done. I still believe "If my people who are called..." (2 Chronicles 7:14). If something was said that spoke to you feel free to share this around anyway you can. I'd really appreciate it. Stay safe and...

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

Unspoken

Back in September 2013, I was struggling to breathe at night. That was going on for months but I was against going to the hospital. The July before that I went back to California for the first time in over 20 years where I got asked if I remembered things from when I was 4 when I left. Not really. Anyway, I couldn't sleep at night. One night in September I couldn't take anymore, I told my little sister, who had told me to let her know if I needed to go to the hospital. I let her know. I couldn't lay down flat on the bed. I felt like I messed everything up. I felt guilty. I felt I let everyone down. So I ended up going to the ER. Turns out I had a lot of built up fluid, and my blood pressure was stroke level high. In my mind this was punishment for all the crap I put my little sister and my parents through over the years. I can remember they wanting to do an MRI but I couldn't lay down flat and breathe properly. I ended up spending a few  days in the hospital. I remember one day I was eating lunch and this doctor came in and told me that I wouldn't make it to 30. Side note, I'll be 34 this coming May. And they had a nutritionist come in and told me about this low sodium diet. I was told to find a doctor. They put me on medicine to take. One main thing that sticks out is the day I got out, they put me in the wheel chair, and it felt like I waited forever for someone to get me. At that point, I felt alone. I went into a state of depression. My  Mom came to the room I was in, and she wheeled me out to the car so she could take me home.

You know that phrase, "If you don't learn from history, you're doomed to repeat it?" I barely looked for a doctor, so I stopped taking the medicine I was on. I broke the low sodium diet and basically did that I did before. All because I didn't care about my own well being. I had a few temp jobs but nothing that ever felt permanent. Christmas Day 2014, I was at my Aunt's house. Couldn't lay back down again. It wasn't as bad as it was the year prior, but I couldn't get comfortable. Again I felt like I let everyone down. I felt guilty. Like this was payback for something I did. I ended up going back the hospital, but this time it was a different hospital. Again the blood pressure was stroke level high. Spent a few days in the hospital again. Highlight of this trip was a cousin coming to my room to visit. I didn't expect it. Again a doctor came in the room and told me that I wasn't going to make it to 32. (Reminder 34 in May) This time around I got a doctor. When I got let out this time around the staff at this hospital was quicker and getting me out the room. 

March 27, 2020, I was driving home after dropping a dude off at work. I failed to yield to traffic, made a left turn, and got hit by a truck. The car didn't make it, but I did. I got a ticket for failing to yield. I had no damage to me. So, Daniel messed up again. At that same time, my Mom was in the hospital because of Covid. (She's healed and doing well now) So I just hit by a truck. I survived with no injury, while at the same time worried about my mom. This was right before everybody started wearing masks. So I was trying to keep from crying on the side of the road. Trying not to break on the side of road. My Pastor ended up picking me up and taking me home.

Later in 2020 spent some time in Iowa, I got real sick. Again, couldn't sleep. I was struggling to breathe with the mask on. First thought in my mind, I got it. It finally got me. The "It" of course being covid. When we got back to South Carolina, I went to my doctor's office, and got tested for Covid which was the highlight of my day at that point. Nothing like haven't a long q tip stuck up on your nose. I got a refill of all the medicines I stopped taken. I immediately started back taken them. The doctor that treated me was sure that I had Covid. Spoiler alert, test came back negative.

Here in 2021 I'm sticking to my medication, I do cardiac rehab twice a week. I'm not crossing every "t" or dotting every "i". I say again, I'm not where I want to be but Thank God--

That's all I got for this one. My goal is not to come off as a know it all. I try not to come off as I know everything. I'm just a 33 year old guy with anxiety and mental issues, speaking from his heart. I want to take this time to thank all of you for the support and encouragement. I really appreciate it. If you want to share this you can share it.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

I'M NOT IN A HURRY TO GET BACK TO NORMAL

 Luke 18:11-14 KJV The Pharisee stood and prayed thus with himself, God, I thank thee, that I am not as other men are extortioners, unjust, adulterers, or even as this publican. I fast twice twice in the week, I give tithes of all that I possess. And the publican, standing afar off, would not lift up so much as his eyes unto heaven, but smote upon his breast, saying, God be merciful to me a sinner. I tell you this man went down to his house justified rather than the other; for every one that exalteth himself shall be abased; and he that humbleth himself shall be exalted.

I don't know why I say the things I say or do the things I do on social media. Sometimes I feel like I try to hard to be accepted by people that I take little things like no reactions personal. Needless to say I'm not in a hurry for things to return to normal. Can I be honest and say "normal" wasn't so great for some of us. What's going to happen after we go back to "normal." Are we with issues going to be cast to the side again? Are people different from us going to be condemned and kicked out the church again? Are we going to go back to the same old pre pandemic church? Are the going live prayers going to stop because things are normal? Are businesses that were started going to be done because things are back to normal? Are we going to continue to be focused on the "Old Time Way" and completely ignore the new wave? What are we in a hurry to get back to normal for?

Loneliness didn't start in March of 2020. Depression didn't start in March of 2020. Anxiety issues didn't start March of 2020. What is the normal we want to get back to? I'm not in a hurry to get back to normal. I was asked one time is there any one I talk to outside of church? Not counting social media or twitch, I don't talk to anybody. I go to live streams just to hear people say Hi Daniel or what's up Daniel and not feel pressure to put on an act. I can be Daniel Richerson with no pressure. I can count on one hand of the real people I feel that comfortable with in "real life." 

I'm reminded of a verse that was told to me during an altar call some time ago. Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." That put a little ease on the on the constant scan my brain tends to be on all the time. You know how you're in the car and you're looking for a radio station to listen to? So you hit the scan button so it goes through random radio stations until you hear a song you like. That's why when people ask what's on my mind I can't answer. That's a loaded question. 

So the question comes why am I not in a hurry? Long answer short, fear of the the unknown. Fear of going back to saying "No more church as usual" with no action. I've grown numb to church clichés with no action. I heard for years that we got to get out the four walls. All the while staying comfortable in their spot on the pew their spot on the totem pole. Keep in mind these are the same people that would say, "Get out your comfort zone." 

My heart really does go out to those who are begging for someone to care about their depression. I remember in high school I would write down statements like, "I'm so sick of being lonely" thinking nobody would read them. One of my old classmates happened to see what I wrote and she encouraged me writing something to the effect of, "Jesus is with you you're not alone." I can't remember verbatim what she wrote, but I really was thinking that nobody would see what I wrote. I didn't think anybody would care. Let alone somebody at high school. The next day she brought me a cookie on a stick with a happy face on it. That was unexpected and something I'll never forget. I was looking for someone to care, and was not expecting it to be one of my classmates. Some of us dealing with depression are just looking for someone to say I care, not to use our situation in a sermon or judge us. We just want to someone to care. When someone is hungry you give them food, right? I mentioned in previous posts that some of us is just looking for an ear to talk to. 

When this pandemic is truly over, let's not just go back to the old time way cause we can, but take what we've learned and developed during the pandemic and apply it. It's a waste of time learning new plays just to go back to the old plays and lose the game. Growing up I would hear, "It's not in the crowd it's in the cloud." When the crowd comes back to the sanctuary lets not forget the cloud that's been with us during the pandemic. Let's also not forget those who dealt with depression, loneliness, and anxiety during the pandemic. Continue to check on those that say they're ok. Continue to do live prayer time if that's your ministry. It is said that if you don't learn from history you're doomed to repeat it. 

That's all I have for this piece. I want to thank God. I want to thank you all for the continued support. I want to thank those that share my posts. My hope is that if I can reach one who possibly may feel the same way I do and realize they're not the only one maybe we can get well together. Follow me on my socials if you want to. Feel free to share this post all around if you feel led. I don't mind.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

DON'T IGNORE THE PROGRESS IN THE PROCESS

 You hear this quote all the time, "I'm not where I want to be, but thank God I'm not where I used to be." You hear that from saints and 'aints alike. To quote my Pastor "In other words," I'm still in the process but I'm making progress. I feel like we've been living a society that wants to ignore the progress in the process. Our society has been impatient for a long time. We want the prize without running the race. We want to lose weight without the work. We want faith to work without work. It feels like people want the finish product with the process. Nine times out of ten, it doesn't work that way. 

2 Thessalonians 3:13 "But ye, brethren, be not weary in well doing."

It's not a comfortable feeling when you know you're working hard and making progress in life only to have your who situation shut down because you're still in the process. It's not a comfortable feeling you know you're heading in the right direction, and you still get told that you're not doing it right because it's not the way so and so want's you do it, or you're not doing it like they did it. I know what's it's like to have your progress completely ignored because you're not at the final destination yet. Be not weary. It gets depressing when you get that from anybody, especially when it comes from loved ones. Be not weary. Keep doing what you're doing. You're doing what's right. Your progress is not being ignored. If God sees your progress and is pleased who cares what anybody else thinks. Some of the naysayers wants that spot of God so bad that they try to take the position of God by condemning you. You know who else tried to take the position of God. Satan. Didn't work out for well for him did it? 

Most of the time, success doesn't happen over night, and we can't expect it too. I recently wrote down all my goals and dreams on a piece of paper. It's folded up on my dresser now. Before I go to bed I read that list out loud asking God for direction. God is our father. We treat God like some of us treated our parents growing up. Saying, "I promise I'll be good. I won't do that anymore," as a way to hopefully get what we want. That's how some of us treat the things we do behind closed doors. I'll stop Sunday and Wednesday. I'll stop on the days I know I'm going to seen, so God will be pleased with your performance. What does this have to do with the process? It goes right with trying to get the prize but not working for it. Trying to get the reward of being a Christian but doing none of the work. Kevin Hart has a phrase he uses, "Everybody wants to be famous, but nobody wants to put the work in." In 2 Thessalonians 3:10, Paul said in the last clause, "...that if any would not work, neither should he eat." I believe that more than about a job. If you don't put the work in don't expect to eat like everybody else that has been in the process. 

Now we can't always look and the people sitting on the bench as lazy because we don't know the work they are doing behind the scenes. Just because you don't see the man or woman directing the movie, doesn't mean they're not working. Matthew 6:4 in the Amplified Bible says, "So that your charitable acts will be done in secret; and your father who sees [what is done] in secret will reward you." Be not weary. Galatians 6:9, "And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap if we faint not." Don't give up during the process. Don't let what people see through natural eyes distract you from your progress. If you're doing what you're supposed to do, keep going. Just because you're not at the finish line yet, doesn't mean your race is over. Just because your due season hasn't come yet, doesn't mean it's not coming. Old song says, "Stay in the field, until the war is ended." Three words has been the subject of this whole pandemic. Don't. Give. Up.

I'm finished. I hope I said something that helps you stay in the process I hope something was said that helps you trust your progress in your process. If I said anything out of line please forgive me. I'm just another dude in the process. If you got this far, please share anyway you know how.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WHY NOT US?

 Psalm 37:4, 6-7, 9 KJV "Delight thy self also in the LORD, and he shall give thee the desires of thine heart. And he shall bring forth thy righteousness as the light, and thy judgment as the noonday. Rest in the Lord, and wait patiently for him: fret not thyself because of him who prospereth in his way, because of the man who bringeth wicked devices to pass. For evildoers shall be cut off: but those that wait upon the Lord, they shall inherit the earth." 

James 3:17 "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone."

Joshua 1:8 This book of the law shall not depart out of they mouth; but thou shalt meditate therein: for then thou shalt make thy way prosperous, and then thou shalt have good success.

"Draw me close to you, never let me go. I'll let it all down again, to hear You say that I'm Your friend. You are my desire, no one else will do. No one else can take your place. To feel the warmth of your embrace. Help me find my way, bring me back to you. I've seen Your work in others, and I want You to work in me." ~ Draw Me Close To You/Thy Will Be Done, Marvin Winans

I mention Pastor Gray Sr, God rest his soul, all time, and he'd tell me on a couple of occasions to, "Walk the path the God has set before you." What did he mean by that? While you're trying to figure out, God has already worked it out. Just walk the path. How do we know where to go while on the path. Psalm 119:105, "Thy word is lamp unto my feet, and a light unto my path." The flashlight won't work if you don't turn it on. Can't get mad at the light not working if you don't open the book and read it so you can see where you're going. 

I was going to write a post talking about what do we do while we wait on God. All I heard growing up was you got to wait on Jesus. They that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength. I heard all that, but never really was taught what to to while we wait. What I've learned about waiting is that it's kind of  like building yourself up even more to be prepared to what's coming. You do some reading and studying so you can continue to follow that path. When boxers find out the date of their next fight, they don't sit down and lallygag until the fight. They diet, they train, they spar. They prepare for battle the best way they can. That way when when the night of the fight comes, they are ready physically as well as mentally. 

During this pandemic and even before the pandemic, you saw young people using the internet to make a living. And somebody told me one day, "Why not Kingdom kids. Why can't we use the internet like that." Why not us? Matthew 5:45 "...that ye may be the children of your Father which is heaven: for he maketh his sun to rise on the veil and on the good. and sendeth rain on the just and on the unjust." Habakkuk 2:4 "Behold his soul which is lifted up is not upright in him; but the just shall live his faith Why not us. I think the church has a misconception of doing this "worldly." I believe kingdom young people has the same opportunity to make money on via the internet. I think that church has a misconception on "prosperity." Church has let the word prosperity become blasphemous. Prosperity is not a bad thing. We've made a gimmick out of prophesy. It's become so much of a gimmick, some people don't believe that God can bless with houses and cars. Then comes the people that come you need to do this and you need to do that. We've gotten so used to not seeing miracles that we don't believe in them anymore. 

Let me get back on topic. We have to step out of faith. We can't expect success to come with no process. You got to give those young people that make money using the internet, most not all, put their dream to the test. They stepped out on faith. Look up the story of the YouTuber NoLifeShaq. Now's he's almost to 3 million subscribers, but he stepped out on faith, and few years later, there he is. He did it being himself. If God can do that for him and others...But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have enetered unto the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him. (1 Corinthians 2:9)

I'm trying not to come off as the fifth element, the perfect being, I'm just another guy pressing toward the mark, like everyone else. Most of what was typed I needed to tell myself. Faith over fear. Fear is always going to be there. Push past it. I push past fear every Sunday. Since the pandemic, we've been live streaming our church services. I'm on the praise and worship team. I told myself I would never be one of those people that posts a video of me singing on social media. Mainly because of fear. Now I don't have a choice. When it's my turn to lead songs, I push by the fear and go forth. If I can do it, you can too.

Please share.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

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HOW AM I REALLY DOING? PART III

 2020 was a hard year for most of us. Especially those of us that has struggled with low self esteem and mental health, 2020 seemed to enhance it. I heard a preacher say just because we're in a new year that doesn't mean the season changed. As of typing, Covid-19 is still a problem. Racism is still a problem. I'm pretty sure a lot of us are going stir crazy. As an introvert myself, one would think I'd enjoy being home. Not entirely. I get annoyed with people, but that doesn't necessarily mean that I want to be alone all the time. That's one of the main reasons that I watch reaction videos and try not to laugh videos because it feels like, at least for a moment, I'm not alone.

I'm not a hugger. Never really was a big fan of them. I can remember as a kid that I would give people the shoulder besides going in for the whole hug. That caused quite the reaction from people, and of course I took it well. Just kidding. Anyway, I bring up hugs, because if I can be honest about it, I'm going to regret this, but I kind of miss getting hugged. I mean that genuine I care for you hug. Due to the pandemic, that's been outlawed.

Those that have been reading my posts, you know that most of 2020 I dealt with my own personal anxiety, depression, etc. Well recently I sat down with a couple of spiritual advisors to talk about it. I didn't think I was going to be able to do it because I'm used to keeping stuff in not letting stuff out which is where a lot of my anger comes from. I'd hold a lot of stuff in because I didn't think anybody wanted to listen. Matter of fact when I was a teenager I believe, I actually went to counseling or therapy. It didn't last long, and I believe the reason it didn't last long was because I wasn't willing to really open up all the way. I basically cracked the door open with the door latch still on it refusing to remove the chain latch.

So with these recent two talks, I actually let the door open just enough so I can share what I've been holding in. Not all of it, but I got a good bit of old junk out. One question I was asked was, "Was there ever a time where you felt whole?" I thought about it and I honestly said no. I go back to being a church kid, I learned how to fake it hoping that people would leave me alone. Funny I felt lonely but at the same time I wanted people to leave me alone. I will say that it felt good opening up and not getting dragged or preached at. It felt good opening up about the why. It felt good to have an ear to talk to and not feeling like you're wasting your time. 

I was given verses to read and meditate on. One being Deuteronomy 30:19, "I call heaven and earth to record this day against  you, that I have set before you life and death, blessing and cursing, therefore choose life that both thou and thy seed may live." Choose life. With that I've been getting up and walking in place for 15 minutes +, while doing intermittent fasting 9 pm to 11 am, this gimmick called drink to shrink, and taking my medicine.

Another set of verses I was given was Philippians 4:6-8, "Be careful for nothing; but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things." When your mind starts going off the rails, think on these things.

I want to thank all my family and friends that have checked on me and have and are praying for me. I want to thank the ears that were willing to sit down and hear me and talk with me. I want to thank you all for reading as I continue to learn how to love and forgive me. If you got this far, can you please share?

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

Still Philippians 3:13-14

Part one: https://bigdusty.blogspot.com/2020/10/learning-how-to-love-and-forgiveme.html

Part two: https://bigdusty.blogspot.com/2021/01/learning-to-love-and-forgive-myself-prt.html

LEARNING TO LOVE AND FORGIVE MYSELF PRT 2/HOW AM I REALLY DOING?

I've never been a good public speaker. I get nervous and end up trying to get a laugh. I don't do that out of disrespect, it's to keep from crying. I don't like to participate in arguments and debates which is why Sunday School started to miss me pre pandemic. So I type these blogs because it's my way of making my voice heard. I tried the podcast thing which was pretty easy because it was just me and the program audacity, and no one else in the room. So I felt free to speak my thoughts. When I would post the podcast, that's when the hypothetical leg would start shaking. This generation is told, why try to fit in when you were born to stand out...honestly I don't remember hearing that growing up. So my mindset was I got to fit in because I'm tired of my feelings being hurt. I'm tired of caring what people think. I'm tired of being tired. Even at 33 years old, I still have that anxiety.

That's when it becomes hard to like or love myself. I know I should be much further in life. I know that I'm a "grown man" and with that comes responsibilities. So I get in my own head, trying to impress the authority and when it goes wrong, I can't take it. So I end up apologizing for messing up. I end up apologizing for not being who other people want me to be. The pressure from others and the pressure I put on myself becomes overbearing so I end up contemplating---why am I still here? So when I do good, or when I get told that I'm doing a good job or I get told that I'm doing something right, I get emotional because I have trouble seeing the worth.

Some months ago I took a trip, and on the way back, I started having trouble breathing. Not just because of the facemask, but it definitely didn't help. I could barely get through the airport. Messages went out, prayers went up, and I made it home. Went to the doctor and I felt a little better, but not 100%. I was told that without good health I'm not as effective to the body of Christ. I spend the next few months lying about how I'm doing. I would say I'm ok to avoid conversation about how I'm really feeling and doing. That came back to bite me. It's written, depending on what version of the Bible you read, "The truth shall make you free" or "The truth shall set your free." If the truth brings freedom, then that means there's no freedom in lying.

Now being a child of the Church Of God In Christ, we're not really taught to admit that we're not ok. We're not really taught to admit how we're really feeling. We're taught to say, I'm blessed and highly favored. We're taught not to admit defeat, but the question comes is admitting that how you feel really admitting defeat?

So turns out I wasn't ok. I wasn't ok physically and mentally. I wasn't ok. Feeling obligated to do things that I didn't want to do. Agreeing to do things because it was the "right thing to do." I haven't realized that I can't help everybody. I have to realize that I can't keep putting my health at risk in order to help others. I have to realize that being selfish is not always a bad thing. Saying no is not selfish. Now it's easy for me to be helpful, but when it starts to feel like I'm being used like a puppet then that's when it becomes an issue. I was told that, "Once they use you up, they're just going to move on to the next person." I don't consider myself a bible scholar but I haven't read anywhere in the Bible that says, saying no is a bad thing. I read no where in the Word of God where it says, you have to be a yes man.

The question then comes, why is it so hard to say no? Why is it so hard to not allow people to use you up and throw you away? To some people it's nothing for them to say no. I've heard it's a thing that has to be learned. You have to learn to say no. I want to be able to say no without having to make an excuse for it. I want to be able to say no and not feel guilty about it. Stop feeling guilty taking my mental health seriously as well as my physical health seriously. So if I happen to say no sometimes, people just have to get over it. Easier typed than done if I'm keeping it 100. Because in my mind that "Golden Rule" comes to my mind. The Golden Rule if you don't know goes like this, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." In my mind, it goes to so and so helped me when I needed it, so I owe so and so a debt and every time ask I got to say yes. Even God doesn't say yes to everything, so why do I feel I need to?

So needless to say I still have a ways to go. This was not easy to type, but I felt that it needed to come out. Honestly this is not where I really wanted to go, but this where it ended up going. As I quoted in previous post, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." Philippians 3:13-14

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

SAY I LOVE YOU WHILE YOU HAVE THE CHANCE

 Jon Huber passed away December 26, 2020. 10 days after turning 41. Jon Huber was known as Luke Harper under the WWE umbrella. Under the AEW umbrella he was known as Brodie Lee. His passing took a lot of people by surprise. As I read tribute after tribute, one dominating thing I saw over and over was tell your family and friends that you love them. That got my mind working. How often do I tell my family and friends that love them? Why is that such a battle to say those three words "I love you" to somebody but it's easy to say I love God. I love Jesus.

1 John 4:18-20 "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love. We love him, because he first loved us. If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath not seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?"

One commentator said, "It is easy to say we love God when it doesn't cost us anything more than weekly attendance at religious services. But the real test of our love for God is how we treat the people right in front of us."

So what is the problem? Maybe it's the fact that some of us have never experience what love truly is. We have experienced a generational fabrication of what was told to be love but it is really poison being passed down. 1 John 4:8 "He that loveth not knoweth not God; for God is love." So it also could be we're trying to love people without keeping God in it. Some of us are trying to show the love of God without God. 2 Timothy 3:5 says, "having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away." I know this is against God himself to post other versions of the Bible other than KJV to some, but the English Standard Version of the same verse says, "having the appearance of godliness, but denying its power. Avoid such people."

If this pandemic taught us anything, especially in the body of Christ, it should've taught us that we don't need to dress for convocation to get into God's presence. The song writer said, "Won't He make you clean inside." The late Bishop G E Patterson said, "Salvation is an inside job." Another song comes to mind that says, "Something on the inside, working on the outside, oh what a change in my life."

Back on topic. Do your love ones know that you love them? Do they know just by what you say, or does your actions show it also? 4 years ago, I spent my Christmas in the hospital. While my family was opening gifts and eating Christmas dinner, I had oxygen in my nose and eating hospital food. I bring this up because my Mom and Grandma took me to the hospital. That's love through action. They could've just said like some people in the church say, "I'll be praying for you." DC Talk has a song that says, "Love is a verb." I've never been in a relationship, but I do know that if you tell your partner you love them, but never show the love, what you say means nothing. How you show the love is just as if not more important than how you say it.

I know I'm guilty of not saying I love you when I probably should. I'm guilty of not initiating the fact that I love someone. Saying I love you too to somebody is easier for me to say than to just come out and say it first. It's hard for me to openly express my love for someone or something out of fear of being trashed for feeling how I feel. I'm still in that learning process of learning how to like and love myself. I'm still learning how to stop feeling guilty about making decisions that will positive affect my mental capacity. I understand it's easy to roll your eyes when the subject of mental health comes up because some still chooses to believe that it's not real. It's also easy to deny something is real when you've never had to deal with it. Like some people still saying that the pandemic is not real, only for the same people to find out that it is real when it's too late.

2020 has shown that death has no age limit. Richard Pryor said in one of his specials, "Death don't [care] where it go. If it gets a two for one that's a good day for death." That has definitely rang true in 2020. I heard someone say years ago, "Appreciate what you have today cause it may not be there tomorrow." Appreciate your parents today. Appreciate the elders that are still here today. If you have any friends, appreciate them today. Appreciate the roof over your head today. Appreciate God today.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WE'RE BETTER TOGETHER

Philippians 3:13-14 "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do, forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which are before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." 

"Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."

Paul was speaking for himself here, but in reality this is for all of us. We're all pressing. So since we're all in the pressing, we have no time to try and compete with each other for position. Since we're all pressing, we have no time to be petty and hold grudges. We're supposed to be a body of believers, but we're trying to one up each other for position. This year has been a trying year for all of us, no matter how much we try church it using cliché terms, if we're honest, this has been a trying year. Still yet...

My late Pastor Gray once said, "It's time out for the church being a theater. The church is a hospital." People are coming in seeking help for issues sometimes they're not willing to talk to anybody about. I think part of the reason people post their problems on FaceBook is because the church has lost it's focus. They come to church for help, they come for answers, and get nothing. So they go to social media to let it out because they know that holding it in is not healthy. At the same time letting it out to just anybody is not healthy either because not everybody has your back. Some are just looking for gossip when they ask how you are. 

I can't speak for anybody else, but for me, I don't care about spots or position. Want my position so bad, you can take it. I'll still sleep at night. I have a lot more issues to worry about than some spot on the chain in church. I'm coming to the hospital because I still get angry. I still have high anxiety. I still get depressed from time to time. So a spot is the last thing I'm worried about. I'm trying to see what medication I need to take to get healed. If I went to the doctor, and all they talk about is how they're better than the other doctors in the office. I don't care, I'm coughing, doc, take care of the cough. What medicine do I take for the cough? I don't care about your position on the office totem pole. 

I used to be an avid pro wrestling watcher, and I've heard stories how back in the day, wrestlers would try hard to hold on to their spot, and not help the new people that want to learn the business. At the same time, some wrestlers would look at the younger talent and say, "Let me work with him, I can do something special with him." While some were trying to protect their position in the company, some were trying to keep the company going working with the younger talent so there would be a company in the future. Not to create clones but to help them be the best individual talent that they can be so they can make the most money for themselves.

Let's flip it. We got a lot of people in the kingdom still clinging and clutching to their position because nobody else can do it like them. We got up and comers that have a new vision and maybe a different way to do things, but with the "that's not the way I was taught" or "That's not how I do it" mindset, you disregard the up and comers so now they get accused of "sitting down on their gifts" when all the while they've been trying to show you what they can do to help enhance the ministry. Now some people are look at the next generation and don't bash them, but talk with them to hear them out. After the conversation maybe they can work together to help build the ministry even bigger than it is. A phrase I hear a lot is, "We're better together." If we're better together, then let's work together and stop competing with each other.

I hope you got something out of this. "I count not myself to have apprehended...I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus." If you got this far, can you please share with your people? 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

LOVE PAST DISAGREEMENTS

Psalm 133:1 Behold, how good and how pleasant it is for brethren to dwell together in unity!

In Sunday School in the Church Of God In Christ, we'd have a responsive reading. And the Leader starts off with the verse above. Which is is a little ironic right? The late Martin Luther King Jr. once said, "It is appalling that the most segregated hour of Christian America is 11 o’clock on Sunday morning." He said that in 1963. Here we are 57 years later and not much has changed. One commentary says, "Living in harmony does not mean we will agree on everything; there will be many opinions just as there are many notes in a musical chord. But we must agree on our purpose in life--to work together for God. Our outward expression of unity will reflect our inward unity of purpose." We can't even agree on racism being wrong, yet we try to draw people to a loving God who loves everyone.

Song writer said, "We're shouting, we're dancing, but can the world see a change
Am I just too selfish to see, the love they need you put inside of me
If we say we love Jesus, but they can't see our Jesus
Tell me what's the use if they can't see Jesus in you and me
No more excuses, we give it all away
Because we may be the only Jesus they see." 

Same song writer said, "Sunday everyone looks like you But if our lives are cold inside tell me what's the use."

I got atheist on my social media having field day watching those of us that call ourselves believers act a fool over petty things. To be honest, I can't blame them. 1 John 4:20-21 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar:  for that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen? And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also." I feel that there's a lot of people that are window shopping the Kingdom. People are looking for help. They're looking for what's real. How can we help the people looking for help while attacking each other? We have to get to a point where we love past disagreements.

Let's keep it 100, you're not going to get along with everybody. That's life. But not getting along should not mean hate. Not vibing with people should not equate to hating them. Let's compare it to sports. There's been numerous sports teams that had players on the team that couldn't stand each other, but they knew they had to work together for the common goal. When the NBA played it's season in the NBA Bubble, some knelt for the anthem and a couple didn't, but at the end of the night, they all played together to win the game. Off the court, I'm sure they had conversations about kneeling vs not kneeling, but on the court, the goal was to win the game.

Dwelling together in unity doesn't mean going to the same ministry or church, I understand that. Using terms like black church and white church is not unity whether they go to your church or not. I read no where in the Word that there's a heaven based on your race. I read no where in the Bible that there's a heaven for white people and there's a heaven for black people. Old song says, "When we all get to Heaven, what a day of rejoicing that will be. When we all see Jesus, we will sing and shout the victory." Noticed what's not in those lyrics? Nothing about race or ethnic background. Another old song comes to mind that says, "When all God's children get together, what a time, what a time, what a time." A song I learned as a child, "Jesus loves the little children. All the children of the world. Red and yellow, black and white, they're all precious in his sight. Jesus loves the little children of the world." 

It is written, 'For though I be free from all men, yet have I made myself servant unto all that I might gain the more. And unto the Jews I became as a Jew, that I might gain the Jews; to them that are under the law, as under the law, that I might gain them that are under the law; to them that are without law, as without law, (being not without the law God, but under the law to Christ,) that I might gain them that are without law. To the weak became I as weak, that I might gain the week:  I am made all things to all men, that I might by all means save some.. And this I do for the gospel's sake, that I might be partaker thereof with you." (1 Corinthians 9:19-23) 

A former co worker of mine and I were talking. The subject of church came up. He told me that the last time he went to church, he walked in and immediately the preacher started talking about him causing an immediate u-turn. Makes you wonder how many gangstas, homosexuals, white people, black people have that same testimony. Walk into a spiritual hospital, only to be told in a nut shell, "We don't treat your kind here." Forgetting where they were when they found the Lord. If it took love to lift you, what do you think it's going to take to lift somebody else? 

Song writer said, "It ain't a black thing. It ain't a white thing. It ain't a color thing. It's a kingdom thing." The late Pastor Anderson Gray Sr. had a saying about the church. "This is a place where everybody is somebody and Jesus is Lord." Again keyword everybody. We can't let the actions of a Dylan Roof and others like that to dictate how we treat people that look different than we do. We can't let the actions of Paula White, Kenneth Copeland, and others like them dictate how we treat preachers of the Gospel that happen to be white. It is written, "Then came Peter to him and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven." It's written, "For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: but if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." 

"And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful." Colossians 3:15

If you made it this far, I would like to thank you for reading this. I hope it made sense. I hope you got something out of it. If you did, I ask that you share this with friends and family.

Stay saved,

Daniel Richerson

LEARNING HOW TO LOVE AND FORGIVE...ME

One major lesson I've learned through 2020 is that I had to learn how to love myself. My mom put it like this, "You got to learn how to love Daniel." I don't publicize this a lot, but depression is something that I've dealt with since childhood. I think I can speak for a lot of people that this year especially, it feels like those of us that have those mental health issues, we hit a wall this year. It's something the church has finally become more vocal about it. I got trust issues too so I definitely don't open up to every body. When I say I got trust issues, the response is usually, "Well you shouldn't feel that way." Why do we feel that we can dictate how or what people feel from time to time? Every house is different. Even in the church. That line might cost me.

I found this definition of love, "to feel deep affection for" or "like or enjoy very much." So when one tells me, "You got to learn how to love Daniel," it tells me that I have to find deep affection for Daniel. I got to learn how to like and enjoy Daniel. I spend a lot of time alone by myself. When people talk about their circles, I barely got a dot. When I let people in, and when I feel that the circle is growing, it always seems like they disappear out of thin air and I'm by myself again. That's part of the reason why when you see me out in public, I usually keep a straight face so that I don't let people in only to have my heart broken again. Again, this line might cost me, but even amongst church folks. When I'm home, most likely I'm listening to music, or watching funny Youtube Videos just to help keep my head together.

I wrote a post some months ago taken from a New Edition song entitled, "Do You Really Love Me, Don't You Really Care." That was something I've asked myself regarding people around me all the time. Like when people ask me how am I doing, do they really want to know or are they asking to get something out of me. I want to publicly thank those that don't let me stay down when I get down. I want to publicly thank those that have the spiritual eyes and ears to know that I'm not ok sometimes. No matter how much I try to hide it.

I've had panic attacks at random times. The worse one came from when I was working at this manufacturing plant. I was at my station working and I couldn't stop crying. I could barely walk. I was dizzy. I ended up getting sent home because my partner that was working with me at the station saw that something wasn't right so she told the floor leader and she ended up sending me home. Here's the problem. My job was an hour away from where I live. So imagine in that state of mind driving home trying to stay focused. It was nothing but the grace of God that got me home safely.

I don't want to use that "s" word, but yes that has come to mind. In the state of depression that word is bound to come up from time to time, and believe me it has. I always went back to that old song, "Something down inside of me telling me to go 'head." But even with that something, I still needed to learn how to love myself and not be selfish to the fact that how would it affect others if I'd actually went through with it.

The problem then comes with the fact that I'm supposed to be a man of faith. I type all these blogs feeling dead inside sometimes and I get comments about how people enjoyed the posts and how the posts were inspiring. I remember at my 11th high school reunion, don't ask, I was approached by an old classmate and she told me that she enjoyed the posts. Even with those small glimmers of hope, I'd still feel empty like what is this all for in the end? 

Learning how to love yourself also means learning how to forgive yourself. If you've asked God for forgiveness, and you know that He has forgiven you, that should be enough for you to also say that you forgive yourself. I quote Kirk Franklin a lot, and I'm going to quote him again. On a interview on TBN, Kirk said, "David was a whore monger. David was a adulterer. David was a horrible husband. He was a horrible father, but somewhere in the text it says that David was a man after God's own heart." So what am I saying? God sees the worth despite of the mess. Somehow or another I had to learn how to see my worth despite of my mess. 

I talked about mental health, and it is an important subject in today's times more than ever, but we have to take the proper precautions to protect it. That means we can't watch everything. That means we got to cut off some dead branches so we can grow properly. That means that as much as I miss some of the people that used to be in my life, I got to let some if not all of them go. Song writer said, "I'm not going back, moving ahead. I'm here to declare to you my past is over in You all things all made new. Surrendered my life to Christ, and I'm moving forward." It is written, "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new."

Now with all that being said that doesn't stop life from happening. It is written, "There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above  that you are able; but will with temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it." In other words, God will never put more on you than you can bear. Jesus said, "Come unto me all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

All this to say that I'm on the pathway of learning how to love/like Daniel. I still got a ways to go, but with God's help and with the help of the right people, I'm going to make it. Paul told the Philippians, "Brethren, I count not myself to have apprehended: but this one thing I do forgetting those things which are behind, and reaching forth unto those things which before, I press toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus."

Stay Saved, 

Daniel Richerson

If you search for Kirk Franklin Steve Harvey TBN testimony from 2011, you'll find the video of Kirk dropping a lot of jewels. 

DO YOU STILL BELIEVE?

 Isaiah 64:4 "For since the beginning of the world men have not heard, nor perceived by the ear, neither hath the eye seen, O God, beside thee, what he hath prepared for him that waiteth for him."

1 Corinthians 2:9 "But as it is written, Eye hath not seen, nor ear heard, neither have entered into the heart of man, the things which God hath prepared for them that love him." 

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, saith the Lord, thoughts of peace, and not of evil, to give you an expected end." 

The bible is still right. I know the phrase, "Holiness is still right" is the big cliche in the Pentecostal church. While I agree that Holiness is still right, but I question what are we really talking about. Are we talking about Holiness or are we talking about tradition? Are you talking about holiness or are we talking about style? 

Hebrews 12:14 "Follow peace with all men, and holiness, without which no man shall see the Lord."

Romans 14:19 "Let us therefore follow after the things which make for peace, and things where with one may edify another."

How can you say Holiness is right when we can't even get along with each other sometimes? Holiness is right while at the same time what we say on Social Media...it's not adding up. 

1 John 4:20-21 "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen. And this commandment have we from him, That he who loveth God love his brother also." 

How can we say holiness is still right while at the same time hate a person based on the lifestyle they live that may be different than how we live? So again, I ask, what is holiness? Again I say, the bible is still right. We're in the 4th quarter of 2020. The Bible is still right. Covid-19 doesn't seem to be going away, but the Bible is still right. Those verses I quoted at the beginning still hold up. I still believe eyes haven't seen the great things in store. I still believe God's promises are still yea and amen. I still believe His yoke is easy and His burden is light. I still believe 2 Chronicles 7:14. "If my people..." I still believe  in "they that wait..." 

The old song asks a question, "Whose report will you believe?" The response is, "We shall believe the report of the Lord." Do you still believe that God has the final say? I watched an interview with Dave Chappelle and Dave Letterman on Netflix. Chappelle, who is a Muslim, said, "I believe that God is in control, no matter what I worry about." I was going to write a post about are you walking about faith or by sight? It is written, "For we walk by faith, not by sight." I know, but the question still remains, are you walking by faith or by sight? Is what you're seeing affecting your relationship with your Faith?

Romans 10:9 "...that if thou shalt confess with thy mouth the Lord Jesus, and shalt believe in thine heart the God hath raise him from the dead, thou shalt be saved."

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

IT'S NOT TOO LATE

 I was waiting to post something new, but something my little sister told me, "Don't stop being creative." Through this pandemic, it hasn't been all bad. A lot of people worked on making their dreams come true. A lot of people started new businesses. Some people actually used this time of quarantine wisely. Now if you're like me, time got away from you during this time. I can speak for myself, my anxiety went from 50 to 100 real quick. I would have ideas to go back on YouTube, to start a book, to put a group of blogs together for a possible book, and yet here we are. I've always had anxiety issues, but like America did with racism, I swept it under a rug and thought I had it under control.

As I'm typing this we're going on 8 months of nobody really knowing what to do. People want things to go back to normal, but at the same time we got to define what is normal. Do we continue to sweep the issues we have as a nation under a rug and continue to go on day by day without acknowledging said issues. I know from personal experience if you continue to try to contain the issues without talking about them, you are going to blow up. This is exactly what happened in America. America swept racism under a rug and tried to keep that part of its history concealed. Then George Floyd happened. Breonna Taylor happened. Elijah McClain happened. Countless other incidents happened reported or not. And boom went the dynamite. Point is, we can't heal what we can't reveal. Kirk Franklin once said, "A doctor can only heal what we reveal." 

So what's next? Unfortunately we can't go back in time and fix what we did or didn't do to fix the timeline. So what do we do? I was sitting down one night and I heard this as clear as day,
"As long as you're breathing, it's not too late to make your dreams come true." The same God that did it for others the last 7 months, can do it for you this month. The question then comes that I've asked before in a previous blog, what do you want to do? What is that dream that you can't let go of? What is that thing that you can do? Then comes the effort. Then comes where the Bible says, "Faith without works is dead." Then comes where I heard it said, "You got to put feet on them prayers." We've been sitting down on it too long. We've been letting it fester too long. Let's get up and get it. Three words that I've seen from a lot of posts on social media, including some of my blog posts, simply "Don't give up." 

The Bible says, "If ye have faith as a grain of mustard seed, ye shall say unto this mountain, Remove hence to younger place; and it shall remove; and nothing shall be impossible unto you." The Good News Bible says it like this, "I assure you that if you have faith as big as a mustard seed, you can say to this hill, 'Go from here to there!' and it will go. You could do anything!" Luke 1:37 "For with God nothing shall be impossible." Ephesians 3:20 "Now unto Him that is able to do exceeding abundantly above all that that we ask or think, according to the power that worketh in us..." 

A  song that I've had on repeat, He'll Do It by Fred Hammond, goes, "My faith will carry me right to my destiny. I am sure and there's no doubt in my mind He'll do It." I suggest listening to that song it's been very motivational for me to keep going. 

So let's stop sitting around doing nothing but being jealous of those who went and got it. The Bible says, God has no respect of persons. God shows no partiality. Let's stop letting fear stop us from making moves. If a little bit of faith can move a mountain, imagine what a little bit of faith can do with your dreams and aspirations? If you're reading this, that means you're breathing. That means you still have shot. That means we still have a shot to make our dreams come true. James Fortune said it like this, "Dream again." 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

A LITTLE BIT OF FAITH IS STILL FAITH

 "Something down inside of me telling me to go ahead"

"I almost gave up but a power that I can't explain fell from heaven like a shower." (Kirk Franklin)

"I'll trust You, though is not easy. Sometimes the pain in my life makes You seem so far away, but I'll trust You. I need to know You're here. Through the tears and the pain. Through the heartache and rain. I'll trust you." (James Fortune)

"In spite of all I've done, Jesus You keep on looking out for me." (Kirk Franklin)

"If I concentrate on all the bad

And all the things I wish I had

How can the dark clouds ever pass?

Weeping may endure for a night

But joy comes in the morning light

God'll keep your spirit right

So, no matter what the people say

Ain't nobody takin' this joy away

Inspite of everything I've been through

I can say

Thank you Jesus, thank you Jesus" (Kirk Franklin)

In 2014 around September, I believe, I had a job working at this company Velux. As I am now, I was stand offish because I didn't know anybody, which made me an easy target of jokes. I was in my late 20s still dealing with other people talking about him. That's beside the point. One particular night, I was eating lunch which was a little bit of leftover Chinese food. One of my coworkers made a comment about how much food I had or didn't. I then made a comment that went something like, "Well, I've had less." Basically pointing out the fact that a little more than 3 years prior I didn't know when my next meal was coming from. So that then turned into a conversation about my story. Not having a home not having a  meal. I basically shared my story. That was really the first time I opened up about that. I got comfortable to finally having a roof over my head, and no longer being hungry like I was. I never really shared what I went through. So when I shared, I broke down. I tried my best to stop the tears from falling, but I didn't win that fight. What really broke me even more was after lunch break, I was still trying to get myself together. I was at my spot trying to do my job the best I can. Another one of my coworkers heard about what happened and my story, and he said, "To go through what you've gone through and still be able to stand here and work. You're a hell of a man." That was it for me.

I bring this story up because it was at this point where I felt that there was a reason for me to make it through all that I went through. It was as that point where I felt that I didn't go through what I went through for nothing. It was at that point where I felt that I had purpose. I knew I had purpose, but I didn't really feel that I had purpose. That night showed me, even if it was a glimmer, it showed me that my story meant something. Being a church kid, being raised where testimony service was still a thing, I heard, "We're overcome by the word of our testimony and the blood of the lamb." I believe that's based on Revelation 12:11. Song writer said, "My test became my testimony to tell." 

I'm not the only one with a story. I'm not the only one that knows what hope looks like. A glimmer of hope is still hope. A little bit of faith is still faith. Old song says, "You don't need a whole lot, just use what you got. Faith, faith, faith, just a little bit of faith." So I encourage you, and I encourage myself, to hold on to that faith. Hold on to that hope. God loves you despite of whatever you did or done. How can I say that? Well Romans 8:38-39, "For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angles, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come, nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord."

That was the first time an idea of writing a book came to mind, but I never really went in on it. I was still dealing with depression and self-doubt. In some ways, I'm still dealing with it. So the question is, how do I keep going on? How do I keep walking with my limp, as Jonathan McReynolds put it. To be honest, not to be cliche. It's God. Old song says, "He could have let me drown, but instead He took me in"

The Bible says, "Without faith it is impossible to please God." A mustard seed of faith can move mountains. We got to stay in the Bible. Stay in the field. Old song says, "Stay in the field, until the war is ended." I know we want people to care about us, but we got to care about us. We got to find value in ourselves. We got to see the worth in us. Somehow we got to learn to see through God's eyes not our own eyes. The Bible says, "Death and life is in the power of the tongue." So what are you speaking over yourself? What are you speaking over situations? What are you speaking? 

I heard Kirk Franklin say some time ago, "We no longer have to perform for God. We can go to God just as we are." What's that mean? Some churches look at you strange if you don't praise right. If you don't dance right. You can't praise like anybody else because you didn't go through what they went through. You know what you went through. Praise God for you not for anybody else. I heard somebody say, "Give God a praise that don't belong to anybody else." 

Now I put songs at the beginning. These are just some of the songs that help me get my mind right when I get down. When my anxiety kicks in, I go to songs like these. I go to people that I know can pray like my Mom and my little sister. I try to stay positive while I'm scared. I try to stay sane while feeling insane. I learn how to take the meat and spit out the bones. One thing I am making sure of is that I don't become so down that I don't fall for every "word" that comes my way. Why? Because a lot of pastors and leaders, not your pastor, not my pastor, but some pastors have become predators in sense that they're preying on your emotions. Even tough we're in a pandemic, those people that charge you for a prayer are still preying. Be careful. Hollywood is not the only place that's full of actors.

That's all I got for this one. I hope you got something out of it. If you read this far, can you please share? Thank you for reading.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

DONT LET DOUBT KILL YOU

To those of us to put on the mask of smiling the mask of faking that we are ok. How are you really doing? Are you doing ok? Well, I just want to say three simple words. Don't. Give. Up. 

Oxford defines doubt, "a feeling of uncertainty or lack of conviction." The verb form is defined as "feel uncertain about." A lot of us try to take the leap of faith but end up falling before we get to the other side due to panic or doubt. We feel that surge of energy to chase your dreams or do to just do what God tells you to do, but that little hole of doubt sets in and you end up procrastinating. You end up sitting in fear because you're too scared to do something. James 2:26 in the Contemporary English Version says, "Anyone who doesn't breathe is dead, and faith that doesn't do anything is just as dead!" If it takes faith to get started, it's going to take faith to keep doing.

It is written that without faith it's impossible to please God. So why do we try to please God with our performance? That's for another post.

When we find ourselves holding on by a thin thread, we got to have faith enough to believe that God can turn that thread into a closet full of blessings upon blessings.  They say watch out for that first step it's a doozie. "Doozie" meaning it's a big step or it's a deep step. The late Pastor Gray would tell me to walk the path that God has set before me. The path is set before you, but you still have to get on the path and walk. 

I know you're nervous, but take the step anyway. I know you're crying but take the step anyway. I know you've been through ups and downs, but take the step anyway. 2 Corinthians 5:7 in the King James Version says, "For we walk by faith and not by sight." Again I quote the late Pastor Gray, "Faith is daring the soul to go beyond what the eye can see." Now that doesn't mean what you see is not there. That means you got to keep going despite of what you see. You got to keep moving. Don't give up. Things may be moving slow, but take the step anyway. Things may look to be in a stand still, but take that step anyway. 

Paul said in Philippians 3:12-14 (New International Version), "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me. Brothers and sisters, I don't consider myself yet to have taken hold of it. But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus"

We're all taking this one step at a time. It's not wise to drive one way while looking in your rear view mirror. That's how crashes happen. If you're looking back, you're liable to run into a tree. You're liable to run into another car. You're liable to get out of your own lane and go into somebody else's. Don't let doubt of what's coming cause you to go back to what didn't work before. Or it may have worked, but what if God is taking you to new. We got some people letting the doubt of new hold them back. We sing songs like, "You make all things new, and I will follow you forward." But when new shows up it's, "We've never did it this way before." One thing about this Covid-19, is that it made people change. It forced people to think of "new" ways, when you had no time to dwell on your doubt and the doubt that comes from others, including family. Old song says, Keep your eyes on the prize, never mind what you left behind. Take the step anyway.

I thank you for reading. If you got something out of it, could you share please with your people. This was really directed at me. I'm 33. At times I'm scared, but I got to take the step anyway.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

WHAT DO YOU DO WHEN THEY WON'T LISTEN

Some feel like your voice is not being heard. Feel like your voice is falling on deaf ears. You sometimes feel like screaming because you feel like nothing is being accomplished. So you begin to ask a question, "Why should I keep talking? Nobody is listening anyway." I believe a lot of young preachers feel like this. I believe a lot of young people feel this way in regards to opening up to their parents. Simply, my answer is keep talking. It only takes one seed, and you don't know what that one seed is going to turn into.

If you read Matthew 13:1-9;18-23, Jesus shares and explains a parable talking about a farmer planting seeds. Explaining that some seeds fall on good ground, stony ground...some seeds get eaten by birds, and yet the farmer keeps throwing the seeds out. When you're sharing the truth about racism, or the truth about the Gospel, your job is the plant the seed. Every plant you see was a seed. Every idea started out as a seed. 

Hosea 10:12 talks of breaking the fallow ground. The Winans put it like this, "Break up that fallow ground. Before these Earthly cares choke you out, turn you around. Break up the fallow ground." Trying to speak to people that already has a made up heart and mind, it's a tough wall to get through. It's written that the day you hear God's voice harden not your heart. Why? God is love. When your heart is hardened, you're not going to let any one in. God wants your heart. Out of the abundance of the heart the  mouth speaks right? What are you speaking out of? It is written with love and kindness have I drawn them. I've heard it said you can draw more flies with honey than you you can with vinegar. 

Don't let anybody tell you how to use your voice. You got people speaking one way, and questioning other's for not using their voice the same way. Questioning ones heart because they are not doing things the way you did it or do it. Where have I seen/heard that before? I don't know about you but that logic reminds me of how some, some I said, church folk feel about praise and worship. If you don't praise God like the who ever has the microphone tells you too, you'll get accused of "not praising." Because obviously, you praise to be seen. Like you protest obviously to be seen. In Matthew 6 Jesus says repeatedly, "thy Father which seeth in secret himself shall reward thee openly." It also talks about, when you do things to be seen, you already have your reward. 

So what do you do when nobody wants to listen? What do you don when it seems like nobody cares what you got to say? What do you do when you're talking but nobody likes the way you're presenting it? Keep talking. Some seeds fall on good ground some don't. You can't control the soil in this scenario. Keep talking. Keep posting. Let your voice be heard. Continue to speak the truth in love. So what you don't do it like everybody else. We all got our own race to run, and everybody don't run the same way. Somebody is waiting to hear you, and they can't hear you if you're mouth is shut. Pray that people will break that fallow ground and allow the truth to enter in the hearts. Ye shall now the truth and the truth shall make you free.

Thanks for reading. I hope you got something out of it. I'm still tired mentally, but I got this out. If you did get something out of it, I ask that you share this by retweeting and/or sharing on your Facebook, or how ever else you can. 

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

CHECK THE SNOUT

I looked up the definition of prey and a couple of definitions came to mind, but this one definition caught my eye, "to have an injurious, destructive, or wasting effect."

Webster defines the act of praying, "to address God or a god with adoration, confession, supplication, or thanksgiving"

In the wild, when a predator is on the hunt, they usually don't go after the strongest victim. Sometimes the most vulnerable prey is the one that ends up getting caught. The one that's not paying attention. That's the one that gets got.

1 Peter 5:8  "Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour."

Matthew 7:15-20 KJV, "Beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep's clothing, but inwardly they are ravening wolves. Ye shall know them by their fruits. Do men gather grapes of thorns, or figs of thistles? Even so every good tree bringeth forth good fruit; but a corrupt tree bringeth forth evil fruit. A good tree cannot bring forth evil fruit, neither can a corrupt tree bring forth good fruit. Every tree that bringeth not forth good fruit is hewn down, and cast into the fire. Wherefore by their fruits ye shall know them.

I'm going to share the same verses from Matthew from the Message Bible, "Be wary of false preachers who smile a lot, dripping with practiced sincerity. Chances are they are out to rip you off some way or other. Don’t be impressed with charisma; look for character. Who preachers are is the main thing, not what they say. A genuine leader will never exploit your emotions or your pocketbook. These diseased trees with their bad apples are going to be chopped down and burned."

We've all heard the saying wolves in sheep's clothing. Don't be impressed with clothing. A clean suit doesn't mean anointing. A clean suit doesn't mean pure in heart. A pimp knows how to look good in a suit too. A drug dealer. A politician. So it has to be more than the right clothes. A white collar doesn't make you a preacher. Basically what I'm saying is, check the snout. There's a difference between the snout of a sheep and a snout of a wolf.

Be careful of who you're listening to. During this time a lot of people have itching ears, and people will tell you anything to satisfy that itch. You don't have to go into everyone's live feed. This is not the time to be church hopping. Ever hear the older generation talk about they don't eat everyone's cooking? Why? You don't know what they put in the food. You don't know if they got cats or dogs all up in the food while preparing the food. You don't know for sure that they washed prior to touching the food. So naturally, so spiritually. You don't know the motives behind the message. You don't know what the message is seasoned with. Is the message using scripture in the proper context or are they using scripture to satisfy the ears of the vulnerable? Be alert. Be sober. 

Ephesians 4:26-32, "Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.  Let him who stole steal no longer, but rather let him labor, working with his hands what is good, that he may have something to give him who has need. Let no corrupt word proceed out of your mouth, but what is good for necessary edification, that it may impart grace to the hearers. And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, by whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you."

It's ok to be angry. I believe a lot of us are angry. Angry about the racism. Angry about the ignorance. Angry about politics. It's ok to be angry, but don't let the anger push you to do something stupid. Inhale, exhale. Use the anger as motivation to do something productive. Use that anger to do something constructive. This doesn't mean that you let people walk over you. You're standing up for yourself in way that productive and not destructive. At the same time you poke a bear long enough...that's when you use God as your back up. You do as the old hymn says. "Have a little talk with Jesus. Tell Him all about your troubles. He will hear the faintest cry. And He'll answer by and by. When you feel the prayer wheel turning. You'll know that the fire is burning. Just a little talk with Jesus makes it all right."

Exodus 14:14, "The Lord shall fight for you, and ye shall hold your peace."

Thank you for reading. I ask that you share this with everyone you like and don't like if you got something out of it.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

IN DUE SEASON

Romans 14:10-13 "Why do you pass judgment on your brother? Or you, why do you despise your brother? For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God; for it is written, “As I live, says the Lord, every knee shall bow to me, and every tongue shall confess to God.” So then each of us will give an account of himself to God. Therefore let us not pass judgment on one another any longer, but rather decide never to put a stumbling block or hindrance in the way of a brother."

Matthew 7:3-5 "Why do you see the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? Or how can you say to your brother, ‘Let me take the speck out of your eye,’ when there is the log in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

We're busy trying to cancel people. We're busy trying to play God, meaning we're acting like we have a heaven or hell to put anybody in. We've been on the umbilical cord too long. I respect the old school just as much as anybody else, but we've been feeding off the old school too long that some of us haven't opened the Bible for ourselves. Some have been on milk so long that when someone comes with solid food, they spit it out. Some of us have been so connected to the old school mentality that when the message comes in a new way, we cast it out as demonic when actually it's God trying to tell you something. It's time to cut the umbilical cord. Listen cutting the cord does not dismiss the old school and all the good that it bought.  The old saying goes like this, "Take the meat, and spit out the bones."

We're all exhausted. We all need a break from the news and social media because just about every other posts reminds us that we have a long way to go as a nation. We have a long way to go as a body of Christ. All these posts should push us to to prayer. Should push us to talking more with God and less to our phones or computers. Prayer and fasting still works if you use it. There's a screw driver on my dresser that is not being used. Doesn't mean it's broken. It's just not being used. The folks outside the church realize how important fasting is, why can't the church? The church has belittled the world so much, it's no wonder that people like to window shop churches besides going in a buying anything. Like how black people don't go certain places because they know that they don't get treated right when they go to that certain place. So the question becomes what kind of church do people see when they look in your window? Is it a church of love and kindness? Or is it a church of open rebuke and a dress code?

Imagine if God chose to cancel us after we messed up. The wages of sin is death, right? So imagine if God was like man? Imagine how you would feel? I know people that won't come back to church now because of what we're doing to other people that misspoke. People disregard church hurt like it's meaningless, but it's just like being treated like the proverbial red headed step child. You're technically with us, but you get none of the benefits. Who would want to be in that kind of family? You wonder why kids join gangs instead of finding a church home?

Galatians 6:9 " And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up."

I know we're getting tired of protesting. We're getting tired of trying to explain why we get angry about police brutality. Why we get angry about racism. Keep going. Yes, we've been marching for years. We've been pleading our case for years. In due season. We've never seen a world wide support like this. We've never seen a death of an unarmed black man cause this much outrage globally. We've never seen so much support from white people, specifically white celebrities. In due season. Don't faint. If they aren't listening, keep talking. If they don't care, keep talking. I remember plenty of times I'd sit in class not giving two cares about what the teacher was saying, but they kept talking. Because they knew they had a job to do. We have a job to do. We have a message that needs to be sent out.

The last clause of Romans 10:14 "And how are they to hear without someone preaching?"

I know there's people on my timeline that don't agree with what I blog about and what I post on my social media, but I still believe that the message needs to be heard. I believe that once you're truly sick and tired of being sick and tired, you're going to do something about it. Saying goes, if you're not part of the solution, you're part of the problem.

Thank you for reading. As preachers that go live on FB say, can I get as many of you that can to please share? I thank those that do share my thoughts on their social media. I thank those that like to comment in person. Thank you for reading. Feel free to go down the timeline and check out the other posts that I've done over the years.

Stay Saved,

Daniel Richerson

OPEN THOUGHTS TO THOSE WHO DON'T CARE

I was told when the whole Kaepernick situation was going on, that what Kaepernick was doing was not only against the American Flag, it was against God. The young man that told me that was a proud southern white man. I couldn't even make it make sense how protesting police brutality is against God? Now with the George Floyd situation happening, it got me wondering, where we at now? Is what happened to George Floyd more God fearing? Will those cops have open access to Heaven for what they did?

I got to thinking about my family, and I wonder if other mixed people are feeling the same way. I see my black cousins speaking out and speaking up on what's going on. I know I'm not "all the way black" but I do own a mirror. I hear what I sound like. I realize that it could be me. I could be a hashtag. And with that being said, I found myself thinking about more of my white side of the family, mainly the ones I haven't met. If it was me, would you care then, or would I just be another dead nigga? What scares me is that I got some family members crying angry over George Floyd, and I got some family members who could care less.

You know what? I just want to say thank you to all of those who say, All Lives Matter, in response to Black Lives Matter. I want to say thank you to those who are silent. I want to say thank you for those who like to argue with my generation and not talk to our generation. I say thank you because now we know who really cares and who doesn't. Who really cares that it could've easily been me or my black family members to become a hashtag all because of the way we look.

Why do I say that when people say All Lives Matter they don't care? Cause I'm literally crying in your face and because you're not crying you're wondering why should I be crying? I'm telling you I got a headache, but you're saying because you don't have a headache, why should you care about mine? My pain matters too. Our pain matters. Not saying yours don't, but I'm screaming. Let me scream! Don't say you shouldn't scream cause I'm not screaming. Ask me why am I screaming? How can I help? Humanity. "All lives matter in the eyes of God." So, you're saying that God doesn't hear the cry of black people because he cares for all lives. So if a parent has a couple of kids and one of them are crying, this parent shouldn't hear the cry of that one due to having other kids.

Matthew 18:10-15 "Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven. For the Son of Man has come to save that which was lost. What do you think? If a man has a hundred sheep, and one of them goes astray, does he not leave the ninety-nine and go to the mountains to seek the one that is straying? And if he should find it, assuredly, I say to you, he rejoices more over that sheep than over the ninety-nine that did not go astray. Even so it is not the will of your Father who is in heaven that one of these little ones should perish."

There's an old hymn called That One Lost Sheep,

"The Shepherd went out to search for His sheep

And all thro' the night on the rocky steep

He sought till he found him

With love bands he bound him

And I was that one lost sheep"

Those who are silent. Silence is speaking loud right now. Silence is conforming. This is not the time for silence. If you're silent, I can't hear that you care. I can't hear if you hear my cry. I can't hear if you don't care.

Some people are looking to argue and not looking to have a conversation. That's why some people in my generation don't go to the older generation. We're tired of conversation that turn into arguments. We just want answers. We want direction. We want help. If they're not willing to help, do your own research.

"Good cop, good cop, where is your dignity?
Where's your empathy?
Where is your sympathy?
Bad cop, where's your humanity?
Good cop, is that just a fantasy?" ~ Good Cop Bad Cop, Ice Cube

"Tell me what has become of my rights
Am I invisible because you ignore me?
Your proclamation promised me free liberty, now
I'm tired of bein' the victim of shame
They're throwing me in a class with a bad name
I can't believe this is the land from which I came
You know I do really hate to say it
The government don't want to see
But if Roosevelt was livin'
He wouldn't let this be, no, no" ~ They Don't Care About Us, Michael Jackson

To all that are against black lives mattering, to all the white supremacist in my family, I want to say that I still love you. I'm praying for you. To my family, if we ever meet, I hope we can hug like family and not fight like enemies. Sadly I haven't met a lot of my family members on my Dad's side and regardless of the reason, and I don't even know if you'll ever read this. But I just want to say, I'm Daniel Richerson. I'm mixed. Not by choice. I'm family. If you don't want to accept that, that's ok. I'm still praying for you. I still love you even though you probably don't love me.

And to my family members who are down, who really cares, I see you. Respect. When we're allowed to BBQ again---

~Daniel Richerson