Never let an opprunity pass you by. I followed the crowd all my life. The only reason I started cussing, is because friends did. Only reason I started a message board is cause other people did. Thinking about life, mine could've been so much better if I would've took advantage of what I had. Just by actually talking to people, I'd prolly be better now. If I had been myself all my life instead of following the crowd, I'd be better off now.
I've been tender-hearted all my whole life. Example, 6th grade I wrote a letter to 2 girls. Not knowing any better, I told them how hot I thought they were. Basically I was naive. Jordan hasn't talked to me since. People kept asking me if I liked one of the girls or not. I'd keep my head down and not answer because I was to embarrassed. It's like I wanted my life to be as dramatic as possible. 'ey, it worked!!
I know I mentioned this before, but from the 5th grade to 9th grade I had a crush on another girl. All those years, and I never told her once. Oh I wrote notes and notes, and never gave her one. 8th grade I wrote a book entitled The Life of Dusty. This girl was the love interest. The book was perverted to be honest with ya, but people loved it. This girl wasn't supposed to read it. With my luck though, the book was passed around the whole school and ended up in her fingers. I was such an idiot. I was sitting in homeroom with a note. I think my friend Je'sus wrote it for me to give to a girl, mainly to that girl. 2 girls sitting in front of me, who were attractive by the way, asked me who it was for. I think they knew already, but they just wanted me to say it. One of them asked if it was one of them. I don't remember giving a straight answer to anything. I was such a punk. I guess nothing much as changed. Imagine if I had to guts to actually give one of the girls the note...good God!
All my years in school, I don't think I had a saved friend. Not one. I mean they were saved for a minute, but within the next month they were cussing like a salior. Most of the saved friends I have now are online.
If I find a soul mate at Greenville Tech, I'll be shocked. It would be a miracle. All of the girls I run into either smoke, cuss, screw anything that walks, or is a dike--has a lick-her license if you know what i mean. I'm like the Clark Sisters, I'm looking for a miracle. I hope it happens soon.
I'm still scared to be myself outside of my house. The internet is just another mask for me. That's all it is. It's another way I can put on a mask and be another person.
To Jo: Thanks for being a friend to me. Through the past months, you've been one of the nicest people I've ever met online. I thank you for that.
To Greg Mims: From the first day we met on the bus in 6th grade, we've been cool. I don't think we ever had a dull moment. During my last years at Lakecrest, you actually got me out the house. Thanks for being my friend.
To PraiZe: You keep living for God, man. Continue to seek Him the more. You have no idea what God has in store for you. Other people may talk about you like a dog, but don't let it get to you. You be you always. Don't front for anybody. From the KJ Board to now, we've been tight. God bless you.
To Ben (Pedro): What can I say? It seems like we've known each other longer than we actually have. Remember when we talked about being roommates? or that movie we talking about doing? Heh, we had some great times, huh? I hope we have many more man.
If this is the first blog you've ever read by me, then I hope you enjoyed it. Thank you all for reading. Keep praying for me. Much love.
To my future wife out there, whoever you are, I'm praying for you.
Big d
