GOD MADE ME WHO I AM

I've gone through like five different intros to this post. I know where I want the body of the post to go, but how to get the ball rolling has my mind going back and forth. But here it is:

Remember the movie 8 Mile, and the final battle rap scene. The character, B-Rabbit, started the final battle by going down all his flaws so his opponent couldn't say anything about him. Something happened me recently to help me embrace who I am. I won't go into it, but I will say this, if you grow up being made fun of because of how you smell and how you walk or as they say now, bullied, you learn to get over it, but a piece of that never leaves you. You try to contain it as much as you can, but there's still a piece of that victim still in you. At least in my case. I can't speak for everybody else. So yes even at 28 years old, I still deal with low self-esteem regarding my flaws, looks, etc. But again something happened and it helped me really realize that not everybody is going to accept me. Not everybody is going to like the face that my head is bigger than average. Not everybody is going to like that I'm overweight. Not everybody going to like that my feet are not straight when I walk. But I realized after this incident, that God made me who I am, and in spite of my imperfections, God still loves me.

I know there's a lot of stuff out now for women to embrace their flaws, but not really much for straight men who also deal with image issues. I guess it's a pride thing men have that make them act like they're not insecure. Well it's not an act for me. I am insecure, or should I say still a little insecure.

Growing up there were those that took pleasure at laughing at my flaws, but at the same time there were those that looked passed my flaws, and got to know this mixed boy with image issues. So when ever there was times in my live to have my head down, there was at the same time reason to keep my head up. It was as if God was saying, "I got you, Daniel."

Like just some time ago, I was thinking nobody cares. Then my pastor asked me something I never really got asked before. He asked me how I'm doing mentally and spiritually. Never got asked that by anybody. Again, God was letting me know, "I have not forgot about you."

I've heard all my life, "What the devil, meant for bad God turned it around for my good." This incident was meant for me to go to another state of depression, but it turned out to teach me how to forgive and sleep peacefully. It taught me how to accept the flaws I got and go on living.

My dad preached a message one time that was talking about how Jesus was asleep in the midst of the storm before Jesus said, "Peace be still." Dad kept repeating, "Grab a pillow and go to sleep." That's just what I did. I forgave and got the one of the best nights of sleep I've got in weeks.

"No weapon that is formed against thee shall prosper; and every tongue that shall rise against thee in judgment thou shalt condemn. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and their righteousness is of me, saith the Lord." Isaiah 54:17

Stay Saved, 

Daniel Richerson